In Love and War
by RaindropSoup
Summary: History is what defines us, personal and otherwise. To conquer it, one must decide not what they love more, but what's more important, and where one stood—with ALL things considered—could make all the difference. AU-NM. All TwiChars. **Nom'd Best Shock Value in the Avant Garde Awards** ON HOLD
1. Into the Deep

All right, this fic started because I had questions, couldn't get answers from the illustrious SM, and have an overactive imagination like everyone else. So, get ready for an intricate version of what SM has left out and a crazy little spin on known TwiHistory. ;)

**= IIVIII =**

**IMPORTANT STORY NOTES AND WARNINGS **_(Bear with me, please.)_**  
**— _**Mentions**_** rape and sodomy**. Although the scene itself is not written, there will be a couple details of the act. The majority of it, however, will only be mentioned or implied. Please know that I don't condone the atrocious act in any way. I include it for various reasons, some of which you can find in the **story's forum on Twilighted **(link on profile).  
— **The Quileute wolves and their legends play a large part.** Several of the beginning chapters focus on them and their relation to the vampires and Bella. Don't like the beasts? You can either hit _back_ or continue, but please don't skip any chapters because you're not fond of the pack. Opening chapters are the much needed background, setting, and character and relational building of any story, including this one. The Cullens, Peter, and many other characters have important roles as well.  
—** AU and contains a lot of info.** There are the lost (or maybe, forgotten) characters, "new" and different history, the creation of vampires, and more. Even though I use canon elements from the series and try to fill in some blanks, I will branch off—dramatically. References to real world events, mythology, philosophy, and various other topics are made and noted (after much research), and you can find the more detailed references and chapter recaps on the story blog. If, however, I got something wrong, please let me know via PM so I can change it; otherwise, I hope you can find it in your heart to overlook the errors.  
— **Plot before romance, and a slow burn. **There won't be an "at first sight, I'm in love." No _love conquers all_ and comes before all. It doesn't, even if it should. Also, know that IL&W isn't simply a love story that focuses on Caius and Bella, but those who surround the pair and the different aspects of love as well. The Greek didn't have four words for _love_ for nothing, and one can love many things. And yes, there will be lemons eventually.**  
— Oh, and your favorite character(s) might die. **There! Don't say I didn't warn you! This fic is _not_ all mush and happily ever afters.

**= IVIII =**

Many thanks to PTB for the insight and writing resources, and to marlena516 and MeteorMuse for editing the first edition of this chapter after it was posted. For flow purposes, the revised version you see here is slightly different from the original, though contains nothing new plot-wise (just better writing, more or less description, and clearer themes), and it was edited only by me. Forgive my mistakes and horribly perfectionistic nature, will you?

**= IVIII =**

_**Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. All other publicly recognizable details belong to their original owners and authors. Copyright infringement is not intended. The original characterizations, plot lines, and details belong to the respective author. **_

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— "_Walking With Happiness" by The Best Pessimist —_

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_Chapter One_

**Into The Deep**

**BELLA SWAN**

Peace. Contentment. Hope.

The words could be read, spelled, and defined easily enough, but I could never put moments to such emotions until now.

With an expanse of gray, rainy clouds and the deep, sapphire water of the Pacific ahead, I sat atop the La Push cliffs and stared into an endless horizon swelling of possibilities. Well, more like probabilities. The dark clouds brewing miles away foretold storms and various problems. The water below reflected more restless nights with a salty, wet face and bone-deep aches. Yet, it was the sun peeking and glinting throughout that enticed and drew the eye with its contrast. Shining with the promise of warmth and light, the streaking rays hinted at better days, and if brave and far-reaching enough, I imagined I could hold and live each.

Little did I know I had been doing just that over the past few months.

Day after day, I had come to this spot to escape as well as remember. I had wanted to hold on to visions of a boy and the dream of another life, and somehow, stop the pain as I did. The cliffs had given me both. Diving had induced the illusions, while the view brought the peace. Mesmerized, I could witness two opposite kinds of weather—tumultuous and calm—in one span of space and time, and I found myself here even more often because of it. I could relate. It matched how I had felt: unstable, with a calm border-lining dead on the outside, and a sea of anger and hurt beneath.

Then visit by visit, the dream and the visions had faded. With them, the dark days became lighter, the ache less sharp. Though far from perfect, the future became brighter and easier to accept. Instead of dreading everything, I looked forward to what came next, and I didn't even realize it until this morning on my way to the Rez—exactly one year after Edward left.

I wouldn't have even known the date if it hadn't been for the pack eying my every move and expression during breakfast at the Uleys'. Over the past two months, people had stopped watching me so closely, which helped my nerves and mood greatly. So when the sixth person had asked how I was feeling, I had snapped, demanding why everyone wanted to know. It hadn't helped that the person who had asked was the last I thought would show a care with so many eyes watching: Paul.

Of course, he had growled a few colorful words and names at me before he swiped my blueberry muffin and stomped off, making me instantly regret my reaction, though he didn't answer my question. It was after cleaning the morning dishes and making our grocery run that Emily had clued me in with care. The reminder hurt, lashing only for a moment every now and then before I beat it back down.

But then another, entirely different ache began as I had walked on the beach alone after the conversation. I had realized that I had put the people who loved me through hell alongside me. Deep down, I had always known but never cared, at least not enough to make a great effort on my part. What gnawed and stripped me raw, though, was the fact that there were people who unconditionally loved and cared for me, and it was only today that I was open enough to _feel_ and accept it. Never one to be so free and comfortable with emotion, it humbled me.

I had loved the Cullens with everything I had, keeping their secret and spending every available moment that I could with them at the expense of others, only wanting them to love me enough to keep me for eternity in return. In hindsight, it sounded entirely selfish, as well as sad. True, great love demanded nothing in return, but I did. Who was I to ask the Cullens to take my life, when it went against everything they stood for? The question stung.

Did I really believe—and act—as though the Cullens were better? The answer scared me. My actions over the past year spoke volumes. I had alienated everyone, except the Cullens. I had put them first above all others, including myself, and shouldn't have. That thought had sounded selfish, too, until my next reflective thought.

What had I been trying to prove? That I was good enough? Though awkward and never comfortable around others, I rarely cared what others thought of me. With the Cullens, I had constantly worried over who, and what, I was and had aimed to please. I used to be the girl who was independent, yet dependable. I was responsible, even at a young age, making choices for myself and for others who should have made them in the first place, and I never used to lie to my parents, having avoided situations where I had to or that would cause them any worry.

But I couldn't recall making one important, and _good,_ decision since my arrival in Forks, or a day when I didn't lie. The last conscious, unselfish choice I could remember making was moving to Forks—for my mother and Phil, for my dad and myself. Where was that girl?

When I had finally plopped against my favorite spot at the cliffs—an oddly placed, large old cedar with exposed, gnarly roots and a niche that created an embracing seat—I was at a loss, comprehending that I had lost myself. And for what? Love? Really? It was then that I knew the type of relationship I had with Edward could be the most dangerous, and it hadn't entirely been because he was a vampire. We were young, naïve, and for the first time, in love.

It was as simple as that: love. Nothing menacing or tangible that it was unavoidable or too fearful, but still precarious, especially for the inexperienced and unsuspecting. Wonderfully normal and human, the experience shouldn't be feared, and hardly anyone could blame another for wanting it—and for wanting to keep it. Our expectations might have been high, our wants a bit demanding and immovable—the circumstances surely hadn't helped—but I truly believed what Edward and I had was beautiful, that we had been in love.

The words had hit me with startling and freeing clarity. _Had been._

Sometime over the past few months, I had let him go. Without meaning to, I had begun to move on. The knowledge hurt a little, as if I had lost another piece of myself—and again, without my noticing. God, I hoped I wasn't always so clueless and unaware, but I was glad I was able to acknowledge it now, also recognizing that I probably wouldn't have been able to before today.

I had actually thought I'd never be capable. How foolish was that? Most people lost their first love; it really wasn't the end of the world. Like most, I had come to accept it was all for the best. I had never truly believed Edward and the Cullens would stay, anyway, which was probably one of the reasons why I had held on to them so tightly. But even if I could turn back time, I didn't want to change the outcome or any moment spent with them—not anymore.

I wasn't foolish enough to believe that I was completely over it, though. One year might have diminished the pain of having been left behind, but it still lingered in my room, in the forest behind my house. Those ghosts, those phantom pains, made me wonder what it would be like if I ever saw the Cullens again. I'd like to think the meeting would be nothing more than passing nostalgia, that I could remain indifferent afterward.

I knew that was a lie, and the lying to myself had to stop today.

Seeing Edward would be the hardest, I knew. I hadn't wanted to think about being within arm's reach of him, hating how a smidgen of hope bloomed at the thought. It was squashed immediately—and repeatedly—as I had forced myself to entertain the possibility of running into him, however minute the chance might be. Yet, no matter how long I had thought it over, I didn't know how I would react. He would always be special to me. All I could hope for was to do the right thing _for me_—that I wouldn't let the memory of him drive me into fruitlessly trying to recapture what we had, or worse (and the more likely), be afraid to love someone else.

If I was being honest with myself, I had stayed in Forks with the hope of making it easier for them to find me, but it was also the fear that I could run into them if I left that kept me here. I wouldn't have been able to handle running into them, and like Charlie, I had resorted to what I knew and was comfortable with. The longer I had continued to sit at the cliffs, waiting for Jake, I understood that that and everything else I had finally come to grips with was life. It was about choices, and we had all made ours.

Better words could have been said, a few situations handled better, and I'd missed the part of me that was hopelessly romantic, but meeting the Cullens and their leaving was one of the best things that could have happened to me. I loved where a summer with the wolves and my father had brought me and who I had become because of it all. I liked knowing what was truly out there, that the supernatural existed, and I was prepared, knowing what to look for. If my track record on awareness and danger magnetism was any indication, I needed the upper hand, as small as it might be.

Toying with the bracelet that Jake gave me for graduation—the pack also having given me handmade, wooden wolf charms for my birthday in a great show that I was a part of the pack and their family—I knew I had a choice to make, one that concerned only me. The pack, the tribe, Charlie—people who loved me dearly and were still here—were waiting just like I had been. Yet, where I was waiting for who knows what, my family and friends were waiting for _me_. Today proved it.

Charlie had gone into work late this morning, surprising me at the bottom of the stairs as he asked how I was feeling and what my plans were. Though the last two weren't unusual, it was his worry, turned baffled relief, and then hopeful uncertainty that had prompted me to ask if _he_ was all right. The awkward squeeze of my shoulders before he left should've tipped me off.

Then it had been the pack and breakfast. We all tried to gather for one every other day, only managing to do so twice a week, and even then, there were always at least two people missing. Well, we had met every day for the past week and had fought for a chair each time. And I was embarrassed to admit that I had thrown my hands up in the air when Sue and Old Quil asked me the question of the day while Emily and I had been at the store, and that I had also pathetically growled at Billy when we dropped off a couple bags of food and he inquired how I felt.

It was obvious these people loved me, but it also clearly showed that they were waiting for me to break.

And _that_ was heartbreaking.

They were waiting for me, had prepared for a breakdown and were ready to there. A tiny piece of me was bitter that they had so little faith, but more than anything, I was grateful. I had a family, a big one. Their love might not move mountains, but it sure could fill and mend a broken heart. And it was time to stop waiting, for all our sakes'. I needed to grow up, to say goodbye to the girl who once loved a boy, and to start living.

It was time to really move on.

As I filled my lungs with the salt-tinged air and closed my eyes, three words came to mind. Peace. Contentment. Hope.

No longer just words, the emotions were gloriously felt, easing my shoulders and my heart. When I opened my eyes, I stared into the horizon and knew what I wanted. Ever so slowly, I stood up and walked to the very edge of the cliff. The wind on my face, the image and feel of the wide, empty expanse before me exhilarated my mind and body. I needed it. Thinking for so long and hard was draining.

_Old soul, indeed_, I thought, smiling and thinking of my mother. She'd be the first person I'd visit, and then maybe Angela. I needed to start looking into college, and already knowing someone at the school was an appealing draw on top of strengthening that friendship. As more weight left me with the thought, I laughed and threw my arms out.

I was making the right choice. I could feel it in my bones.

Then, remembering what I was doing, I laughed some more. Jake and I usually only jumped from the halfway point, and he would be so mad if I dove from the top. But nothing would deter me. Not today. Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I bent my knees and raised my hands above my head. My grin grew as a gush of wind lifted my hair and tickled my arms. I exhaled as I readied to jump, and—

I screamed as hands caught me mid-air and snatched me back.

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Bells?"

I turned in the arms of the boy I knew so well and smacked his bare chest, pushing him away. "Damn you, Jacob Black! You scared the fucking shit out of me!"

Truly shaken from being startled out of my moment of deep peace, I continued smacking him, following him as he kept stepping back. When I stopped, huffing from frustration and being out of breath, he grabbed my wrists and grinned, completely unfazed.

"Ooh, potty mouth Bells." I didn't smile, and his own slipped. "Look, I'm sorry for scaring you, and I know I'm late—"

"Try to two hours late."

"—but I told you to wait for me. Glad I got here in time, too." He pointed behind me. "A storm's coming."

I looked over my shoulder and noticed the dark, dense brumes were closer and angrier. Peeking over the cliff's edge, I decided the water wasn't too bad … yet. Hoping it would help convince him, I looked at him with big eyes.

"I guess that means no jumping today, huh?" I tried to sound and look forlorn. His lips pressing together to hide his smile told me he wasn't fooled. I sighed. "All I wanted to do today was dive off the top and then ride to shore on the back of a wolf."

He nodded, unmoved. "Uh-huh."

"_And_ I've realized a few things, made some decisions. I feel really good about them. I need to look into some things, but it's time, you know? I can't stay here forever. I just …" My shoulders drooped. "I just need to go on, living."

He smiled a sad sort of smile and nodded.

"Of course," I started, needing to reassure him, "I won't be doing too many things all at once, and it won't be any time soon. But I _really_ want to commemorate it by jumping." Using the move Quil and Embry told me worked on Jake, I bit my lip and looked down before peeking up and giving a saucy smile. "Please?"

He laughed. "Wow! You're really working it good there."

Face dropping, I whimpered.

"Damn it. Fine! But only once. We need to hurry up; the pack's waiting. Oh, and you're going to tell me what you realized." He raised an eyebrow, daring me not to tell him if we were commemorating.

"And _you're_ going tell me why you're late," I countered.

Face serious, Jake looked at me intently, searching for something. His hesitation worried me a little, but he'd tell me if the news was important and applied to me. So, I gave him a smile and widened my eyes a little more. He took my hand, nodding begrudgingly as he walked us to the edge of the cliff.

"Jump on three. As always, when you land, swim parallel to the shore. I'll come to you." He rolled his eyes. "Then, you can swim on my back. I'm going to put a little distance between us so I can phase." Then he mumbled to himself, "God, this is really stupid. Sam's going to chew on my hind legs."

When we stopped at the edge, he turned to me and squeezed my hand. "Ready?"

I looked at him, knowing he referred to more than just jumping. I took in the smile that always made me want to as well, those knowing eyes that could read beneath the surface and never held judgment, and how that russet skin and no longer boyish face would forever be all sorts of beautiful to me. This was my best friend. Long ago, we used to play together as children, but it was _this_ year that we had grown up together. I knew the pack meeting he had just come from was about him being the Alpha. If he was ready for that responsibility, I was definitely ready to live my life.

Squeezing his hand, I replied, "I am. Are you?"

He laughed. "What do you think?"

I grinned, squeezing his hand one more time before letting go and putting space between us. Raising my brows at him, I started. "One."

"Two!"

I laughed at his enthusiasm and bent my legs.

Together, we screamed, "THREE!"

I launched myself into wide-open air, into a world deep of possibilities where there was no turning back. My laughter became a scream before it stopped as my stomach rose and lodged in my throat, the jump from the top of the cliff higher than I had thought. It was an adrenaline rush, a mixture of happiness and freedom tinged with fear. Nothing excited me more.

When I finally hit the water, I had to stop myself from gasping. The water was freezing! It caused my chest to constrict. The desperate need for air seized me and caused alarm. For a moment, I kicked wildly, almost mindlessly, before I broke the surface, panting and trying to get my bearings. I glanced around, looking for Jake's russet hide, but couldn't see him. As I began swimming mostly parallel to the shore, I realized the waves were more vicious than they looked from above, and even though I had been doing this all summer, I was having a hard time swimming and staying above the surface.

I knew Jake would find me, yet I couldn't help but look around for him. I was already getting tired, and fear started creeping in. Angry waves swelled higher and beat harder. My limbs grew heavier. Panic threatened to choke. I screamed for Jake, wondering where the hell he was. He never took more than a minute or two to find me, and the thought of something happening to him … No, I wouldn't even think about it. I couldn't.

Pushing myself to keep going, I dove beneath the next consuming wave, trying to escape it and get around it. But it was just as I was about to resurface that I saw her and did a double take.

Victoria.

I gasped, inhaling water as I thrashed and tried to escape. Even in the darkened sea, there was no mistaking the flaming red hair swirling around a feline face and ruby eyes, which suddenly appeared and leveled a few inches from mine. They glinted with malicious glee. Her sneering smile rank the same. When she grabbed my arm, my lungs burned as I tried to scream. My vision dimmed before I felt whacks on my back and heard roaring in my ears—the waves crashing, my heart pounding, the water coming up my throat. Turned over, with rocks digging into my back, I looked up at Victoria's face hovering above my own.

_Did she really just save me?_

"You're not dying. _Not yet._ I have so much planned for you," she cooed, her finger running across my cheek and down my neck. "And I will get to play with you first. I've been waiting a while, and I intend to savor all of our time together." Her bell-like, childish voice didn't sound very menacing, but I was still terrified. There was a frightening amount of anticipation in her eyes.

Victoria's head snapped toward the water. I followed her line of sight as I tried to inch away from her. Neither was any use. I didn't see anything with my human eyes, and she had already taken off, running with me in her arms anyway. Betting that it was Jake she saw, I couldn't decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Victoria might have been the reason he couldn't get to me. But what if something happened? Vampires were more agile in the water than a wolf, and Jake would've been all alone, unless the pack had been tracking her.

"I'm not handing you over," she said, interrupting my thoughts. "_I_ am going to kill you. No one else will get the pleasure."

"Jake?" I asked, as slow as ever, and because it was all I could think about. Did she hurt him? I refused to believe she killed him. The thought alone made me want to vomit, as well as kill her.

She shook her head. "Nope, it's not the wolves."

My head was slow to catch up, and I shook it, trying to make sense of what was happening, what had happened. _Not the wolves._ I blinked rapidly, my eyes burning from salt water and the wind slapping into my face. So cold, my body grew numb and my teeth began to chatter. _Not the wolves. I am going to kill you._

She shook me to get my attention, still running. "You already have the wolves protecting you. How did you get a member from the Volturi Guard? And why would they protect or want you?"

"Huh?" I was so lost. I couldn't concentrate. My throat ached, my limbs felt almost non-existent, and my head was getting heavier. Then one word registered and chilled me to the bone faster than the sea did. _Volturi._

"The guard in the water," Victoria started. "He said, 'She's under the eye of the Volturi. _Release her_.'"

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_**Reviews are like best friends. They tell you the truth, but lovingly, done out of kindness and with kindness.**__ I'd be grateful for your thoughts._

_**Advocate Rec:**__ "Neverending Night" by Arianna-Janae. Edward & Bella, Post-BD_


	2. The Unknown Name

_**Thank you for the reviews. They mean a lot, and it's encouraging to hear you're intrigued. PTB Betas for this chapter: sweetishbubble and MrsDazzled. Thanks, ladies!  
**_

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_Chapter Two  
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**The Unknown Name**

**JACOB BLACK**

_No. No. NO! _I exploded. It helped very little since my legs—well, hind legs now—were broken. Sure, I heal fast but not _that_ fucking fast.

I howled as I painfully tried to swim toward Bella and the bitch.

_"Jake, we'll be right there!"_ I heard in my head. I then heard Seth's howl in the distance, calling for the others.

_"Hurry! I can't go anywhere! The red headed bitch has Bella out of the water and my ass is draggin'. That fuckin' leech made sure I landed on her stinky, marble ass when I hit the water."_

In my peripheral, I saw a head bob above the water and did a double take. The pain in my legs flew out of my mind as soon as I realized that it wasn't someone just swimming around—it was another fucking bloodsucker. He was about 75 yards away, looking straight at Bells and the bitch.

_"You guys recognize this leech?"_ I asked. Only Embry and Seth had phased so far.

_"Nope. We'll be there soon!"_

Then, the bloodsucker whispered in a commanding tone while smirking at the bitch. "She's under the eye of the Volturi. _Release her._"

Victoria ran.

I growled at him. _Good fuckin' job, you fucktwat._

_"Oh shit, he's lookin' at yah now," _thought Seth as he propelled himself past Embry.

This bloodsucker was actually scary. He was huge, as big as the largest Cullen, if not bigger. He had dark hair, a goofy, yet somehow still menacing smile, and he definitely was _not_ a veggie vamp. The leech had sharp, blood red eyes.

He swam over to me slowly and began to speak. "Hello, Jacob. I mean you no harm. I only need you to phase back so that I can carry you out of the water. Or perhaps you can call the others to help you?"

_"What the fuck?"_ the entire pack thought now that we were all phased.

I growled at him again. _If I wasn't hurt, he'd have already attended his funeral pyre._

"You're Ephraim Black's great-grandson and Billy Black's son, correct?"

I snarled this time and heard the echoing growls of the pack. _Who the fuck does this guy think he is? How in the hell does he know that about me?_

The pack was just getting to the cliff and jumping down into the water when he confounded us all. He spoke in our native language with his head bowed. _"Spirit warriors, I give you my word in the name of the great Chief and the first Spirit Man_—_Warrior Taha Aki, his third wife, Akane, and those who sent me here, that I mean you no harm and will protect you when I must." _

_Oh, shit. _I gaped at him and then phased back along with the others, except for Paul.

No one but the most trusted in the tribe knew the third wife's name. When Taha Aki left the tribe, he left that name to the tribe elders, along with specific instructions to use it as a safe word only. It was supposed to be used between the pack and someone we didn't really know. It was so we would know who we could trust. The name Akane was only said aloud during a couple ceremonies—not even uttered when the legends were told—and only the council elders were able to give it to someone to use.

We saw no need for it, really. But why give it to a bloodsucker?

I didn't trust the leech. I wanted to know how he got it, because that name being spoken was simply a prayer in complete reverence to the woman who saved her tribe. It could generate respect between us and the person who used it. Some would think the name means 'sanctuary' or that it was an homage to the woman in ceremonies, but the pack knew it was much, much more than that. Its power was close to the Alpha edict.

_Goddamn, how did he know that name?_

Not even Bella knew that name; while she had no need to, she would've been the only person we would've told, and she still knew nothing of it. I didn't recognize this bloodsucker's scent, so I knew he was never close enough to hear anyone say it during a ceremony. We hadn't had one for a while anyway.

Moreover, we had never had that name used _on us_ as a tribe before. _Shit._

I needed answers. I didn't trust fucking parasites.

"How do you know that name? Not only that but our language?" I asked forcefully.

At last, my legs were getting better. If this came to a fight, I wouldn't be completely handicapped.

The leech explained himself. "It is not my place to tell you. I was sworn to secrecy until I talk to the elders of tribe: Mr. Black, Mrs. Clearwater, and Mr. Ateara Sr.. The other vampire with me, Demetri, is probably already talking to them. He can actually track Isabella easily. You might want to send someone over there, and then they can relay that you are safe with me. We must hurry. We need to find Bella before that vampire kills her or maybe does worse."

_Jesus. What the fuck is going on?_

He was right though, we did need to get a move on. Bells was fucking family!

Sam turned to Seth. "Go. Find out what you can and let us know. We'll be ten miles south of the border. We'll come to you when you're ready. Stay phased."

Seth was already gone.

Sam turned to the bloodsucker. "If you're lying, holding even one little detail, and tricking us, you're even deader than you already are."

I could tell Sam wanted to add an offending name, but he really was trying to show the respect that the name Akane demanded.

_Damn._

"So, what's your name?" I asked begrudgingly.

"Felix," he replied. He even gave another bow. _Well, isn't this the Twilight Zone?_

"Felix," Sam said while studying him. "Please head south, but away from the beach. Stay in the forest. We will be beside and behind you. We _will_ phase. Keep a good distance from us. Though we will not harm you _yet,_ or maybe never, we do not trust you or your kind. Harm a human and you're gone."

Fe_leech_ nodded in acceptance. We surrounded him with a wide berth and phased. Sam placed an alpha order not to attack him until his command, on top of the power of the name. Paul and I were on the bloodsucker's left with Sam and Jared to his right. Quil and Embry were behind him. We all headed southeast.

Our minds were working overtime, mostly worrying about Bells, but everyone was also paying close attention to the big leech and his every move. We knew Leah was on the Rez, keeping watch, and she was now heading toward my house to meet up with Seth.

Five miles in, Sam interrupted everyone's thoughts. _"Jake, Jared, the two of you phase back when we get there. The rest of us will stay phased, just in case he does something stupid. You need to see if he'll tell us anything about knowing the name. Jake, he seems to know you and maybe that'll help him open up. I know you're all worried about Bella, but I don't want you going off by yourself looking for her yet. We don't know anything, and I don't want to split us up. There could be an attack waiting for us here or maybe the red head has help with her. We will not be going into that without as much info as we can get and the best chance of _all_ of us surviving. Yes, that includes Bella. That bitch might just kill her if we're not prepared when we go to get her back. As soon as Seth gives us the word, we will talk to the elders. I still don't trust this guy and I probably never will. No matter what the elders say. I know you guys have questions, but I don't have any answers to them. Stick together and we'll get Bella back soon enough. We will_ not_ give up until we find her._

_"Leah, stop growling at that . . . vampire; Billy and Old Quil are trying to talk to him. You do not attack him unless I give you the command." _

There weren't any arguments from Leah, even though she hated being ordered.

Sam barked and the big leech knew to stop. We formed a complete circle to surround him in order to watch each other's backs.

_Shit, I forgot about pants._ Looks like all of us except Embry didn't have pants on us.

_"Jared, you can have them. I'll be happy to show the leech real manhood."_ I laughed through my thoughts and didn't hear his comeback as I phased back.

"Okay. Sorry, don't have clothes on me—obviously and literally. Anyway, _Felix_," God, I can't even really say it with the hate I want. "What can you tell us? Let's start with why are you here. It seemed like you were watchin' Bella. Why?"

"Ah, I can tell you this stuff," he said with a grin and then lazily sat down.

_Jeez, he's comfortable around us. _

"My masters wanted me and Demetri to check on Bella—to watch her. It seems the _Cullens_," he sneered, "left her with our secret, and in our world, that is a huge no, no. Punishment is only death—for both parties involved. However, the Masters knew Carlisle and they wanted answers before doing something . . . permanent. We came to see what she did with the information."

"How long have you been watching her?" Jared asked.

"I haven't been watching her, though Demetri has for almost six months."

_I wonder why we never smelled the other leech . . . wait . . .  
_

"How did you ever find out about Bella and those . . . motherfuckers? They wouldn't have told you if they were goin' to get in trouble."

"No, the _Cullens_," he sneered that name again, "did not tell us and that will be used against them. We received the information from a close acquaintance of that coven and the person did not like Bella or the Quileute wolves."

I nodded._ We'll have to get back to that later. Someone wasn't only a traitor, but the person didn't like us._

"Why didn't you kill her? You said punishment was only death. Or at the very least, why didn't take her from us?" I asked with a raised eyebrow, daring him to lie.

"Because one of my masters was intrigued, and she was under your protection," he replied simply.

_Hmm . . . _

"Why were they intrigued?"

He took a sharp breath and seemed apprehensive.

_Ah, he didn't want to tell us all of it, but it looks like he will._

"They are intrigued for many reasons. One, because you protected her and we didn't know why. We know you protect humans, but you seemed to go out of your way with her. Two, she is human and can block Edward's gift. That is not only rare in the vampire world, but also unheard of with a human. Three, Master Aro wondered why they left her or did not change her."

They were growls all around. We all concluded that same thing: this Aro guy wanted her.

"So that's it? Your _master_, _Aro_, wants to use her!" I stood and began to shake.

"Honestly, yes and no. He does want her to join us, _but only if she agrees._ We cannot disrespect your tribe with those you protect, and given that you are not the ones who told her of our world, we cannot hold you responsible."

_Shit. I did pretty much tell her. I'm not admittin' that though. _

"How are you affiliated with our tribe and people?" I asked. "You know more than the average Quileute and respect us much more than any vamps we know." I wasn't really expecting an answer, but I thought I'd ask anyway.

"I am not at liberty to say. I am sorry, but that is for your elders to tell you and just how much. It is to their discretion who they tell and what to tell—especially when it is pertaining to your tribe and our agreement with them. It was an order from both sides of authority—your superiors _and_ mine. I do not know why. I take orders and the agreement was written that way. Therefore, I did not ask questions." He bowed his head to show his apologies.

_God, this is infuriatin' and complete lunacy! Why would elders make an agreement with _them_?_

"I heard you say the Volturi to Victoria. What is that or who is that?" I asked next. I had an idea, but I didn't want to get Bells in trouble by telling us.

"It is the vampire justice and peace system. It is similar to the government. We enforce our one important law: do not expose our kind in any way by telling someone, showing our abilities and weaknesses, or drawing attention with the deaths from feeding. Vampires cannot do _anything_ to show humans that we exist."

"What do you plan on doing when we find Bella?" I was extremely worried about this issue. We'd find her alive; I didn't want to think about if we didn't, and I had to know what they planned to do to her.

"We will not harm any of you, especially Bella. She has options and we will ask her to decide what she wants. Our masters have wanted to meet her and that is an option. If she agrees and comes to visit, I know that if your elders allow it you are welcome to accompany her. I can promise you that no harm will come to her by us, particularly there. She will have even more protection."

"And where is that?" I inquired. I was pretty sure Bella had said Italy.

"Italy."

Sam barked twice and pointed his nose toward home.

Jared phased for twenty seconds and then phased back. "We're going home. He's coming with us . . . onto the Rez."

_Well, this should be interesting,_ I mused.

"Let's go." I phased and the pack resumed formation around the big, smelly leech and guided him to our home. Seth and Leah had already phased back, so they couldn't tell us anything inadvertently.

_"We're going to the tribe summit,"_ announced Sam.

_Wow! Leeches to the tribal meeting place is unheard of_—_a definite first. Okay . . . maybe not._ The bloodsucker seemed to know where he was going by taking the long way around the Rez and houses to the tribe summit. The day was getting even more bizarre and I couldn't wait until we could get on the road and find Bella. She was probably being tortured! I was getting even more agitated to leave.

Sam glanced at me. _"Don't worry Jake, we'll get her back."_

We arrived at the top of summit. Everyone else was sitting around the dead bonfire. My dad, Sue, and Old Quil were sitting next to each other on folding chairs. Parked to the right of his mom was Seth. Leah was standing away from everyone, shaking on the opposite side of the bloodsucker, Demetri, and glaring at him.

I noted that he had no smell, which was both disconcerting and interesting. Even more interesting was that he and the elders looked somewhat comfortable, or at least familiar with each other, because they were talking to one another softly. _Jesus._

We all ran up and grabbed a pair of pants, while keeping an eye on the new bloodsucker that _Feleech_ was now sitting next to. The new, good-looking leech was in a submissive position—head bowed down lowly and his hands up with palms forward. The pack wanted to turn around to put our pants on to respect the ladies present, but we didn't turn our backs toward an enemy. Sue and Leah would have to forgive us.

We phased, dressed, and all took a seat. I took the seat closest to the bloodsuckers, in between them and my dad. No fucking way was I leaving my dad wide open like that. I sat as far away from dad as I could, but still far enough away from the parasites to be comfortable. I didn't want to hurt my dad and I didn't mind phasing on top of the bloodsuckers.

Just as I sat down, I thought of something.

I turned to Feleech and tried to word it so that I wouldn't give anything I knew away. He'd have to tell me more than he already did, as well. "You said earlier that Bella will be even more protected in Italy than here. Why did you say that? Why does she have such importance to all of you, other than her supposed 'blocking' of Edward? Don't get me wrong, I'll tell her not to go, but she's stubborn. If she wants to go, she will. I'm grateful she'll be heavily protected and we can accompany her, but I want to know. You made it seem like she's the most important person to everyone there."

Feleech and the other bloodsucker looked at each other. They both nodded.

Feleech answered, "One of our masters believe that she is one of his descendants. He likes to keep track of them and check on them every century. He is confident they are related, and that in itself makes her more important than any of The Guard to the Masters; especially if she decides she wants to become one of us. She intrigues one master and is related to another—nothing will happen to her if we have any say in it." He actually looked proud and determined.

We were speechless, especially me. _What the hell do you say to that?  
_

Then the other said, "Bella is important to our Masters, therefore important to us. I should also explain that I could only track someone if I have met the person before. Victoria did not return to Washington after you killed Laurent—that is, until this afternoon. Victoria's scent was faint and all over the place, yet that is not how I track. I am usually the one that watches over Bella because I can get close enough without detection. However, late this morning I ran into three newborn vampires, and they were scouting this area for Victoria. It seems she has at least a dozen more and they move from place to place. Felix could only watch Bella from afar; therefore, the situation she is in now could not be helped by any of us.

"I called for reinforcements. Fourteen total, plus us. I have already discussed this with your elders. We will assess the danger and only bring what is needed to rescue Bella and capture Victoria. There is no need to draw unwanted attention to Washington, or wherever we are going, which is currently north. I assumed some of you would want to come, which can be discussed later among yourselves. You wanted answers from your elders, you are about to get some."

My dad started, "You all know nothing leaves this meeting." He looked around and we all nodded.

"Let me introduce you to Taha Aki, the first Spirit Man, also known as the Great Wolf."

Demetri and Feleech stood up slowly and bowed their heads.

The rest of us_ . . . uh . . . holy fuckin' shit._

* * *

_**Reviews are "oh, shit" moments. They're the best.  
**_

_Akane — the pronunciation is an é at the end. Like touché, A-ka-né._

**Reference:** Taha Aki and the third wife legend _—_ Eclipse, pages 244-259, hardcover. The relevant tidbit: _"Taha Aki never rejoined the tribe. He never changed back to man again. He lay for one day beside the body of the thirds wife, growling whenever anyone tried to touch her, and then he went into the forest and never returned."_ (Eclipse, page 258, hardcover) More about the Quileute legends will be in the next chapter.


	3. Legends

_**Thank you, reviewers! You make a writer's day.** **Chapter Three PTB Betas: the lovely remylebeauishot and amazing Dinx.  
**_

_**WARNING: **Mentions acts of violence as torture.  
_

* * *

_Chapter Three  
_

**Legends**

**JACOB BLACK**

Not only were my eyes bugging and my mouth hanging open, but my balls were sucked up into my body cavity as well. The man was . . . glorious, intimidating, and awe-inspiring. He was also frightening. I think all of us were debating whether to pull on our empty nut sacs and hide behind them, or to use them as a flag while screaming, "Pick me. Pick me." I knew it was a dumb thought, but that was how it felt. You could tell just by being in his presence that not only should you fear him, because he was more than a bear of a man, but you'd never want to anger or disappoint him either. There was something else about him, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Taha Aki was gazing at us, and I didn't know if I should look down or hold his stare. I went with holding. He screamed "alpha" and "man" with his stance and the air radiating around him.

_Hmm, I wonder what he looks like phased. _

I finally closed my mouth, getting a real good look at him. Taha Aki was only slightly taller than most of us—by a couple inches—but damn, he had more than twice the muscle mass of I did. He had the same russet tan and dark hair of our people. His eyes were a light gray-blue, like those of Alaskan huskies, and there was something interesting about his skin; almost as if he'd had spirals tattooed all over. The color was only shades lighter than his skin tone, and surprisingly, it actually added to his appearance, making him even more enthralling.

I was still looking at him, and it seemed as though he was searching for something. I wondered what he was waiting for. _Did he expect us to bow?_ I glanced around. _Nope, the vamps did that as a greeting. _

My lips twitched and his gaze snapped to me.

I grinned. _Just as I thought_—_those eyes miss nothing. _

He laughed. "I hope . . . you warriors . . . shut your traps . . . when you run. We are not dogs! I do not want to see a tongue hanging out."

Of course, I had to open my mouth. "Well, Bella did get us these dog tags." I pulled on the leather cord that held them. "She's the only one you'll have problems convincing. She already told us our drool flings all over the place when she rides."

All of it was true, and a big reminder to speed this up.

As though he read my mind, he sighed and got on with it. "Warriors, I know this is a great surprise to you. That it is puzzling as to why a vampire would know the name of peace. You know the Quileute legends, though some, the _most important_ ones, you have not heard. These legends are only passed in a testament, a will of sorts, from Chief to Chief. They date back to the first Spirit Warrior.

"Now, as I'm sure you've noted, I call you Warriors, when you are Spirit Men or Spirit Wolves. I see you as Warriors still. You protect our tribe—if not all of Forks—not only in Spirit and with the strongest of hearts, but also in body."

Taha Aki began pacing back and forth while he gazed down, almost as though he were ashamed. "You have been told the history of the Quileute up until Kaheleha. If you remember, you had been told it was unknown who first discovered this power or even how it had been used."

He stopped and looked at all of us. "We did not _discover_ it. It was a witch, who later became a vampire, and empowered us. In short, this power was meant to be a curse on our Spirits—a curse to wander the earth for eternity. Yet, that is a lengthy legend all on its own. Decades later, another legend was recorded about vampire brothers that had taken Spirit Warriors' bodies while their Spirits were on patrol; taking along the wives who watched over them as well. We had become a magical people, and it fascinated these vampires, who believed it to be a myth until they saw it with their own eyes. Their goal was to study the Warriors' genetic makeup and have the women birth their sons."

Ferocious growls ripped throughout the circle.

_That's wrong on so many levels, but was it even possible? What did that make then?_ I tried to tell myself not to phase, but this was the hardest it had ever been. I felt the most ferocious anger and an overwhelming amount of vengeance. If Bells weren't on the line, I'd already be on my way looking for these bloodsuckers.

Taha Aki continued to explain. "No, they did not succeed. Vampires cannot bear children, yet they had hoped with our genes and magic that they could. They came twice every century to take some of the Quileute. We were defenseless against them because we were not as we are now, as wolves.

"Now, with modern technology, we know humans have twenty-three chromosomes, vampires have twenty-five, and _only_ those whom phase have twenty-four. So you see . . . what they believed can be even more probable than just a possibility . . ." He his eyes settled on Leah, who was crying from anger and trying her hardest not to phase. ". . . because the women they had captured had never phased before."

Leah looked at him. I guess she hadn't caught that or even want to think about it.

Taha Aki smiled softly at Leah and lowered his head. "I am here to protect you. We do not know if the Romanians know, but they might. And I, along with the Volturi, only want to protect you—not harm you. I know you do not trust them, but I do. I work _with_ them."

My eyes widened; I was startled to hear that, and so was the rest of the pack.

Taha Aki chuckled, as though he were expecting that reaction. "I will tell you why. After I left the tribe, I was captured by two of the strongest vampires the Romanians had. One had brute strength, and the other had a gift that left me disabled. The Romanians studied me and . . . did more things than I would ever utter, for they had never seen the likes of me. It was the brute vampire who told me all of this while I was held captive. He and I befriended each other.

"When the Volturi ousted the Romanians, a Volturi guard recognized his blood brother, but that newfound brother would not leave me behind to get slaughtered. One of the Kings went to great lengths to eliminate werewolves, and my friend did not trust him to let me live—even if I am not one of the Children of the Moon. It was an uphill battle for all of us, at times, to trust and be loyal to one another. We _are_ enemies in the supernatural world."

Taha Aki and the bloodsuckers smiled at each other, each gave a hearty chuckle and shook of their heads.

"Please, do not think I work with them as a debt; I work with them because we are friends. They have helped me keep as many vampires as I can out of Washington, to keep my tribe safe. And, because I like destroying the vampires I can, I help my friends and brothers when it is needed.

"So, let me introduce you to two of my best friends and brothers, whom are also my rescuers. This is Felix, the aforementioned brute." Taha Aki grinned at him before walking over and putting his hand on the other one's shoulder. "And, this is his blood brother, Demetri."

Taha Aki looked at us, probably waiting for an outburst. The pack was silent, having no idea what to say or where to start.

The leech, Demetri, broke the stunned silence. "We do not expect you to trust us. Trust is to be earned, and we hope to _earn_ yours in time."

He looked at Leah, who was breathing hard from emotion. "I will protect you with my life. I may be a vampire, but you are descendents of Aki, and he is our brother. We risk it all for each other, and that is why we are here. There are two women important to this pack and tribe. Believe it or not, you are one. Can you imagine the torture your pack would live through if you were captured, especially with the mind link? Can you imagine the pain our brother, Aki, would suffer if you were captured—for him to know you will experience what he has endured already? We may not trust you all completely, but we trust our brother and your ancestor, Taha Aki."

Then the bloodsucker put his hand over his heart. "Believe me when I say, he has done what he can to keep you safe. No one in the Volturi will hunt in Washington or harm and experiment with you if we can help it." He looked at Taha Aki, smiled, and gave him a nod.

Taha Aki clapped his shoulder before looking at us. "We will have more time to talk. The three of us are going to go check the surrounding areas and see if Victoria has more vampires with her. I hope that we will get an idea of where she has taken Isabella. I suggest you eat and rest as much as possible. Those of you who are coming with us will meet in four hours on the northern edge of the Rez, by the mouth of the strait. We will get her back."

He walked over to my dad, who raised his hand. It looked like Taha Aki was going kiss it, but he grabbed the tips of my dad's fingers, then pulled the knuckles and back of the fingers to his forehead. He did the same with Old Quil and Sue.

_Why the hell did he do that?_

I'm sure we all had a perplexed look on our faces because he answered, "I may be older than them, but that is the old way of showing respect to an Elder. Any power I may have had as Chief of the tribe was relinquished to them before all of you were even born. If the Elders do not mind, I would like to speak with Sam and Jake."

"Of course," my dad replied and looked at us. "Sam, Jake, do you mind?"

We stood up, and the vamps bowed to the council and everyone else.

_God, this is so fuckin' weird._

Sam and I followed Taha Aki and the two vamps. I admit, I had more respect for them, but I still didn't trust them. And, I was still confused about what to feel for Taha Aki.

We walked far enough away so we wouldn't be overheard, even though the pack would have known as soon as we phased.

Taha Aki smiled at Sam and me. "I apologize. It is a great pleasure to meet you both, and I hope we will get the chance to get to know each other in the near future. We need to get going so we can get Isabella back. I know how a vampire tortures their victims, and the sooner we leave the better. I know you do not want to hear this, but Victoria will prolong death to enjoy torturing her. It is in a vampire's nature to do so in vengeance for their mate. Isabella could go through many things that . . ." he paused briefly ". . . that include being raped, sodomized, branded, bitten and bled, all on top of being beaten to the inch of her life. Not to mention the psychological torture."

_Oh God, I'm dying to get my hands on Victoria and get Bells back._ Sam looked as angry and sick as I did. Our forms shook, and I felt heat ripple down my spine.

_Don't phase. Don't phase_, I chanted to myself.

Taha Aki gave us a sad smile. "I know. It is not a pretty picture, and that is why I want you to prepare yourselves. Warn the others as well. I also suggest that Isabella comes back to Italy with us."

I was already shaking my head.

Taha Aki put his hand up in defense. "You are welcome to accompany us, yet I know you do not want to leave the tribe vulnerable. However, Isabella will be bitten for sure, and that might have an effect on her. Vampires usually inject venom to torture their victims with the burning sensation, and then suck as much as they can out so they do not to induce the change. That does not mean all the venom will be removed, and if Isabella has a gift, that gift will make itself known. We do not know what other side effects it will have on her either. Thus, it would be wise for her come with us, and we can get a doctor that will not ask questions.

"I also suggest that it be Leah and Jake that accompany Isabella. Leah will be even more protected in Italy. The Romanians know where you reside; it would be to Leah's advantage, and even to the tribe's advantage, not to be here. At the very least, leave for a little while."

_God, he made more than enough sense, but could any of us do that?_

"Think it over," Taha Aki said. "Here is my number as well as Demetri's and Felix's. Sam, my presence here does not mean I am the Alpha, but I would like to lead this rescue, if I may. I have worked with the vampires and watched the pack; I feel that is extremely beneficial for us if we work together, and it gives Bella a greater chance. Furthermore, no one is to kill Victoria—we want her. The Kings want as much information they can get from her and we can get that. She will pay for what she has done to Bella, and if any of you accompany us to Italy, I will speak to the Kings about allowing you to help.

"I want you to know that I recognize you as Alpha of this pack, Sam, but I do not take orders from anyone. Though I _will_ take any suggestions to heart, and I hope you will mine," he finished sincerely.

Sam nodded. "Thank you. Yes, it makes sense for you to lead this rescue. We will figure out who is going, and we will eat and meet you there. I know the pack will not sleep with Bella gone—we worry greatly. She has standing with us, much like Sue as an Elder. Bella is like our mother, sister, and friend in one, and we love her more for it. I'm asking that if you can all leave earlier, please do.

"We will wait to see the condition Bella's in, and if she can make a choice to go with you. As for Victoria, I will talk to the pack, but I can tell you now that we will want to _see_ her destroyed. The rest, we will talk as a pack, and most of it is based on what Leah and Bella decide. I will not order Leah on this, as it is her choice to go with you. Thank you again. I hope we can all talk soon, too." Sam bowed his head as he finished. "We'll call you if we have any problems."

Then, his head snapped up. "Oh, may I ask where the guards are hunting?"

The three grinned. "They use donated blood while they are in Washington. That is what everyone could agree on."

Sam was probably feeling at war with himself, as I was about everything that was being discussed, but the blood part . . . that was more than we could have expected from them.

_Poor Sam,_ I thought. He was probably wondering why the rest of the council hadn't told him everything we had just learned.

As they walked away, Demetri added, "Our phones will be off because we do not want to alert anyone we are on their tail, but please just leave a message. We will check them periodically and get back to you as soon as we can."

I could feel Taha Aki shifting. _I guess I'll have to wait to see him in wolf form. Damn._

When we got back to the group, everyone was talking quietly. Well, except for Leah, who was staring at nothing and clearly thinking hard.

Sam called Emily and asked her and the women to bring us food to cook. He suggested we talk while eating. While we waited, everyone was obviously processing all that happened and just staring into the fire Embry started.

The women came and were obviously worried. We didn't have a meeting scheduled, and the pack was unusually quiet.

We all grabbed our food solemnly.

My dad cleared his throat. "Alright, in a way, we are sorry we didn't tell you. Not only are you questioning us, but you're also probably thinking you would be on your way to helping Bella if we had just told you a long time ago. You should know you're waiting because we need more guards to help with the rescue, and some of you have to stay to guard the Rez."

He paused and looked around. There were no arguments from any of us.

My dad sighed and seemed, not exactly ashamed, but sad. "We didn't tell you because it wasn't wise to. If we had told you, you might have gone searching for the Romanians and every vampire you could come across. We know that because half of a previous pack was recorded to have done just that. Most of them died from other vampires. Only two returned, and they had no luck finding the Romanians.

"The Volturi do not attack anyone without cause, and they believed the Romanians were no longer a threat. Although they wanted to keep an eye on them, to check if they gave any indication they knew Leah had shifted, the problem is they've disappeared. The Volturi, along with Taha Aki, have just begun searching for them.

"You need to understand very few people know about Taha Aki—what and who he is, and that he works with the Volturi. It's so that no one comes looking here. We keep their secret, and they do the same with us."

My dad rubbed his face. "You are the first pack to _not_ know because we cannot give an edict to keep you here. Taha Aki does not command, and he doesn't even know if it would work anyway. Now . . . now, you all want Bella back, and you will stay here to make sure of it. I'm not just talking about you either, but Taha Aki and the vampires as well. They've been watching, and they already respect and care for her. I suggest we focus on getting Bella back first."

The women gasped, looking around for someone to tell them what was happening. They were already shocked about Taha Aki; this had to be confusing and unbelievable as fuck.

My dad continued. "Afterward, we'll tell you more about the legends and Taha Aki. Sam?"

Everyone looked to Sam, waiting for his answer. He knew each of us wanted to go and get Bells back, but that wasn't possible. We never left the Rez unprotected.

He started by telling the women that they would get an update soon, but some of the pack needed to get ready first.

Emily wouldn't stand for it. "Can you tell us who has her at least? Was it Victoria or somebody else? Another vampire? The Cullens?"

Sam hugged Emily and softly answered, "Victoria."

"No, no, why are you waiting? Oh, never mind, I heard. I . . . just . . . please, get her back." Emily was motioning for us to continue, knowing we needed to start planning. She really loved Bells. They had gotten closer over the past year, and they truly thought of each other as sisters.

Sam told everyone what we were to expect with Bella, how the Volturi wanted Victoria, and the suggestions Taha Aki gave. The women were disturbed and sobbing, of course. I did want to cry a little. Paul had already phased from anger and disbelief.

Sam continued to barrel through. "We can talk about who's going to Italy, if you even are. Leah, let me know. It is your choice, but we do want you to stay." She scoffed and rolled her eyes, but she nodded.

"Alright, Jake, Jared, and Leah go to rescue Bella. You'll bug me, Jake, if you don't go. Jared, you can keep a level head and, next to Jake and Paul, you're the best fighter. Leah, you can fight, and I trust that Taha Aki will keep you from harm. This way you can get to know him and make a better choice on Italy. I ask that one of you stay phased at all times. But, they might be taking a vehicle for Bella, so call to let us know if you can't. Jake, Jared, if you want to wash the ocean off before you leave, go. Meet us at my house."

******= IIVIII = **

As I showering, I couldn't get my mind to stop going through everything that had happened today. Thoughts of what we might see when we found Bella, and the condition she could be in overwhelmed me. I thought of the possibility of the Volturi proving that they were, in fact, trustworthy, and how many things would change. Of course, I also thought of what might happen if we were to start trusting them, but were ultimately betrayed. Taha Aki and all that he'd been through while he was captive ran rampant through my mind. And of course, the endless questions I had, mostly revolving around the Cullens and our legends, wouldn't stop coming to mind either. It was an onslaught of thoughts and possibilities.

I got dressed and just put my mind on Bella. _We'll get her back_, I silently told myself over and over.

I ran over to Emily and Sam's place. Only Leah and Jared were here, and we looked around for the others.

Sam came out, carrying three knapsacks as he explained. "They're either running patrols or cleaning up. Everyone needs to shift through everything they've learned."

He pointed to each knapsack in turn, telling us what was inside. "This has clothes for Bella and a blanket. Clothes for you and another blanket. A First Aid kit, cash, a cell phone programmed with the new numbers, a couple lighters and some things for Bells on the trip back."

He looked at us. "Be safe and careful, guys. Stick together. Listen to Taha Aki and be respectful. When in doubt, look to Jake. Jake, watch Taha Aki, I'm sure you'll learn a lot. Just bring Bella home. Don't worry about Charlie. Emily's talking to him about a sleepover, and we'll keep a watch on him. Have fun killing some vamps," he finished with a smile, but you could tell he was still worried.

We grabbed the sacks, tied them on the leg opposite of our pants, and phased to run to the place we were meeting up. We waited and talked about the things we learned and all the questions we had for an hour and half.

"You're considering it, aren't you?" I asked Leah.

"Yes, I am. Aren't you all glad?" she asked with a sneer. "But I don't really know what to do. I want to go. I don't want to keep phasing and not aging while watching Sam and Emily. I also don't want to leave, because what if the Romanians come here? It seems unlikely if they haven't already, but I do want to help if it comes to that. I'll see how this goes, and then I'll see what the tribe decides to do," she ended softly.

I responded sincerely, "We don't want you to go Leah. You know we don't want anything to happen to you, but we understand if you don't want to stay." She didn't answer and we stayed silent afterward, each of us lost in our thoughts.

An hour early Taha Aki and Feleech stepped out of the woods.

They were grubby, so I guessed we were running, which I'd rather do than be stuck in a car with a bloodsucker.

Taha Aki nodded to each of us. "Hello, Jake. Jared. Leah. We need to swim across the Strait to Vancouver Island. We will run northeast to cross the Strait of Georgia, bypassing Vancouver, and then continue running north. It appears that Victoria knows we are coming for her and is just trying to get somewhere with Isabella. So far, it looks like the northern mountains. The rest of The Guard is already ahead scouting, and we will be running for at least a day and a half to catch up. Follow us, and please keep Leah between the two of you."

Taha Aki and Feleech turned around so Leah could undress and phase. Jared and I just undressed and phased with Leah.

I felt the air shimmer around me and quickly looked in Taha Aki's direction. I almost peed as I saw him in wolf form. The three of us actually sat our asses down from the authority that radiated out of his enormous form. He was a beautiful and scary son of bitch. He was larger than any one of us in the pack, with the lightest gray, almost white fur—but again, it was different like his skin. _Jesus, what is that?_ The air around him seemed to thicken with power, warning anyone who came close not to fuck with him. Being phased seemed to make his position in the tribe and pack even more acute. I wondered if we'd have a mind connection.

_"Jake?"_ I suddenly heard in my head.

_Wow, we do!_ the three of us marveled. But it was weird that we had never heard him before, especially if he was watching us—you couldn't forget that voice.

Taha Aki glanced at Feleech. _"Jake?"_

I wondered why we couldn't read his memory.

_"Yeah?"_ I asked.

Taha Aki's head cocked to the side. _"It seems the others cannot hear me."_

_"Jared? Leah? You don't hear Taha Aki at all?"_

Jared answered, _"Not directly, bro. Only what he's saying to you, but that's simply through the bond for us."_

_"Yeah,"_ agreed Leah._ "It sounds kind of like an echo, almost like a memory from you, but . . . not."_

I looked at Taha Aki. _"Sir?"_

_"Yes, Jake?"_

_"You didn't hear any of that?" _I asked him.

_"No. What is it?"_

_"You're right, they can't hear you," _I confirmed._ "Not directly. They only hear you through me because of the link. They describe it like a memory. Can I ask what you get from me? Anything like that? Can you read my memory of them describing what it was like?"_

_"No, I do not have access to your memory, not until you asked, and only then, was it a beat, like an impression. I heard their voices then, yet it was like on the other side of a long tunnel_, _and it was only when you mentioned it. Does that make sense?"_ Taha Aki asked.

I nodded. _"Yeah, they described it like that. They said that hearing you speak to me was like an echo, similar to a memory from me, but not."_

_"Well, this is actually better than anything I hoped for. I did not think I would hear any of you at all. There has never been more than one pack, or someone outside of it. __This is a first for me as well. Let us head out. We will fiddle with it while we are on our way."_ Taha turned around and looked at us over his shoulder.

I looked at Jared and Leah. _"Got that guys?"_

_"Yep,"_ they answered.

"Follow us, Warriors," said Feleech.

******= IIVIII = **

It took us about two hours just to get to the mainland of British Columbia. We continued to run north, and every once and a while, Feleech would get an update on the other vamps. We learned that there were at least eight with Victoria, but The Guard had caught more scents in the surrounding areas. So, all fourteen vamps were coming to help with the rescue.

We discovered that Taha Aki could only hear and talk to me and Sam, figuring it had to with being an Alpha. And, it was only what one of us wanted the other to hear.

We stopped three times to eat, and Feleech had a blood bag. He told us there was absolutely no appeal to our blood. It smelled disgusting to him. He also explained why we needed to prepare ourselves for an adverse reaction from the vampires, and insisted that we not to be offended or alarmed by their reactions. It was similar to our aversion to them—the natural reaction of fight or flight. Most were used to Taha Aki, but they knew him, and that took years.

They also gave us pointers on how to fight the newborns.

We were lucky to have traveled through most of the cities the first night, and after twenty hours we were only about two from where they believed Bella was being held. Demetri said she was on the southwest side of what they called the Northern Rocky Mountain Provincial Park. We were in another forest south and downwind, waiting for the last four vampires, when I was hit with a scent I hadn't smelled in a year. We all turned in that direction.

_Why the fuck is a Cullen here?_

* * *

**_Reviews tell stories all on their own. Before you read it Caius's, leave me one? _  
**

_**Reference: **Quileute's legends and characters — Eclipse, pages 244-259, hardcover. Kaheleha, page 245._

**_Advocate Rec: "_**_Family Ties and Guarding Hearts" by kas90. Edward & Bella, AH._**  
**


	4. Depravity

**_Thank you for all the support. Nothing warms a writer's heart more. __Love to HollettLA and DreaC from PTB for editing this chapter. __The name "God of War" was created by IdreamofEddy, by the way. Not by me. Be sure to check the author out if you haven't already._**

_**WARNING: **contains disturbing images of torture  
_

* * *

_— "Wars" by Hurt —  
_

* * *

_Chapter Four  
_

**Depravity**

**CAIUS VOLTURI**

I inwardly smirked. _This trip is getting better and better_.

And no, I was not being sarcastic; I had never been. I was merely excited, but even this was rare.

I had been resolute to take leave from Volterra, even if I had only left twice in 1,200 years. Time was never the same when one became immortal and we Kings—I regarded us more as Judges—had rarely ever seen a justifiable purpose to make a trip or a reason to accompany the guards, given that it could be dangerous and create a liability. Moreover, the majority of times we had already known how the "situation" was to be . . . _executed_.

The times one of us had accompanied The Guard was mainly to embed more fear in those we were going to confront, and to create an example and spectacle of them. Aro loved dramatics, and it had proven useful. Our attendance caused word to spread that no one scared us, that we were just as ruthless as the guards were. It was also a nice reminder that we, the Judges, made the choices.

Sometimes, our only motive was to ensure the survival of someone we were interested in, which made vampires even more careful in bringing attention to themselves. Still, the need to leave was few and far between.

Of course, there were times it was just for personal and educational pursuits.

And for this expedition, all of the above was the case. There was no excuse _not_ to attend.

The leading purpose was to see and aid my most trusted friends. Demetri and Aki were in need, and though I saw them the year before, it had become dull in Volterra without them. They had a similar view of the world as me, though not to the same degree, and they had proven their loyalty. I normally did not like people, I borderline hated them. It took more than decades and comparable interests for me to have a good opinion of someone. Yet, Demetri and Aki were steadfast in proving their worth as men and friends.

There was no question of my safety when those two were near, either.

Although secondary, it was important to me to see the Quileute wolves. I had a vendetta against the werewolves, and even though I knew _these_ wolves were not the Children of the Moon, I had only heard from Aki what the pack was like, and it was only what he could remember from his days. So, I needed to see the pack with my own eyes. And, in my opinion, the Quileute wolves were as equally dangerous as werewolves, if not more so, to a vampire.

Another reason to attend was that we were finally picking up the Denali coven and the_ Cullens_. It would shock everyone that we were going after "friends" and show that no one was above the law. It was an even greater example. Even though some might speculate it was because of their dietary choices, it most certainly was not. Most of us could actually respect their choice, and even a few admired it.

Bottom line, it was a _choice_—one I would not take from them.

What I actually hated was the condescending and judgmental mentality the majority of the Cullens had because of their abstaining diet. And to find they left a human with the knowledge of our existence! Not only was it dangerous and against the law, but it was cruel to leave one with such awareness, to neither kill nor change the individual.

Carlisle was lucky we were partial to him since he had lived with us for decades. We would have just finished them and gone home when we first received word of it, but because he was a friend, we gave him the time to come clean.

Well, we all had our reasons, really. Most of that family fascinated Aro. Marcus was particularly close to Carlisle.

And I . . . I saw so much of my old self in him.

I was much like Carlisle in my human life, ever compassionate and forgiving. I had faith and believed in the value of the world and the universe, along with the people in it. I had enjoyed the little things, had always seen the positive aspect, no matter the circumstances. I had treasured life and the thought of just living or being. Even so, when you had lived as long as I had, and had seen the things that people could and _would do_ for personal gain, your hope and soul would have diminished—just as mine had. You would have nothing but utter contempt for those around you, including yourself.

Everyone has done things that have caused regret, but we vampires were referred to as monsters—when we were not the only guilty ones! Life had become a battle of hypocrites, a game to see who could be better or, in some cases, worse.

I was just angry with people in general. I learned long ago not to care, because it was useless. I was tired of this miserable existence and bitter of having lost my naïveté.

Who was I to tell Carlisle to be the wiser? It was too little, too late.

And I envied, yet pitied him.

Now here I was, having a good day with my best friends and our companions. We were about to chat with not only a Cullen member, but the God of War himself.

As I said, the day was getting better and better.

I put my hand up for silence. He hadn't noticed us yet.

He was running, quietly speaking at vampire speed to someone on his cell phone. "—ctoria's trail. I'm headed towards the south end of the Park. I'm tryin' figure out how many there are, 'cause I smell at least five, but Bella's scent is gettin' stronger. I'll stay dow—" He stopped in his tracks.

_"Br_—_." _The God of War closed his phone.

For a moment, everyone was silent and the air stilled.

Then we heard the shuffling of grass and it sounded as if he sat down.

"Sam?" he called out.

I cautiously walked towards the edge of the forest with Demetri and Aki, who was in human form, by my side. The others flanked us a good distance back to hide our number. The God of War was sitting with legs crossed and hands up.

_Priceless,_ I thought. I could not stop my lips from twitching.

Jasper was projecting calm with his own feelings of apprehension and curiosity.

His eyes widened when he saw us.

"Caius?" he asked, incredulous.

Though he was shocked to see me, I knew by the name he called out just before, that he discerned the wolves were here.

"Jasper Whitlock," I stated slowly with narrowed eyes. "What are you doing here? Answer quickly. We have neither the time nor the patience."

He had no idea he was still projecting. He was certainly surprised and even more curious.

He shook his head and answered with his usual southern twang, "I originally came to this area lookin' for my wife and brother. Durin' a huntin' trip three days ago my wife had a vision. She went to stop my brother, Edward, fr—"

There was growling from the wolves and a hiss from Demetri.

_Interesting, _I reflected as I stole a glance at Demetri.

Jasper continued. "Edward was goin' to Italy to ask for death. They haven't returned, and it appears they have continued east. Less than ten minutes ago I caught a couple scents that were familiar to me—Victoria a—"

There was more growling, and not just from the wolves.

Jasper's eyes widened and he finished quickly, "— and Bella. I came to investigate. We had believed Bella had been dead since the end of February."

I studied him with a scowl. I believed him, but I was still suspicious and wary. It was a great coincidence—him being in this area at the same time as we were. He may be in my good graces, but I was unsure on how to proceed. He could help us; he seemed willing, and that would work in his favor when we returned to Volterra. Yet, we would have to keep an eye on him, and we had enough to do.

On the other hand, if he really wanted to, he could debilitate us with his gift.

Jasper's phone had been ringing consistently, and an idea came to mind. _Let us see who had been calling him._

I jutted my chin toward his pocket. "Answer your phone. Tell whoever it is that you are okay and that you will call them later. When you are finished, throw it to me."

He moved slowly and answered without looking at screen.

A female began speaking, frenzied and panicked. _"Jazz! Are you okay? Your future just disappeared along with the family's. What's going on?"_

I knew he was talking to a male earlier, meaning this caller was someone else.

Jasper's eyes narrowed. "Alice? Yeah, I'm fine. So, you saw me lookin' for you and you only call now? Where are _you_?"

_Ah, it is his wife. _Though I had never met her, I recognized her name.

His wife answered, _"Uh, Forks."_

Everyone shook their heads because we had just come from Forks. The wolves would have told us as well.

Jasper's eyebrows shot up. "I thought you were in Vancouver."

We all just shook our heads again, and the God of War began getting more angry and suspicious.

_"You okay, Jazz?"_ his wife probed.

I raised an eyebrow. _Time to say goodbye, Jasper._

"I am. Look, I gotta go. You should head home. The family has something to talk ab—" He looked at his phone. The call was disconnected.

_Hmm . . . looks like we can believe his story. We shall wait and see._

Jasper closed it, and then tossed it to me. I opened the phone; the call from his wife was from an unknown number.

His phone started ringing again as I tried to think of other ways to verify his entire story. _It is shame that I do not know Edward or Alice's scents. Wait . . .  
_

"Where can we find their scents?" I asked him quickly.

"Ten minutes northeast. Follow my scent, and you'll find it."

I nodded once to Aki. The wolves could confirm if it was indeed Edward and Alice. Aki took off his pants and phased.

"Holy shit." Jasper looked stunned, utterly in awe of the otherworldly sight that was Taha Aki.

The wolves left to find the scents to confirm his story, with Felix and three more guards accompanying them.

I looked down at the phone because there was already another call.

_Ooh, Carlisle is calling. _I opened the phone.

"Son, are you all right?" he asked.

"Hello, Carlisle. This is Caius. What makes you think Jasper is not all right?" I heard gasps in the background and a woman growling.

"Hello, Caius." Carlisle sounded confused, but answered quickly. "Uh, Jasper abruptly hung up on his brother while he was following a scent. We just wanted to ensure he wasn't hurt. Is he all right?"

I shook my head in disbelief. "You doubt him. The God of War can take care of himself better than anyone can, you know. He told me some details. Tell me how many days ago his wife and brother left, along with the name_s_ that belong with the scent_s_."

There were two. I knew that he knew that. There were two women growling now on the other end.

"Oh, uh, Alice followed Edward almost three days ago. Jasper and his brother, Emmett, are supposed to find them and help Alice bring Edward back. The scents belong to Victoria an—"

Again, there was more growling, but from both sides.

Carlisle paused and then finished in a pained voice, "— and Bella, whom we believed was dead. Please, tell me about Jasper."

I could not help rolling my eyes this time. "Do not worry. The God of War has not been harmed nor will he be by any of us. Say hello, Jasper."

"I'm fine, Carlisle," Jasper said firmly, rolling his eyes as well.

"Now, Carlisle, you and the rest of your family will take a flight to Volterra," I ordered. "Call Emmett and tell him to return. Do not wait for Edward, Alice, or Jasper. Adam and Ethan from The Guard will meet you shortly—they were already on their way. We have much to talk about, Carlisle, and we will be right behind you. Do you understand?"

"We do, Caius." He was still confused and very flustered. "Talk to you all soon. Goodbye."

I shut the phone and then took out the battery. I tossed it to Demetri and put the phone in my pocket. I kept my eyes on Jasper the whole time, debating on what to do.

I could not stop my smirk. "You know, I enjoy you sitting there like that. It is not every day you see the God of War cease and desist."

Jasper grinned in reply.

"Now tell us, who told you Isabella was dead?"

He frowned. "My wife had a vision of her jumpin' off a cliff and then the vision went black. Is Bella really alive?"

"Yes, she is alive. Did you not _feel_ your wife lying?" I questioned.

He cocked his head to the side and looked deep in thought. His frown deepened and he started projecting again—he was suspicious, angry, and shocked.

He was swallowing the venom pooling in his mouth from his anger. "You know what? Alice didn't say Bella was dead, but she did say it _looked_ like Bella was committin' suicide. We just assumed that she was dead because the vision went black. We talked to her father too, and he blamed us for 'the condition' she was in. There was no deceit in that."

I nodded my head solemnly. Someone was blocking his wife's visions or she knew what she was doing. Maybe even both.

We were all contemplating this when he asked, "So Victoria has Bella?"

I nodded.

Jasper nodded sadly and rubbed his face. "I'm assumin' if you're here with the wolves, you're helpin' rescue her. I'd like to help you. This happened to Bella 'cause of me and my family. We killed Victoria's mate and then we left Bella alone with Victoria alive."

_Well, at least he admitted to that._

"How did you know the wolves were here?" I inquired. I knew that he was upwind of us so he did not smell them.

Jasper explained. "Their heartbeats—they sound different from humans ones, even from animal ones. You'll recognize it easily if you've heard it before. I'm not familiar with the older wolf though. He has the presence of an Alpha, but the last we knew, the Alpha was Sam."

The wolves and guards came back and Aki phased back instantly. He nodded to me and then dressed.

Aki looked pissed, so I raised my eyebrow in question. _Did you encounter someone?_

He shook his head in reply. I would have to ask him later what had him so angry.

"You may stand," I told Jasper.

The wolves started growling and I put a hand up to silence them. "Jasper will not harm anyone unless he is provoked." I looked at Jasper, daring him to disagree.

Before he could reply, Jacob phased into human form and surprised the God of War.

It was quite comical because Jacob was still naked as he walked straight up to Jasper.

Jacob pulled him up and held him in place as he got in his face. "Do you know what you all did to her, leaving her like that? She almost _did_ die, you SON OF BITCH! He _left_ her in the fuckin' forest, and she was finally found 14 hours later! And she was never the same again! Charlie almost had her committed because she was a FUCKIN' ZOMBIE!"

Then, utter pain overtaking his face, he said, "She thought she wasn't worthy of anything after everything he said to her and you bloodsuckers left her without so much as a 'fuck you very much.' She _still_ loves all of you—even though _you_ did try to EAT HER!"

Aki put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "We do not have time, Jake, and we do not want to alert anyone of our presence here. Come," he said with his gentle, yet commanding baritone. Aki then turned to me and put a hand on my shoulder also, "I trust any choice you make, my friend. We will update those who have just come back from scouting."

He looked around. "Felix, please update Aro and Marcus. Afton, Denis, you know what to do. We move out in less than an hour, as the sun sets."

I nodded, patted him on the back as he walked away, and then looked at Jasper. He looked perplexed, yet even more inquisitive.

I had to know something before I made my decision. "So you are willing to help rescue Isabella instead of chasing your wife. Why?"

He hung his head in shame. Sadly, it was another sight to see. He answered sincerely, "One, I want to help because my family and I love Bella. She could pull off bein' Esme and Carlisle's daughter. She loved us and was as completely devoted to us as Esme. She was as compassionate and forgivin' about our lives and nature as Carlisle, if not more so. If you think Carlisle's a saint, she's a Goddamn angel." He chuckled.

"Two, it looks like my wife's been lyin'. I don't trust her to tell me the truth right now. If I cut off her credit cards, she'll call eventually. I'll find her sooner rather than later." He paused and sighed. "Last, I owe Bella my life. I tried to take hers, which was also the catalyst to our leavin'." He shrugged.

I nodded. He was being genuine. Similar to me, he did not like humans with the knowledge of our world. Isabella must be important to him, and she must be something else as a person to have so many care about her, especially Demetri and Jasper. I would have to wait and see how much of an _angel_ this girl actually was.

I motioned for him to follow me while I began speedily explaining what happened. "Victoria had grabbed Isabella in the water when she and Jacob went cliff diving—about 28 hours ago. They supposedly go cliff diving often. Demetri tracked Isabella to a small cabin for Animal Control officers on the southwest side of the Northern Rocky Mountains Park. There are at least ten vampires with her, but we caught the scents of a dozen and half of them on the way up and also around the mountains. That is not including the three killed in Washington. The others seem to have scattered, but their scents are only days old. That leaves at least eight unaccounted for and we are keeping a look out for them."

Suddenly irritated and tired, I sighed. "Currently, there are six scouting in a twenty mile radius from the cabin and two behind it. Two have also been confirmed to be with Victoria."

We reached the group just as Aki finished updating the scouts that had returned.

"What is Bella to all of you, the Volturi?" Jasper asked, truly curious.

Before I answered, I looked at Aki, who nodded minutely. "She is important to the wolves, and we have an agreement."

Peter might trust Jasper, but I did not entirely—especially with his timing. Under no circumstances would I have told him of Isabella's relation to Marcus or Aro's interest in her. Jasper would have to wait until we got to Volterra, and Aro read him, before he got all the answers.

The group told Jasper our rescue plan, and he was impressed with how well we worked together to strategize. When this was over, he would have surmised that most of us had worked together before.

Jasper began to speak. "I'll go with your group, Caius. I know you wanna keep an eye on me, and seein' as your group is enterin' the cabin I can . . . hinder anyone inside before you go in. I won't inflict the usual pain on 'em 'cause I have to actually see someone to specifically target 'em or Bella would feel that pain too. We don't want that, so I'll just send those in the cabin enough lethargy to delay their counterattack on us _and_ on Bella. When I see Victoria, I'll make Jane's pain look like a slice of high heaven—if that's okay with you. I'll also dismember Victoria since you don't want her dead yet. Sound good?"

"Yes, but I will be dismembering with you," I replied.

Jacob interjected. "Wait a second. _You're_ coming with us? We should expect blood—more than a paper cut." He looked at him pointedly. "How can we trust that you won't eat her, when that last time was just a drop of blood?"

_Well, looks like we are getting more of the story._ I looked at Jasper, waiting for his reply.

Jasper stood taller, and I could see the man I met so many years ago.

_Finally. _I thought. I hadn't seen the actual God of War in him for decades.

Jasper explained himself to Jacob. "Believe it or not, our diet doesn't give us as much control as the human-drinkin' ones. Most importantly, I'm an empath, and there were six other vampires in that room feelin' bloodlust. Bella _is_ Edward's singer, which means her blood calls to Edward—her blood is more . . . appealin' to him. Now imagine, not just feelin' a little bloodlust yourself, but also bein' blindsided by experiencin' all of that in the emotional atmosphere. The family and I didn't even realize my gift was hinderin' me until _after _we left Forks."

Then with the calm, non-negotiable tone of the God of War, he enunciated, "I. _Am_. Goin'. Do _not_ think that Victoria won't _kill_ Bella when she finds out we're right on top of her. I give Bella a better chance at survivin' this, and _that's_ what's important."

We needed to get going and this was useless chatter.

I looked at Jacob. "He is going. _End of._" I looked at everyone else. "Now, move out."

**********= IIVIII = **

My group, which consisted of Taha Aki, the wolves, Jasper and Balthazar, had the longest route. We had to go out of the way by heading east and _then_ north. The wolves made too much noise when they ran, and we were the ones going into the mountains to close in on the cabin. Therefore, we were also going to be walking part of the way. Demetri and Cyrus were going to meet us later and give us the status on the others.

There were three more groups, four in each.

Jane's group was running with us, but would not go up onto the mountains. They would be closing in on the scouts at the base of the mountains from the east.

Alec and the quick-as-lightning twins were meeting up with Denis. They were moving in from the west because they would be upwind of the scouts, but Alec could cut off their sense of smell to prevent themselves from being noticed.

Felix, Afton, and the strongest ones were coming from the south so Victoria's scouts would be surrounded. They would be backed into the mountainside with nowhere to escape.

This was the first time we had ever rescued someone. We could not give any indication we were here since Victoria was already expecting us, thanks to Felix, and she would definitely kill Isabella. Aro and Marcus would be disappointed, but Taha Aki, the wolves and maybe even more would be beyond angry. Then, the situation would turn into a Goddamn mess.

And, we had never failed at any of our missions.

For us to be successful, our timing had to be perfect; my group needed to be in position before anything went wrong. Everyone below was waiting for our signal, and if they were discovered before we could get close enough, we were fucked.

Cyrus and Demetri met up with us, and they told Jane the status—still only six at the base of the mountain.

_Easy. _I thought. Unless someone had a gift to overcome them all, and that was very unlikely.

Victoria had the right idea. She had the lookouts in an upside down W a good distance in front of the cabin—three below, two overlooking from the mountainside, and the sixth one acting as a running doorbell for Victoria.

But we, the Volturi, were better.

Five miles out, we got into our positions.

Cyrus had a gift of sight. He saw the other groups were also in position and Alec indicated that he was ready.

_Perfect._

Demetri was going after the vampire furthest from us. Balthazar was going for the other one closer.

Sign language was more useful than people realized. It worked well for all of us right now.

Jasper, Cyrus, and I were about four miles southeast of the cabin. The wolves were farther away because of their heartbeats.

There was only one heartbeat that we really needed to hear.

We heard more than that though—the vampires inside the cabin were growling and yelling.

The three of us ran for it.

Just as we got to the door, we heard screeching, as if metal was being twisted and ripped. It was the grotesque sound of dismemberment of the two outside the cabin.

The sound was the signal to the others below.

Cyrus pummeled one vampire right through the back wall. I did not expect there to be a fight, for Cyrus was one of our best, but this other male was holding his own—though probably would not for long.

Jasper went after Victoria, while I went for the male right next her. I tossed him out for Aki.

Four more vampires came from the north. Everyone but Jasper, Jake and I were already attacking them.

Jake had phased back and was now putting on some pants.

I had to warn him. "Do not come in here. You will not like what you see."

This was one of the major reasons I just hated everyone. There was blood everywhere, a camera set up and still recording, and a little girl who was obviously dead.

I took off my suit jacket and tossed it on top of her. I then took the camera and crushed it.

I looked around again, searching for Isabella. I would have thought she was not here if I could not hear her heart beating wildly.

Jasper and I walked closer to it, only to be pushed back.

"Bella?" Jasper asked, tentative. I felt him exude calm with his gift, but her heartbeat instantly sped up.

"Bells!" Jake called out.

Isabella fucking _appeared_. And I had to do a double take.

Jasper looked at me before he took off his sweater and approached her slowly. He tried to give it to her with his eyes squeezed shut.

I wanted to growl at him, but I knew it was not _her_. She died the same day I did—I saw it, and it was completely impossible.

I came back to reality with Isabella yelling, "Jake, you can't be here! You have to go back!" She began gasping for air. "Oh God, Jake. She sent vampires to the Rez."

* * *

_**Advocate Rec:** "Triumph of Love" by Elivra16. Esme & Carlisle. Pre-Twilight.  
_


	5. Helpless

_**Many, many thanks to DreeDreamer and DreaC.** _

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_Chapter Five  
_

**Helpless**

**JACOB BLACK**

I wasn't too worried. There were enough of us at the Rez to take care of three or four fucking bloodsuckers, and we could warn them.

As I slowly walked toward Bells, I kept my eyes on her face. She was naked, completely covered in blood, and I didn't need to see any more of that or the state of the cabin, otherwise I'd phase. She needed to calm down and only worry about herself. It was so like Bells to care about everyone else first.

I grabbed Jasper's sweater from him—he wasn't going to get any closer to her.

"Jake, what are doing? Didn't you hear . . ." Bells was still trying to yell, but her voice only came out quiet and hoarse.

"There are seven of us at the Rez to take care of those four, Bel—"

She tried to sit up. "No! She had two vampires get another group to go there! A _group_!"

I stopped short. _Oh, God._

I could see Jared and Leah were already running back.

I needed to leave, but Bells couldn't come with us; she would have to stay with these bloodsuckers.

_If Taha Aki can trust these leeches, I'll just have to for now_, I told myself. _But fuck, I don't want to._

Bella was frantic. "I'm sorry. Oh, God, I'm sorry. I don't know how many . . . or where . . . or when. "

I took the bag I brought with me that had Bella's clothes, and quickly tossed it in front of the head leech . . . _Caius_. It seemed like he and "Aki" were close, and I assumed he wasn't going, given that he was one of the Kings.

I squatted in front of Bells, looking at her beseechingly to believe me. "Shh, Bells, everythin' will be okay. Trust Caius and Demetri, all right?" I made sure to point them out to her. "I need to go, but they're gonna take care of you. I have Demetri's number, and I'll call you as soon as I can. Plus, I'll see you in Italy sooner rather than later."

I gave her a smile. "I love you, Bells."

I wasn't completely lying to her, and I hoped that I didn't regret telling her to trust Caius and Demetri, or regret putting my trust in Taha Aki and their "friendship."

I heard her softly say that she loved me before she passed out.

_God, I'm surprised she was even conscious to begin with._

I quickly stood and noticed that Taha Aki was waiting for me. I looked at Caius, but his eyes were on Bella. His face was a cold mask, yet his eyes were angry, a little sad, and even a bit...scared?

He turned to us, nodded once, and said, "Be safe."

Taha Aki and I phased and began to sprint home.

Then I remembered something. _Oh, shit, Charlie._

Through the mind link, Paul answered, _"Seth's getting him, and then taking him to the Quillayute Airport—where the rest of tribe's heading."_

_"Good,"_ I replied.

_"Jake, do not worry about her,"_ said Taha Aki._ "Caius has sworn to me he will keep her safe. Trust me, he will. Demetri is also staying to ensure it. If you haven't noticed, he really does care about her. Now, we have Felix and five others joining us. The elders should know where to go."_

_"The council's contacting everyone,"_ I told him._ "The pack's staying behind to protect Forks, and Sam's debating whether or not to send the younger ones with the tribe."_

I wished we knew more. How many were coming? How far were they from the Rez? What direction were they coming from? Could we head them off and stop them?

The only thing I could really ask for was to get to the Rez before the army did.

And I already guessed we wouldn't.

* * *

**CAIUS VOLTURI**

___/ / Moments before /__ /  
_

She was goddamn smart, this Victoria.

We should have thought of the possibility when there were vampires unaccounted for. Who knows what else she had planned, and how many more she created. Therefore, we _all_ needed to leave—immediately.

"Aki, take the express twins, you can use their speed. Take Felix and two others with you as well." I glanced at one of my personal guards. "Cyrus, you will go with Aki and use your sight. Jane, Alec and the rest are with me. I will make the calls to carry out the plan we arranged for your people last year, Aki. _You_ call me when it is over."

"Thank you. I will. Bella is im—" he started.

I interrupted. "I swear to you now, I will keep her safe." His eyebrows shot up to his hairline. _"Go."_

Aki was surprised. I could not believe it myself. I did not make promises, let alone oaths. No one ever kept his or her word—yet another thing I hated. It was one of the only two things I had never,_ ever _done in my existence. The other was lying. Although, Aro speculated I carried that over from my human life—then, it had just been about the principle.

Nowadays, there was no need for me to make promises or to lie. Both were pointless. If someone didn't trust me already, giving my word meant nothing. Besides, I cared not of others' thoughts or feelings.

Furthermore, being the monster that I was, and at my age, my list of 'never-done' was tiny. And it was about to become non-existent. I had just made an oath, and that would certainly make me a liar down the road if I could not keep it until Taha Aki returned and claimed that I had fulfilled it.

_Damn,_ I cursed myself.

It was Isabella's eyes that caught me, that bid me to act out of character. They alone spoke volumes, but mostly, they reminded me of someone I wished to forget . . . yet, also remember.

It was that little fact, that resemblance, that incited me to swear to Aki.

And as I gazed at her, I realized it was probably more than that. I felt the beginnings of a pull, and my priorities began to shift. That meant only one thing . . .

. . . mate.

I experienced immense jealousy while Jacob talked to her. I smashed my lips together and swallowed my growl when they uttered their affection towards one another.

_Goddamn it, fate is a malicious and fickle whore, _I thought._ I. Do. NOT. Want. A. Fucking. Mate._

Spouses and mates were liabilities, and I had never wanted either one—a fragile, broken human one, no less.

I already had a wife; granted I hated her, but that suited me perfectly.

Nevertheless, I _particularly_ did not want a mate. _Especially _one that prompted memories I had not thought of in a long time.

I snapped out of it when I felt eyes on me. Aki looked solemn, but his face had a hint of amusement. There was also a slight amount of pity in his parting smile. Jacob was looking at me imploringly.

I gave them a nod, and said the only thing I could, "Be safe."

They were gone.

I pulled out my phone and started making the calls. While it rang, I glanced around to check on everyone's progress.

Jasper and Balthazar had most of Victoria in the four cases we had brought.

Then I thought of something. "Jasper, put her head back on her torso, then she can heal. We will interrogate her soon, but she will need her lungs to speak. You can make her talk easily, yes?"

Jasper grinned and nodded. "And I can make sure she's quiet until we're ready."

I glanced around and saw that Demetri was watching over Isabella; I did not like it, but refrained from showing it.

At the other end of the phone line, the ringing stopped, and a man groggily answered. "Hello?"

"'There's no security on this earth, only opportunity'," I quoted. I could see the pyres glowing in the south. _Good. Everyone will be here soon. _

"General MacArthur," the man replied, now more alert. "Go ahead."

For a moment, I watched Jasper shove some of Victoria's dismembered fingers in her mouth. It was actually very creative, since she probably would not swallow or bite them—and she had more than a mouthful. We were chuckling at Victoria's expression and even Jasper's, whom was clearly enjoying showing her each finger before putting them in her mouth. Balthazar wrapped tape around her head, securing the fingers inside.

I began giving directions to the man on phone. "Pick up in Kilo-Uniform-India-Lima. Switchover in airport Kilo-Delta-Echo-November to G550, tail number India dash Victor-Tango-Alpha-Kilo, hangar twelve. Final destination and drop off at Lima-India-Romeo-Papa. Arrange for nineteen passengers, it could be less. Call Black after securing flight plans. Returning, leave the plane at the pickup airport, not Denver. I will contact you in four hours. You leave ASAP," I finished off with a command.

"Will do," he said.

I hung up.

Jane and the rest of the group arrived, but stayed a good distance away to keep watch over the area; they had obviously been updated on what was happening.

Demetri started to cut the tape off Isabella's wrists, but she awoke with a gasp.

I could not help it, I snarled.

Isabella tensed further.

_Damn it, I scared her. _

_But it does not matter,_ I reminded myself.

Demetri stepped back slowly with hands up. "I am sorry. I was only trying to free your hands from their bindings." Then he looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

Jasper sat on his heels as he spoke to her. "Bella?"

"Jasper, wh . . . ?" she inquired with gritted teeth from the pain.

Isabella's left wrist and lower right leg were crushed, and her right arm was broken in more than one place. All of her fingers and both hands were broken as well, along with bruises and several bites all over her body. She also had two stab wounds, and God knows what else that was not obvious.

I clenched my jaw to stop anything coming from my mouth, while taking slow, deep breaths. My nails were biting into my palms as I locked my arms to my sides.

_I will just ignore these . . . instincts,_ I told myself._ I barely know this woman, and that is not going to change._

Jasper started to explain. "Hey, I'm sorry, but we gotta get you out of here. Can you stop blockin' me so I can help you with the pain? I can help you sleep too."

I could hear the sorrow in his voice, but there was also tenderness. That aggravated me further, and I was already at war with myself. My instincts were screaming for me to kill everyone in the vicinity, especially Victoria for hurting Isabella, and Demetri and Jasper for talking to her. They were also standing too damn close to her.

It should be me, and_ only _me, who helped her.

_MINE! _My inner beast proclaimed.

_No!_ I told the beast._ She is not mine. I do not want a mate!_

Jasper sent me a heavy dose of calm and a little happiness. He was trying his damnedest not to grin.

I glared at him. _This is not funny, and it most certainly is not a good thing._

A part of me was getting angrier for being denied; the animal in me was seething and clawing to get out, roaring to be free of its prison.

It stopped short when Isabella finally answered Jasper. "I don't know how. I'll try, but no . . . no sleep."

After two minutes, Jasper said to her, "Good. We're goin' to carry you outta here. Do you think your back is injured?"

"No." She breathed.

With a speed and volume that only vampires could hear Jasper told me, "Caius, you should be the one carryin' her."

I shook my head minutely. I would keep my word, but I did not have to touch Isabella or even be close to her to do that. And I admit—albeit hesitantly—that I was scared that once I did touch her, I would never let her go.

Isabella passed out again. At least, she better have had—she did not want Jasper to force her to sleep, which was understandable.

Jasper grabbed a survival wrap from a first aid kit and wool blankets from a cabinet while he asked me, "You don't want to help?"

I shook my head.

"Alright. Prepare yourself, Caius. You'll want to attack us for touchin' and movin' her. I'm helpin' her with the pain and to stay asleep, so you need to keep yourself in check."

I rooted myself to this spot and put my arms behind my back, gripping my forearms.

_So he did force her to sleep,_ I thought. I knew that I should not care, as it was probably for the best if I started to attack them, but I did care . . . only a little.

When he and Demetri started to wrap the blankets around her carefully, a rumbling began in my chest. I leaned forward and watched every move they made. What shocked me was that I began to hate them for even looking at her.

_Goddamn it, this is one of the reasons I did not want a mate_—_it makes you completely irrational._

Jasper looked at me before he slowly put his hands under her wrapped body. Yet, when his hand skimmed her neck to lift her, she gasped again.

As I ran to get between Jasper and Isabella, I noticed that she disappeared and that Jasper was pushed back a couple feet.

_Isabella does have a power, _I marveled._ A very interesting and useful one at that._

Aro will be more intrigued. She had not even gone through the change yet, and she had only been held captive for thirty-two hours and eighteen minutes. I could tell she had also used her gift against me as I was pushed forward a little, which, surprisingly, slightly hurt my feelings.

Jasper was surprised as well, for she was obviously supposed to be asleep. I wondered if it was our cold hands that had set her off, that had reminded her of her captors and created the need for her to defend herself.

However, that was all in the back of my mind as I stood in front of her—crouched and growling—ready to fight anyone who came any closer to us, who continued to hurt or even scare her.

My instincts were telling me to kill everyone near us and I could then care for her or even run with her to do so.

My beast roared, rattling his cage to be free. _No one touches my mate again!_

That word made me straighten. I rubbed my face and dug the heels of hands into my eyes.

_I did not_—_no, DO not want a mate!_ I was battling between my rational mind and the natural beast within. _I did not know this woman, and I had never wanted a mate. _

_But we have one, _the animal cooed.

_No! _I argued. _I do not want one! Do you remember losing Aglaia? I will _not—cannot—_do that again. And losing a mate would be so much worse . . .  
_

With that thought, I hurriedly walked backwards to Isabella's side. I looked down and saw that she was asleep again. I was not used to caring for humans. And before I bent down to pick her up, I took another blanket and threw it over my right arm. I was afraid she would have the same reaction to me as she did to Jasper and Demetri. For that reason, I picked her up as slowly and as gently as I could.

Isabella sighed and relaxed a bit, as did I.

Jasper and Demetri were looking down with grins on their damn faces.

I glared at them as I quietly gave orders. "Let us go. It will take less than an hour to get to the truck, but about two more to get to Fort Nelson. Demetri, check your phone. Adam should have texted you their coordinates. Carry the bag Jacob left as well."

I was thankful for vampire hearing. If any of us spoke too loudly, Isabella might awaken and use her gift on me once more, which would only injure her further.

Demetri caught on. When he spoke, he was even quieter than I. "Wait here, we will take the cases out to the others. I think Jasper and I will feel better with our hands free to guarantee Bella's safety."

As they did that, I looked down at Isabella. She had so many mythical creatures caring for her. Demetri, above all, must have had a high opinion of her to act the way he was, which said a great deal about her character.

Demetri came back inside the cabin. "We warned everyone not to breathe and to keep a safe distance. Are you ready?"

I followed him out the door. Jasper was watching The Guard from the porch before they stopped gawking and ran down the mountain. We followed them, and then we all turned east.

Jasper started talking not even three minutes in, but he kept it only for the three of us hear. "You know, I can tell that you still don't entirely accept it. I'm goin' to tell you now that you really shouldn't fight it, because you won't succeed. Now that you found her, you'd follow her to the ends of the earth."

I told myself I would think of all that later, when I was alone with no pressing matters at hand, so I didn't acknowledge him. Jasper didn't seem to expect me to because he quickly added, "Oh, and later, you will tell me who she reminds you of."

"You are just like Peter, with the all knowing . . . fuckery," I claimed.

Jasper chuckled. "I miss that dipshit. I haven't talked to him in a couple decades, actually. You?"

I shook my head. "He and Charlotte came to visit twenty-four years ago, but I have not heard from him since."

"We should call him. Peter could know somethin' about what's goin' on with . . . your mate."

I growled at him quietly, to which he just chuckled, though you could tell it was halfhearted. He was genuinely worried for Isabella.

"If I ever get my phone back, I'm sure I'll have a message from him. If you don't have one already," he added.

We stayed silent for the rest of our journey.

We did not encounter any new scents or any more vampires when we got to the truck that Adam must have stolen. He was standing at the bed of it, and he raised his eyebrows when he saw Isabella and me, but then he quickly composed his face.

I only saw this in my peripheral, because I was watching the man next to him, whom only had eyes for Isabella.

Carlisle.

He was taking shallow and shaky breaths and I could see his venom glazing his eyes. Then he staggered forward.

I tensed and started growling. So did Demetri, who stepped in front of me. We quickly stopped when we thought better of it. I did not feel Isabella stir. Her heart rate was faster than normal, but that was to be expected with all her injures. I still glanced down at her quickly to make sure.

Carlisle was extremely surprised. He put his hands up slowly and looked down.

"Caius," Demetri started attentively, "are you agreeable to Carlisle sitting in the back with you?"

I wanted to answer that I most certainly was _not_, though I knew Carlisle should sit with us in the backseat so he could check Isabella. It was the reason he was brought here.

I acceded. "Yes, it is fine. Carlisle, you will need to keep your distance. You may look her over, but you do not touch Isabella," I stated quietly but firmly. "When we get to the plane, you can thoroughly check her then."

Carlisle nodded.

Demetri started giving orders. "Put the cases in the bed of the truck. Split into four teams and run on both sides of the road along side us, two in the front and the back. Jane, Alec, and Balthazar, for a appearances' sake, get a car on the way into town. Then, meet us at the airfield. Only you three will fly with us. Jasper, you will ride in the front while I drive. Carlisle, get in the truck, please."

Carlisle and Jasper got in the truck, while Demetri held the door open for me. I glanced around at The Guard, pleased to see that each one had their heads down. Demetri watched Carlisle as I carefully got in the backseat with Isabella. Then he shut the door as quietly as possible before getting in the driver's seat, immediately turning the heat on full blast, and getting on the service road.

When Carlisle looked at Isabella out of the corner of his eye, I hissed in warning. I did not say he could look at her yet. And, I was not ready for him to do so.

"Jasper, are you helping me or Isabella?" I asked.

"I'm only helping her with the pain. She's exhausted, and she was actually comforted the moment you picked her up. I'm not helping you, it just makes you . . . _mad_," he replied, and I could hear the humor in his voice.

_Mad. That is an excellent way of putting it,_ I agreed internally, brooding._ I am losing my head and control over my own feelings._

I looked down slightly at Isabella, trying to prepare myself. I knew she needed Carlisle to look her over. I started to shift and unwrap her slowly, being ever so mindful of my strength and her injuries. I left Jasper's sweater on top of her and was surprised with how much I did not like it there.

_Utterly absurd, _I thought.

I steeled myself and spoke, "Alright, Carlisle you may look at her _only_."

He intertwined his fingers and gripped his hands together, which was smart because he would want to touch her being the doctor he was.

I heard him gasp. "Oh, Bella."

I snarled at him. He should not say her name and was speaking too loud. If he and his family did not leave Victoria still walking this earth, Isabella would not be like this. I, also, would not be in this predicament. Although even thinking about not having met her . . . hurts a great deal.

Carlisle tilted his head to the side, trying to examine her legs and arms, and he was swallowing frequently.

Then he choked out, "The injuries on her torso?"

The three of us stiffened, and in reaction so did Carlisle.

A rumbling began in my chest with the images my mind conjured; my muscles began to tremble from my efforts _not_ to clutch Isabella harder. _She has been through too much already._

I stilled when she moaned and stirred, though she did not wake.

I took a moment to calm myself.

"You will be quieter," I hissed.

I shook my head to clear it, and tried to keep the emotion from my voice as I answered his question. "She has two stab wounds from shears that were about five inches long. Um . . . lower abdomen. There is something else you will need to know, but one of us will have to tell you later."

I started wrapping Isabella up as I struggled with my thoughts, attempting not to think of all that had happened to her. It would be a bad idea to have an outburst in a vehicle, and with her so near.

"Her back and head?" Carlisle asked, much quieter.

"She appeared to be . . . held face down during the duration of captivity, for there are more bites on her back than anywhere else on her body. There are no apparent contusions on her head."

Carlisle cleared his throat softly and nodded. "Okay. I brought most of the necessary medical supplies, but I cannot do much until we get to Volterra and run some labs."

_We could change her . . . _my demon taunted.

I quickly dismissed the idea. Despite the fact that I knew I could leave Isabella, could walk away from what we supposedly would have, it would be harder to escape her if she were a vampire. The bond would only strengthen, molding the invisible thread of fate into a tangible destiny. Truthfully, I did not know what I would do. I still wasn't ready to accept the fact that I had a mate—not wholly—and only a small part of me wanted to keep it that way. I cursed the greater piece of me that felt otherwise.

I noticed Jasper shake his head. I cleared my own and reminded myself to think of all this another time.

We stayed quiet the rest of the drive, and when we got to the airfield of Fort Nelson Airport, Jasper opened the door for me. Jane, Alec, and Balthazar grabbed the cases and got on the plane. The rest of The Guard were waiting in the forest to the east for us to take off. Then, they would head back to Vancouver to take the plane we came in and fly back to Italy. There were only sixteen seats in this G650, and we would not all fit without being conspicuous.

Carlisle walked up the steps into the plane first, followed by Jasper, then Demetri, and me with Isabella last.

With her held closely to my chest, I stepped over the threshold slowly.

The women on the plane gasped and whimpered, including the male who I assumed was Emmett. Eleazar was wide-eyed.

"Do not try to stand, or Jane will drop you," warned Demetri.

They stayed seated. I sped to the back of the plane to a separated room that had a sofa, one other seat, an adjoining closet, and the one bathroom.

I placed Isabella on the sofa, and I immediately felt loss.

_Good Lord, this is ridiculous,_ I thought as I stood next to her and looked to Jasper.

"Do you need to go somewhere else to question Victoria?" I asked him.

Of course, there were even more gasps, followed by a lot of growling.

I snarled at everyone.

I saw Isabella move and heard her whimper. I automatically sat on the arm of the couch by her head, and started stroking her hair.

Everyone became even more wide-eyed.

"Silence," I commanded quietly.

"No, we can go," Jasper murmured.

I nodded to Ethan, who got back to the controls and contacted the tower.

"Demetri, you call and relay the information to Felix. Jasper, interrogate Victoria now. When we are airborne, dismember her head. Carlisle, you can then . . . examine Isabella," I finished pained.

_That will not be pleasant for any of us here._

Jasper set the case on one of the tables in front, and opened it. Everyone was growling under his or her breath.

And Victoria . . . oh, Victoria was fuming, but still terrified.

Jasper leaned on the table and worked his magic.

Victoria relaxed, her stare becoming adoring. She then lowered her eyes in submission, and she looked even more child-like as Jasper started taking her fingers out from her mouth. When he was done, he waited a moment.

Satisfied with Victoria's compliance, Jasper began questioning her in a steady, even tone. It was almost soothing.

"How many vampires did you send to attack the Reservation?"

"Twelve," she answered timidly.

_Fuck, _I thought.

"Where are they coming from?" Jasper asked.

"The northern side of Yellowstone Park."

"When will they get to the Reservation?"

"If there is no fighting within the group," Victoria started, tilting her head to the side, "they should get there within six hours."

* * *

_**Please review.**_


	6. The Highway to Change

**_PTB, Amore, and DreaC are awesome._**

* * *

_Chapter Six  
_

**The Highway to Change**

**CAIUS VOLTURI**

Aki and the others would never make it in time. Isaac and Isaias might with their speed, but barely, and that was only if the small army did not get to the Reservation earlier than six hours.

"How many are skilled fighters?" Jasper asked Victoria piercingly.

"Six. Two of which are only decent."

_Fuck_, I thought. I knew that the seven wolves still in Washington had no real experience with fighting vampires and that only two had recently shifted.

"Tell me about the vampires' gifts, if any," he demanded quickly.

"Jim has a defer mechanism, anyone coming at him will falter. Sara can create a skin-burning mist that comes out of her mouth. And Raoul, the strongest out of the entire group, may have the gift of drawing in weak-minded people—they usually follow him."

Jasper looked to me, and I nodded. It was the information we needed.

"Ethan, stand by on takeoff. Demetri, do not call Aki yet," I whispered, being mindful of the woman sleeping next to me.

I watched Jasper put Victoria's fingers back in her mouth and Balthazar cut strips of the duct tape he brought with him as I mulled over our options.

I did the math in my head. It would take less than an hour and a half to fly to the Olympian Peninsula at our max speed of 530 knots, or in laymen's terms Mach 0.925—almost the speed of sound.

_Modern technology,_ I mused_, it is humanity's own Pandora box__—__both a godsend and an evil. _

And at the moment, it was a much-needed advantage for the Quileute. Aki has gone to lengths to shelter and protect his people; I did care about him, and this would destroy not only his tribe, but him as well. I was also a bit worried about this Raoul. Aki had mentioned once that the wolves' minds were linked—if one was weak-minded, it could affect the pack.

Isabella would be treated sooner if we stopped in Forks, as long as Carlisle could get the equipment from the hospital. I contemplated on leaving her in the place she called home with the wolves and her family, after ensuring her well-being. I could resist the pull that had been getting stronger and put some distance between us. As long as she did not die, I would be just fine.

We did not know if she was even aware of having a mate. To my knowledge, this was the first time we, the Volturi, had ever heard of a vampire recognizing their mate who was still human. Although, I speculated that it was because of the venom she had in her system.

Now on the other hand, I disliked the idea of actually _bringing_ Isabella closer to where I knew the danger was heading. She had just been rescued from it.

It dawns on me that I had been gazing at her for the past 42 seconds, and I had only been debating with myself for a total of 49. I froze as soon as I realized how much it comforted me to run my fingers through her hair.

I noticed Jasper, again, shaking his head sadly and scoffing at my reaction.

I shot him a glare. _He needed to mind his own damn business._

Back to the matter at hand, I knew this was the function, the duty, of the Volturi_—_eradicating vampires that could expose us. It was not quite midnight, and those adherent nuisances would be exposing themselves to humans. I was surprised we had not known about this army sooner.

What to do with the Cullens and the Denali coven though was something to consider. They would not even try to escape us, as they knew we would find them. Yet, we needed fighters with useful gifts to rid these pests as quick as possible, and I only saw Jasper falling under that category.

"I _am_ goin' with y'all, you know," Jasper said, smirking.

_He and Peter could be goddamn officious twin bastards._

Then, Carlisle whispered, "May I please look at Be—_her_ now? I am worried. She is in danger of having permanent damage and . . . worse."

I tensed. A part of me did not want to leave Isabella's side; however, it would be a good idea. I would most likely end up attacking Carlisle, and that would not help any of us. I decided to make the other phone calls.

"Yes, you may," I conceded. "Ethan, go out and call the others. Wait right outside of the plane for me. Adam, start planning a route for the Quillayute Airport—ICAO code: KUIL. Call Campbell's son to clear us for Customs, and then make the necessary calls to cancel plans. Jasper, you will need to be here for Isabella, in case she wants your assistance, but only Carlisle will be in that room with her."

I stood up and reached out to caress Isabella's one non-shattered cheek. Realizing what I was doing, I abruptly pulled my hand back.

I hated how natural it was for me to show her affection—when I had not known nor shown warmth and tenderness to anyone since _her_. I tried to ignore the feeling of everything inside of me attempting to escape the confines of my skin. It was as though there was a weight drawing out of my upper back, holding—_anchoring_—me, and only getting heavier as I walked further from Isabella.

"The rest of you are staying here for now," I said, before hissing out a warning. "Do not make one move towards the back of this plane, nor one sound to startle Isabella. She does not know you are here. Demetri, Jane, and Balthazar, make sure of it."

I pointed to Carlisle and Jasper. "I had better hear you explain to Isabella what you are about to do to her. You do not do _anything_ that she is unaware of, nor without her permission—other than easing her out of her slumber." I gave Jasper a pointed look. I was still annoyed from the first time he made her sleep. He nodded.

I took a deep breath and tried to choke out the words I did not want utter. My jaw was clenched shut from the anger boiling inside of me, the pain and disbelief of what those monsters did to her preventing me from finding my voice.

"I'll tell him," Jasper whispered sadly.

I nodded and sent him my silent gratitude.

"I'd like to suggest that my family comes with us," he added. "I have taught Emmett and Rose to fight. She and Esme could also get what Carlisle would need and even assist him with Bella."

"I will let you all know what will happen when I get back," I replied.

Carlisle was making to stand, but Jasper shook his head and advised him to wait, which was wise of him. I grabbed the satellite phone before slowly walking out of the plane.

I was already brooding. _This feels completely wrong_—_to leave Isabella in there with people I do not trust_.

And I despised it—the insufferable feeling that something was askew, the uncharacteristic longing, the worry now plaguing my thoughts—the entire situation, really.

I stopped after only two steps down and rubbed my face. It felt as though I was itchy all over, and I no longer knew what to think.

I wanted to be the first person Isabella saw when she awoke. For her to know it was me that would bring her comfort. I wanted to talk to her, to get to know her—to the get a chance, at the very least.

But I also wanted to run away . . . screaming. Maybe, even weep.

My shoulders slumped. _Dear god, I do not stand a chance. How could I leave her in Washington if I have a hard time leaving her now?_

All at once, a tidal wave of calm and happiness washed over me.

"That's right. Accept it, buddy," cooed Jasper.

I snapped. "Fuck you, Whitlock."

As I forced myself down the steps, I heard him chuckle and Emmett tell him that they expected an explanation on how he knew me so well. I thought it odd that he had not told them. They were a family after all. Though, it was a surprise one would even have the nerve to ask. Normally, vampires either fear or fairly respect the man named God of War. Even the Volturi did. His family must not have really known him, for they seemed unaware of what he was truly capable of doing, and what he would do.

The guards were trying to rein in their looks of surprise or (those who know me well enough) apprehensive amusement, either from my newfound language or my actions concerning Isabella. I had never used the word 'fuck' before this long day, and I had used it eight times already. I could now see the appeal—there truly was no other word like it. And, most of The Guard believed I was a misogynist since I had Athenodora stay in the tower, but that could not be farther from truth. I actually liked Jane, and I had adored Didyme. I just did not care to look at the woman who was, only on paper, my wife. There was no ceremony or the exchanging of vows, for I had never wanted to remarry.

_I had completely forgotten Athenodora until now,_ I observed._ I will have to deal with her later. Now, I have a . . . mate. My mate._

I inwardly cringed. Although it was getting easier to accept the prospect, I could not entirely. Not yet. Finding your mate did not utterly change who you are. I still had a difficult temperament, along with reservations. It would take me longer than others to embrace the fact wholeheartedly. I would just observe and get to know Isabella for now.

It was my turn to chuckle when I heard Jasper groan.

_That's right, _buddy_, _I thought, using his words._  
_

Then, I realized how much I really did miss Peter. I needed to call him as soon as I got the chance.

When I reached The Guard, I went around them so they were between the plane and me. I resented the vulnerability I was about to show with my next command. "During Isabella's examination, you do what you must to hold me back_—_even if I take one step in the direction of that plane."

They all gave me a nod. I knew some of them would enjoy pinning me down, but most looked hesitant. I was their master, their King.

I heard Jasper and Carlisle stand, before walking to the rear of the plane.

I stiffened.

* * *

**ISABELLA SWAN**

I didn't want to die, but I knew there was a good chance I would.

_Did people survive this much damage?_ I asked myself. I remembered hearing about a woman, unknowingly pregnant, whose chute didn't deploy when she was skydiving. She _and_ her baby had survived.

I could too . . . maybe. I knew my body was in really bad shape—more than just broken—but I could survive this.

At first, I thought I was already dead because everything was black, almost non-existent. It felt like I didn't reside in my body, yet I could still feel and hear everything around me: the cold, the wind, a room, people. I could hear voices, but the words were indiscernible. And maybe I heard . . . a plane?

It was completely disorienting not to see my surroundings. I wished that I could to open my eyes, but I was exhausted and even a bit withdrawn_—_I knew I couldn't really do anything.

I could tell that Jasper was helping me—only with the pain, but not all of it. There were still heated tingles in my spine and head, slightly radiating out and numbing my body. It was like my nervous system was exposed and fried, needing to be scratched. I could only compare it to a large mosquito bite. It would feel good when it was scratched, and then hurt like a bitch afterward, making the stinging sensation worse.

And it was getting worse.

Yet, just a moment ago, there was something else soothing me. Some_one._

Not Jasper. But more like . . . home?

The degree of reassurance I felt was something I would only feel from my parents. A security and comfort only they could offer after everything I experienced, and I would gladly accept it from them alone. But I knew that the warm, solid arms and tender caresses didn't belong to my parents, or even Jake, because of the person's voice—his voice. And thinking of the man in a familial way was . . . wrong. Completely off and just_ . . . wrong_. Sickening, actually.

Even with all the solace he offered, I didn't like him—his touch, his voice, his proximity. Where my family's tones would be warm and gruff from love and concern, his was fiery steel. Smooth and angry, accompanied with only a sizzle of fear here and there. His voice completely contradicted his gentle touch.

And that scared me all the more.

It was like _Victoria._ Like those in the cabin.

I expected my sudden panic amid the fear and undiluted rage as I thought of _them_. The unbidden images were coming to the forefront of my mind—images of that terrified little girl, of the vampire, _Logan_, pushing me down onto my stomach. But before I could react, I was quickly filled with calm, peace and security.

_Thank you, Jasper. _I could tell he was closer to me than before and that he was with someone else. They were watching me, and I didn't like it.

Suddenly, he sent me familial love, remorse, and . . . caution? Then I began to feel a tiny amount of consciousness seeping in, and he was slowly increasing it.

_Finally,_ I thought.

My eyes snapped open and I groaned. The lights were much brighter than I thought. Blinking repeatedly, I looked around and noticed that I was right. I was on a plane, an incredibly luxurious one.

My eyes fell on the two figures on the other side of a doorway—in a different room—and behind them, a pulled burgundy, velvet curtain.

I had already seen Jasper, so I should have known whom he would call.

"Ca—," I tried to clear my throat, but it only hurt more. Trying again, I could only rasp out, "Car—le?"

He gasped out and tried to smile, but it looked like a grimace. "Hello, Bella. Everything can be explained later, but first, may I come in and check your injuries?"

I hesitated before resigning. "Sure."

I knew that I shouldn't be afraid of him, yet I couldn't help but be anxious. His hands would be as cold as ice, like _them_.

Although I was actually angrier with Carlisle than I thought I would be, I was relieved to see a familiar face. Of course, he looked exactly the same—well, aside from the barely-hidden expression of a broken heart that was clouding his face.

I narrowed my eyes at him in irritation. _So _now_ he feels bad?_

More calm filled me, and I shot a glare at the man manipulating me, cursing him while I was at it. _Fucking Jasper._

Carlisle walked forward as slowly as possible while he carefully said, "I will be right back. I need to get some things out of the closet."

"Just . . ." I couldn't finish. I began crying from anger, from fear . . . from hopelessness. I knew what he would see when he came back. I wanted to cover my face—_to hide_—but I couldn't move my body or even my arms. I could only turn my head towards the back of the couch.

_Goddamn it, this was so frustrating. I can't do anything!_

Because I had no doubt that Jake would find me, I had prepared myself for what I would feel_—_awaiting for what I imagined I would suffer from my captivity. But I felt more dejected than I had expected. Mostly, I was afraid and . . . ashamed. Although, I had anticipated feeling both—knowing I wouldn't be able to control my circumstances and emotions entirely—I had hoped my acceptance of it would help me to some capacity.

I didn't want Carlisle to check me. I didn't want _anyone_ to see the evidence of what had happened, though I knew someone needed to. I might be angry at Carlisle and his _family_, but this . . . this would upset him. He was not only a doctor, but foremost, he was the type of person who cared.

Yet I asked myself, _how would he react?_

I began to panic, remembering that he would have to touch me._ Oh, God, I don't think I can get through it._

I knew all of this was irrational—somewhat—but also to be expected.

_I just . . ._ I sobbed harder. _I just . . . hated this. _All_ of this._

I heard a thundering crack from outside, and it reverberated throughout the plane—no, jet. And then, another.

I glanced at the closed windows. _Where am I?_

"Yes, Bella?" Carlisle inquired gently.

Then I heard a muted rasping, but chose to ignore it.

"Just, get it over with," I choked out. "I'm sorry. I'm just—I'm scared. And I . . . I don't want you to . . . to see me. Not . . . not like this."

Now, there was a booming clash outside, echoing in what sounded like a vast horizon. Then, it abruptly ended with a resonant thud, causing the plane to shake.

"Shh, Bella, everything will be okay," Carlisle assured. "What you're feeling is normal, and it can be overwhelming. But don't you dare worry about me!"

I turned to look at him, absolutely shocked. I had never heard nor imagined Carlisle raising his voice or losing his collected demeanor. I could see his body shaking from the sobs he was trying so hard to contain, but failing miserably. He rubbed his face, while shaking his head, before he composed himself and continued to the closet.

But not before I heard a ferocious roar.

I looked to Jasper, hoping he would tell me something—_anything_—but he was looking away, toward nothing in particular, with lips moving so fast, it was _almost_ unseen.

I finally understood that those sounds were _not_ from a nasty thunderstorm.

I wondered who could be out there, before it dawned on me. _No! Please, no. Please, not all of them. I don't want to see them . . .  
_

Suddenly, and expectedly, the recognizable and practically transparent veil glazed over my vision.

It was my saving grace, my bulwark*, after Victoria stabbed me twice.

The first time it happened, I had no idea what it was. It frightened me because I saw what I could only describe as mist—a colorful vapor, really—surrounding everyone in that cabin. Although it disappeared as soon as it had come, I had believed that a vampire was doing something _to_ me.

Victoria was wide-eyed, and later, even angrier as she had tried to have another go with me, only to hit an invisible wall. Her face was priceless.

It was soon after that, that Jasper and two other vampires came in.

Now, I knew that I was the one who did it, though I still couldn't control it.

There was also a consequence_—_I black out.

Only this time, it actually hurt.

The last thing I saw was Carlisle, shocked and yelling.

* * *

**CAIUS VOLTURI**

_HEARTACHE . . ._  
. . . was what I felt when I heard Isabella sobbing.

_SADNESS. LONGING . . ._  
. . . filled me as I listened to her sobbing harder.

_DISTRESS. ANGER. AGGRESSION. DEFIANCE. RED . . ._  
. . . consumed me as I was advanced upon, exchanging blows with those who _tried_ to stop me from getting closer to what was _mine!_

_FONDNESS. ANGUISH. HATE. DESPERATION . . .  
_. . . for _my mate_, as she started apologizing for something that was _not_ her fault and had no control over.

I ran towards her, only to be tackled by the horde that was in my way.

_FURY . . ._  
. . . from being pinned to the ground and hearing Carlisle speak to _my mate _in such a disrespectful manner.

_TERROR . . ._  
. . . when I heard Jasper and Demetri yell for me.

_RAGE . . ._  
. . . once I found myself crouched in front of Isabella's room, facing those who upset my mate, and in return, me.

_IMMOBLIZING FEAR . . .  
_

_SUDDEN CALM . . .  
_

_CREEPING AWARENESS . . .  
_

I blinked.

I heard the Cullen women sobbing hysterically, and Carlisle looked utterly shattered.

Jasper desperately shouted at me, "You have to change her! Now! She's dying!"

I spun around and saw Isabella, _my one true mate_, going into shock—and what looked like—a seizure.

Not a second later, I bit her.

* * *

**_Author's Note:_**

_Yes, another cliffy; I don't plan to do them all the time. Maybe._

_I have not read The Second Life of Bree Tanner so I don't know much about Sara's gift. I got the information at TwiWiki, which can be found at http: / / twilightsaga . wikia . com / wiki / Twilight_Saga_Wiki (remove the spaces). If you have read it—yes, I did give Jim a gift._

_*Quillayute Airport = A few miles northeast of the Quileute reservation; between the Rez and the town of Forks. (So, no, Caius didn't mean 'Quileute' airport.)  
_

_***ATC** = Air Traffic Controller. Not all small airports have them, especially that far north. As I understand it (if there is not an ATC or other controllers present at the airport), there's a frequency pilots tune into for every airport or region; then they coordinate with other the pilots in that air space._

_***BULWARK** = a wall, barricade or safeguard; also, a person or thing acting as a defense against injury, annoyance, etc. It's also a company, which makes the most trusted fire retardant clothing._

_POLL on my profile: "Who would you rather see as a traitor?" Choices are: Edward, Alice, Carlisle, Peter, or a new character. So, vote! Any other ideas you can PM me or add it to a review. I do have some of an outline done and most of twists planned out, but I am interested in your opinions. I keep changing my mind._

_Please press 'REVIEW.'_

_**DeVILLISHLY AdVOCATES:** Into the Wild by Dryad Fall, Fred & Tanya_


	7. Changes

_Thank you so much for the reviews and for taking the poll. You're about to get a better idea of what Bella has gone through, so . . ._

_**. . . WARNING . . .**_

_**There is an alarming scene ahead. It includes a vivid picture of RAPE and SODOMY. Although it's not the scene itself, it is disturbing. **__I tried to paint a broad canvas of Bella's injuries and the trauma she went through without actually writing the scene. I wanted to capture her agony and Caius's for the mural that is In Love and War. Please know that I do not take this atrocious act lightly; I hope that it shows by the emotions surrounding the image._

_**A HUGE "Thank you!" to DreaC and Twimarti for editing this chapter. Ladies, you are beyond wonderful!**_

* * *

_SONGS – "Struggle" by Apocalyptica – "10,000 Days (Wings for Marie)" by Tool – "Soulfly II" by Soulfly – "Walking and Thinking" by Ra – "Howling" by Within Temptation_

* * *

_Chapter Seven  
_

**Changes**

**CAIUS VOLTURI**

Fear was the most motivating emotion. Some would argue that love was, but I believed that to be utter horseshit—a deed in every meaning of the word. Besides, not everyone had experienced love, not in its truest form.

Where love was an intentional state and a conscious action, fear was an inborn yet learned instinct—a completely involuntary _reaction_. As pain was the body's natural alarm of self-preservation, fear was the warning signal of not only physical danger, but of psychological and emotional injury. It was abrupt and too hard to ignore.

Even if the driving force behind any act might _include_ love, it was ultimately fear—the _life-altering _desperation, the unthinkable terror, the dread of _unacceptable _fate—that _incite _and _provoke_ us to take action.

In this case, I was reacting . . . impetuously.

As soon as I bit into Isabella, I had to grasp and move on top of her already broken body with excessive force. I almost ripped her rigid neck open from the speed and strength of her protective gift. Although it was vacillating between on and off, I would not let it push me away. It was while I injected my venom that I heard some of her bones break from my latching embrace and was reminded of what she might be feeling as a woman who was _again_ being injured, held down and bitten against her will.

Suddenly, I heard gasps in the background.

When I felt Isabella's gift wavering, I quickly removed my teeth from her neck and licked the new mark, the one that would force her life into immortality. The animal in me swelled in satisfaction and pride that it was my venom coursing through her.

I have heard several say love consumed, but goddamn it, so did fear; for as I bit the other side of her neck, I heard something I did _not_ expect.

Her heart was irregularly stuttering . . . and then it stopped.

Everything turned into a complete frenzy.

"CARLISLE!" I roared. I quickly sealed the bite and laid her down. Frantically, I pushed down the blanket, felt around her sternum and ribs, and latched on. I started injecting her heart with as much venom as I could, as fast as I could.

I closed the wound and yelled, "COMPRESS!"

Carlisle began immediately while I started biting the inside of her elbows and above her ankles.

"Rose, grab me a pocket mask, the portable defibrillator and charge it!" Carlisle demanded. "Jasper, get the table and chair out of here! Esme, get a bag of blood out of the fridge and put it on the rack—AB positive!"

When I finished biting Isabella, I sped to kneel by her head. I clenched my hands and leaned my forehead against her temple with my eyes closed, paying close attention to her heart. I knew if I took Carlisle's place, I would only crush it.

"Do _not_ do this," I plead in her ear. "Please_ . . . please_." I have not begged for anything the majority of my miserable existence, but at this moment, I prayed to someone for any kind of mercy. I could not do this again, nor would I survive even this. I might not love Isabella now, but she was my mate, my _soul_ mate—I could and_ . . . will_ love her someday. She just needed to survive.

As I listened to the glugging of Isabella's heart from Carlisle's compressions and him blowing into her mouth, filling her lungs with air, I heard Rosalie sobbing as she grabbed the things he asked for. I could also hear Jasper forcefully removing the table and chair before he passed them off to Demetri.

"Rose, I need you on the mask and the defibrillator. Caius, you and Esme need to help me move Bella to the floor. Then you both need to grab appendages and start moving and flexing them above her head. Contracting muscles help squeeze veins and allows blood to flow back to the heart. It'll assist the venom to spread."

Esme came in, terrified but determined. She grabbed Isabella's legs and I took her arms. Carlisle glanced at both of us. "On two. One. Two."

We swiftly moved Isabella to the floor. Esme and I started moving her arms and legs, while Carlisle continued CPR; however, now, while he was breathing into her mouth, he firmly massaged right below her ribs.

Rosalie sat opposite of him and taped the pads of the defibrillator on the top right and the lower left of Isabella's chest; then, she held the mask to my mate's face, squeezing the pump when necessary. Both women were sobbing, yet still resolutely fierce.

It felt as though all of this had taken an hour, but it had not even been four minutes. Still, it was four minutes too long.

When the small defibrillator beeped, Carlisle called out, "Clear!"

We all removed our hands from her.

I knew what to expect, but it was still shocking and distressing to see Isabella's body react the way it did. Yet, her heart did not react, did not start beating as I expected—wanted.

We all started again and waited the long fifteen seconds to shock her heart once more. Nothing.

We did it again, and again, still no change.

After the fifth attempt, we were becoming desolate.

"No! Again! Clear!" commanded Carlisle, grabbing the machine and pressing the button.

Five seconds later, we heard it . . . a hollow glug-glug.

Then another. And another.

And it was gradually getting faster. Glug-glug, glug-glug.

We all began laughing in happy disbelief. Emmett was doing a dance of air jabs that were in time with his grunts, yelling, "Fuck yeah!" Esme scolded him with little reprove.

I grabbed the blankets from Isabella's waist to cover her back up before I held her head between my hands, putting my forehead against hers. I sighed and took a moment to relish the sound of her heart beating.

Then, I mumbled angrily, "Goddamn it. Do not _ever_ do that again in the next three days." I shook my head. I had started to believe she would not make it and I would not get the chance to truly know her.

I sat up and saw all the Cullens and Demetri wearing relieved and pleased smiles.

I looked at Demetri and started giving orders. "Take someone with you and run off to call Aro and Felix. Tell them what is happening. And yes, even about Isabella. They will need to warn some people." I gave him a meaningful look—no one was supposed know our arrangement with the wolves or even Aki; Demetri's phone calls could not be overheard.

"We leave in five minutes," I announced, before glancing at everyone else on the jet. "Every single one of you, including The Guard, is going with us to Forks. We should land before 2 a.m., and let us hope that there are not too many people at that small airport to notice how many of us there are. When we get there, Ethan and Gabriel will escort the Denali coven to Vancouver and will wait for further instructions. Now. Sit. Down."

Demetri nodded, getting the information he needed, and ran off.

It was going to be slightly crowded with 22 people on the plane; I wanted at least three of the Cullens to join us, along with Eleazar, and the succubae as I did not trust them with any of The Guard to go to Vancouver alone. I also really wanted to skip all the dramatics with the farewells that I knew would come.

I looked down at Isabella and was thankful I did not lose control of the demon within. Then I wondered why she was not screaming. She looked almost peaceful and had not made a sound . . . not even once.

"Carlisle, is something wrong?" I asked, trying to be as calm as possible. "She is not responding at all."

I saw him hesitate. My eyes widened and I shot up, snarling. "Well?"

"I do not know exactly, as I did not even get the chance to check her," he replied. "I would have needed to do some scans to know and be sure, but now, we will not get anything with the venom in her system. It could be nothing but her mind and body recuperating, or she could be in a . . . coma. She had extensive injuries, Caius. The human body works as a whole an—"

I interrupted. "Tell me after I get her off the floor. That couch pulls out into a bed."

I gently picked Isabella up and backed up against the wall of the small room. After Carlisle changed the couch into a bed and added more blankets, I laid her down. I sat on the edge of it and kept a hand on her unbroken ankle. I could see Demetri and the last of The Guard board the plane and heard the door shut. Adam, the pilot, looked to me and I nodded.

"Carlisle, your family can sit in the closet beside us. You will stay in here." I gestured to the space that once held the table and chair. As the jet started rolling, everyone took their seats, and the rest stood in the aisles. Demetri stood by the door to my left. Before he slid the door shut, I looked at him and lifted an eyebrow questioningly. I wanted to know how the wolves took the news.

He shook his head.

I winced. _Damn, I knew they would not be happy about this. Especially Jacob. Still, would they rather have Isabella dead?_

That reminded me of something, and I quickly asked, "Is the satellite phone destroyed?"

Demetri threw it towards me and slid the door, leaving an inch gap for him to see straight across to those in the closet. I dialed the number to the getaway jet.

"Yes?" answered the man on the other end.

As the engines on our plane started revving, I asked him, "Are you headed to the drop off?"

"Yes, sir."

I nodded to myself, satisfied. "Good. How many are with you?"

"Fourteen."

With that total, I guessed all the parents and only a few of the wolves had left the Reservation.

"All right," I started. "There is a manila envelope in the folding crew chair. Give that to the head of your group. It has the instructions for all of them."

"Will do," the man replied.

I hung up. _Money does not buy everything, but with a handsome fee, it can certainly get things done for you._

I waited until we leveled off before I started demanding answers from the one man who could give them. "Tell me, Carlisle. All of it. And in layman's terms."

Carlisle nodded. "All right. But may I look at her while I explain? It will help me get a better idea of what happened."

I stilled, but it was ridiculous of me since he had already helped. Even though I still didn't trust him, I wanted to know what happened and how it would affect Isabella—seeing as it already was.

I nodded once in acquiescence and removed my hand from Isabella's ankle; nevertheless, I stayed where I was.

"I would also like to give her a blood transfusion," Carlisle added. "Bella has venom in her system, but she needs blood to speed up the process and circulate it throughout her body. It may even help her in the long run."

I nodded again.

"Jasper, please get the blood off the rack in the other room and give it to Rose. Rose, please set up IV lines from the supplies you have with you —one for blood and one for a general vitamins solution. Then, give it to Jasper to bring to me."

Carlisle put on some gloves and approached slowly. He started with Isabella's head first, checking her ears, nose and eyes while he began explaining in a calm, matter-of-fact tone. "My biggest concerns were the lacerations, her fractured bones, internal bleeding, and possible blood clots. First, the lacerations cause blood loss, tissue and blood vessel damage, as well as leaking into the organ itself. If it is a large amount of blood, it can cause the organ to rupture and bleed into the rest of her body. When that happens, and depending on how long it has been occurring, it can put pressure on the other organs and prevent them from properly functioning.

"When the pressure on a muscle is greater than the actual blood pressure of the patient, blood will not get to the muscle cells, causing the muscles to die. All of that is internal bleeding—one of the largest threats to Bella. Um . . . may I move the blanket around to examine her?"

I reminded myself he was a doctor and reluctantly nodded.

Carlisle moved the blankets carefully, only uncovering her abdomen and examining the slits. A rumbling erupted in his chest before he covered Isabella back up and straightened. He was swallowing the venom pooling in his mouth, and his eyes were black from anger.

"The stabs wounds appear to be one of her last injuries," he stated through clenched teeth. "I would say her uterus did not rupture or cause internal bleeding, but it would have had irreparable damage."

I could hear Rosalie sobbing in the other room and chanting, "No, no. Please no . . ." while Emmett tried to comfort her.

Carlisle moved to Isabella's lower right leg that was crushed at the ankle. "The broken bones can cause more damage than one would think. Bones have bone marrow, which is essential for blood production. Add the major blood loss with the fact she will have a harder time producing blood because of so many fractured bones, and it becomes extremely dangerous for every organ in her body."

He rubbed around her calf gently, before grabbing antiseptic wipes off the cart and cleaning off blood under her knee.

"I would guess her right ankle and foot were stepped on since it has a comminuted, or multiple, fracture—which occurred before the lacerations. It also caused her tibia and fibula to have a _compound_ fracture, meaning the bone broke through muscle and the skin, and she probably got a fractured knee before those two bones had given into the force and broke." He shook his head, clearing his throat, and moved to her right arm and then the left.

"As you can see in her right foot, both arms and wrists, and above this knee, there are these welted bruises, known as a sub-dermal hematoma. That is blood leaking out of the veins or arteries and pooling in the tissue under the skin. It might look like bruises to anyone else, but it is worse than that. With this, her dislocated shoulder and broken arm, I would say she fought and tried to pull away from a powerful grip . . . more than once." He breathed out with pain. I could smell the venom pooling in his eyes as he finished checking her arms and hands.

"May I look at her back?" Carlisle asked shakily. "You can hold her while I do that."

I nodded and stood up to sit on the other side. Simply deciding to lie down, I held her front to me as gently as possible while he looked at her back.

He hissed, causing me to tense and hold my breath.

"She has massive bruising all over her back from either strikes or being held down. Um, it looks like they . . . " he started sobbing ". . . oh, God."

Carlisle started tugging on his hair. Esme was bawling harder than before.

"I'm sorry . . . uh, can you . . . can you turn her towards me . . . just a little? I need to see the front of her hip."

I tilted her body back.

"They dug their fingers into her hips and um . . . broke the pelvic bone on both sides. Uh, was there . . . was there something black and tarry where you found her?" he asked, looking absolutely frightened of the answer.

I nodded.

He gasped. "And what about . . . an object, that uh . . . maybe . . . had the . . . the same on it?"

My body began to shake. Carlisle had a good idea of what had happened for him to ask that.

Before Demetri set the cabin ablaze, there was a pipe and a leg of chair—both bloody and black.

It was the one thing that was too hard for me to tell Carlisle—the fact that she was violated in the worst manner known to man, and it was _not_ just the . . . _conventional_ way. It was wholly atrocious and unmentionable.

I pushed it from my mind when I felt myself grip Isabella. She did not need me squeezing her; she had been through enough. I caressed her hair as I looked at her. I marveled in the fact that she had endured so much, and not just physically, yet she was still fighting. She had even warned Jacob when she was broken in, suffering—immeasurably so.

I heard Rosalie wail then slap her hand on her mouth to stop it, obviously deducing what had happened. Carlisle quickly covered Isabella back up. He plopped down on the ground with his face on his bent knees and his hands desperately clutching his head. Jasper had come out with the IVs on a pole, looking heartbroken but murderous.

We all took a few minutes to compose ourselves.

Carlisle stood up slowly, shaking just as bad as I was, and hoarsely thanked Jasper. He took deep breaths as he gathered the supplies he needed to start an IV.

"You can lie her back down. While I do this, I will explain the rest of it," he whispered gruffly.

I did as he asked, then sat up and watched what he was doing while I continued stroking Isabella's hair.

"Flat bones, like the pelvis, require more force to fracture," Carlisle started, though not as pragmatic as before. "Yet, the pelvis is surrounded by many blood vessels that can be easily torn—causing much more bleeding. I would guess that this had caused her to bleed internally . . . quite a while ago. The other danger of internal and uncontrolled bleeding is the body eventually cannot circulate blood, or more importantly red blood cells that carry oxygen and white blood cells that fight infection. Not just to the organ, but throughout the body to heal the injuries or the process called clotting."

Carlisle moved on to the left arm that was closest to me with the needle as he continued. "The cold temperature would also slow down circulation. However, the most worrisome is a forming of a blood vessel clot that creates a blockage. It will stop circulation or cause the clots to separate. Sometimes, even debris from the fractured bones can travel to her lungs, to her heart, and even to her brain—known as an embolus.

"Even with just a couple of her injuries, it could cause a lot of reactions, including the body going into shock, having multiple embolisms, cerebral hemorrhaging, a stroke and respiratory arrest, or cardiac arrest. And that is not all of it."

As Carlisle stepped over the bed to go to the restroom, I moved to watch him as he flushed everything with blood on it down the toilet.

He came back and sat down on the ground. "Has she lost consciousness repeatedly?"

"Yes."

"How long has she been captive?"

"Less than 40 hours," I answered.

Carlisle nodded. "A few things took place and right on top of each other. One, Bella had gone into shock from massive blood and fluid loss, but maybe even a failed organ or infection from the internal bleeding. Two, she was already experiencing TIA, transient ischemic attack, or a 'mini-stroke'. That is the decrease of blood going into her brain from either blocked vessels or an embolus. Generally, TIA only affects one part of the brain, and the episode will only last for seconds to a few minutes—yet it keeps occurring. Both the shock and TIA can make her lose consciousness. And with TIA, some are not even unconscious.

"When I first came in here, Bella could form a sentence, but I saw her face droop on the right side, meaning the left side of her brain lacked oxygenated blood. Face drooping, or facial paralysis, is an after effect of a stroke. The fact that she was conscious and aware told me she experienced a 'mini' one."

Carlisle rubbed his face, appearing exhausted. "It was while I was coming out of the closet that I heard a rupture in her head, known as a cerebral hemorrhage or an aneurysm, which caused a major stroke. I would have needed scans to tell if it was outside of the brain or if it occurred within. But no matter what, I would have needed to do immediate surgery, and there would have been severe brain damage from blood coming into contact with it or from immense pressure.

"That is why we called for you, Caius, and the venom will help her. What you saw with the convulsions are muscle spasms. It can be a sign of a stroke. With her heart, it was already working too hard by beating faster to compensate for the loss of blood and low blood pressure from the lacerations. Moreover, it is common for a heart attack and a stroke to occur at the same time or within minutes of each other."

He looked down at his hands and shrugged. "Now, we just wait for her to wake up; however, it may or may not be in three days. The fact that she is not reacting to any pain from the change tells me she is in coma right now. Again, it could or could not last long. The venom _will_ heal her, yet there is nothing we can do but wait until she is ready to wake up."

There was nothing for me to say in reply. Carlisle gave me more information than I had expected, actually. I was extremely grateful, though now I was even more worried than before.

"Oh, and Bella's gift might be draining her and could have been hurting her more than she realized. She is—was—human," he added.

_Ah . . . so he does know about her gift._ Although, it probably did not matter, for the Cullens would most likely be sentenced to die anyway. They had broken the Law.

"Eleazar, come here," I urged. I stood up and waited for him to get past The Guard as it was a tight squeeze with this many people on a business jet.

"Caius," Eleazar said in greeting.

"Tell us about Isabella's gift."

Eleazar appeared to thinking exceptionally hard, and he looked unsure.

"It is hard to classify or even describe," he muttered. "It is akin to . . . an introverted energy field. More of a defense. Isabella's gift is similar to a shield, but not quite, as I know Edward could not read her mind. Yet, it is more . . . evolving. Since it is a mental gift, I would say it evolves _with_ her mind and works more with . . . her emotions and thought processing. I know she can create invisibility for anyone under it—only from seeing that you disappeared with her, Caius, and a couple times."

_I had not even noticed,_ I thought.

Eleazar continued. "And that _might_ have been because she was . . . 'imagining' she was not here or that something was not happening. It is almost like her mind has its own . . . rules?" He shook his head in exasperation.

"Isabella does not perceive or think like most, a strength and weakness. One used_ against _her. She can think of something, yet it does not always come out that way. Her feelings somewhat govern her, causing her to react without thinking, without considering things. It makes her more surprising than she already is. She has . . . unknown depth. So much that I cannot get a proper read on her gift."

He paused before nodding to himself. "I would say it is comparable to . . . gravity or a mathematical equation with two unknown variables. Gravity would first have to be experienced—much like her gift—to know it exists. To _measure_ gravity we need an object that falls _and_ the instruments to know the speed, mass and the like. Isabella's feelings are the object. Her mind—_thoughts_—are the actual instrument. And her gift would be the gravity—the unknown, yet experienced fact. Defensive, but also offensive. It just is and just will be.

"Certain things can change it—well, _appear_ to change it. For example, a triangle has three corners; granted, that is one dimension. Change it into three dimensions and it is a tetrahedron*. Yet, look at tetrahedron from one side, and it is a triangle. It is like that! How you—_she_—perceives something, _matters_. All the same, you have to know to . . . _know_!

"I am sorry I do not know more," Eleazar said, shaking his head again. "But, I can comprehend that it is _not_ limitless and will depend on Isabella and her mind. I am sure she did not trust Edward, not entirely, which is why he couldn't read her. And Carlisle was right—it had to have been draining her, because not only does she actually use her own energy, but she also uses energy from us when she is projecting it. I do not know if she can use our abilities or take abilities; for that, we would have to wait and see." He finished with a frustrated shrug.

_Again,_ I thought, _good explanations that helps one understand, but nothing can be done_—_which is more than a bit aggravating._ Nevertheless, I reminded myself that any of this could be different now that Isabella would be immortal.

"Ethan, how long until we land?" I asked.

"Twenty minutes. Max."

Eleazar went back to his seat while rubbing his temples as though he had a headache. He also moved his hands around as if it would help conjure answers.

I sat down and began stroking Isabella's hair, praying she would come to in three days' time. Then, I thought about how I was going to react when Isabella awoke and how she would react to me. I acknowledged that I would need to be patient and even tried to plan what I could actually do for her to make this easier. She would be a newborn in an unfamiliar place and with people she did not know and trust; obviously, she would be very cautious and more volatile because of what she had experienced.

_Worry about getting rid of this army_, I told myself, _then we can go home and I can get to know Isabella. And hopefully, she will want to get to know me. _

I knew that much—that what could happen next would depend on Isabella. And we had all the time the world had to offer . . . sadly . . . yet for once, I was grateful for the fact.

* * *

**JACOB BLACK**

Four hours after having left the cabin, our group was still sprinting across British Columbia.

The pack was already worried about Bella, but now we were also afraid for the tribe, our families, and Forks. New feelings and thoughts overwhelmed everyone's minds, making a goddamn fucking mess.

We were all grateful for the head leech's quick thinking to get information from Victoria and were relieved the Volturi would make it to the Rez in time, because we never would've. They received more respect for it. The fact that they're actually doing their "job" didn't go unnoticed either. Yet, we still couldn't trust them.

All of us were beyond pissed. Bella was becoming a vampire, and we couldn't do anything about it because we didn't have a treaty with the Volturi—at least not that kind. And, Taha Aki asked us to hear them out before attacking them. When I first found out Bells would've become a vampire if Cuntward—that's right, fucking pussy ass bitch just did cut it for that fucker—had let her, I had been angry with her for the longest time.

But this time was different. This time she was going to die, actually did die for a while there. Demetri said they'd give us more details later; they needed to fly out. I didn't know what to think. Even though I was pissed, an itty-bitty part of me was relieved she didn't die. Still, I had to ask myself, _Was this really better than death?_

We were shocked and skeptical about what happened. On our way to rescue Bells, Aki had told us of his closest friend; he was very old, and when someone "lived" long enough, it created a lot of resentment. Aki advised us not to take the head leech's piercing scowl or angry demeanor personally—it was just his face. Caius hated everyone, especially Taha Aki when they first met. So, to learn that he was the one that had bitten Bells was more than a little surprising.

After the phone call from Demetri, Aki briefly mentioned that Caius had changed only _one_ person—so add more shock. Felix then explained to us the whole 'mates' ordeal and what that meant for Bella. He made it sound like imprinting. I called bullshit. The rest of the pack was fast to second that.

Of course, we were all sad and worried. Bella was family, family that was now becoming our supernatural enemy. No one _wanted_ to hate her as we did the rest of the damn bloodsuckers. Could I actually hate my best friend? Would she be all that different? What diet would she choose? Does she even have a choice? When could I see her? Will I, or anyone, _ever_ see her again?

I was also scared. Why were they bringing Bells to Forks with them and not back to Italy? Would she want to stay with the Volturi now? And what about Charlie? He was dragged onto the plane with the Elders, causing a scene at the airport. He finally went willingly after the elders convinced him that he'd see Bella, unknowingly human, in Italy.

Aki told me not to worry about anything, that the Volturi knew how to do their job, and he was only disappointed about not being there for the confrontation. He kept trying to assure me Bella was in good hands, we could visit her and everything would be fine.

None of us thought so.

More questions and even more thoughts swirled around. I really couldn't make up my mind, and I tried to ignore everyone else's as we continued running home.

**= IIVIII = **

Paul and Quil were running rounds east of Forks. The youngest of the pack were _ordered_ to leave with their parents and the elders. Although . . . Sam was actually torn on sending Colin, Brady and Seth; he didn't want to split us up even more, and the elders didn't know where they were going until later—just so no one could pick it from our brain, like Numb Nuts, with their gift.

Sam and Embry were tailing the bloodsuckers from a forest by the airport to the _Cullen_ house because nobody wanted that many of them coming to the Rez now that the elders weren't there, and to make sure they didn't eat anyone along the way.

A few of them were rubbing out contacts, and then a group of seven split off to run to Vancouver.

_Funny._ We actually hated the fuckers with piss-yellow eyes more than the demon, blood-red ones at the moment.

Despite the fact that I knew the leechy doc would be there to help Bells, seeing the fucking _Cullens_ in her vicinity was infuriating. It was probably a good thing I wasn't with them—I couldn't wait to get my hands on all of those damned parasites.

Maybe Bells could do it now that she'd actually be a vampire—if she was even angry at them. Knowing her, I wouldn't count on it. I didn't see how she couldn't be somewhat angry. They not only left her, but fucking left Victoria undead, causing all this fucking shit.

Sure, I was happy their asses left, but it broke Bells in a way one wouldn't have imagined. It wasn't just the fucker's departing words, it was the entire goddamn "family" leaving her the way they did—as though_ she_ was the rodent carrying the Black Plague. They made _her_ feel like trash, when it was really the other way around.

In my book, they were more dangerous than any other parasite, with the pretense of being human _within_ the human society—especially when they didn't have as much control as they'd believed—and led us and Bella to think they weren't _as bad_. Wouldn't that be exposure of the worst kind?

Neither Sam nor Embry could get a good look at Bells since most of The Guard and the dangerous, parasitic empath surrounded her and Caius—another thing that didn't go unnoticed. We wondered if it was for protection or something else.

There were ten Volturi vamps staying in Forks that would be able to fight, plus the supposed God of War; the rest of the Cullens wouldn't be fighting at all. I noted a couple of the guards carried the cases that held the various body parts of Victoria.

When the group got to the House of the Damned, only Sam phased back and immediately asked if he could see Bella.

The Guard parted.

There were sharp intakes of breaths from the entire pack. Embry, and in turn the rest of us, would've thought Bells was dead if it wasn't for her beating heart; she looked like a giant blue and purple bruise, yet her face was peaceful. Felix had warned us that she'd be in a lot of pain, but it didn't look like she was—she looked . . . dead.

As the bloodsucking king explained Bella was in coma, some of us stumbled and howled.

_"What is it, Jacob? Is everything all right?" _asked Taka Aki.

_"Bella's in a coma! I thought you all said the venom would help her?"_ I accused.

_"It will, it will," _he insisted._ "Give it time to repair her brain along with the rest of her wounds. I saw her in extremely bad shape. Frankly, I am surprised Bella was even alive when we got there, that Victoria did not just kill her, leave her and make a run for it, seeing that she knew we were coming."_

As they entered the house, Caius started to tell Sam what the leechy doc believed had happened to Bells. Our group was slowing down as we listened to him closely, and I opened up my mind to Taha Aki.

Embry stayed phased so they could know if Paul and Quil ran into any trouble and watched the group through the window.

Caius put Bells on the couch gently and stood by her feet, but still in front of her as he continued explaining what happened. Sam was shaking his head while looking at her. It was really hard to believe that her heart had started beating again, let alone that she survived what we were all sure was just a recap of her injuries.

When he finished explaining, Sam nodded to him and The Guard but wouldn't acknowledge any of the outcasts, which were obviously the Cullens. Sure, they had helped Bella—_only_ _now_. Their asses were looking more and more confused, probably wondering what in the hell was going on between us and the Volturi.

Knowing what had happened, the pack could see that Bells was, in fact, dying. Even if she lived without being changed, she would've never been the same. It softened our anger, but only a little. We were still unsure how to respond because we still hated them all.

Rosie-bitch stepped around Emmett, and we all started growling.

She gave Embry a disgusted look before asking Caius, _"Is it all right if Esme and I gave Bella a bath?"_ She looked a little worried for asking, yet also had a look daring him to say no; Bella really needed it and there were no other females, except for the one called Jane, who was just a girl.

Caius tensed further, which was hard to believe because he was always stiff, but he nodded. _"I will bring Isabella to you and Esme. I will stay just outside the open bathroom door."_

Caius took the bag I had brought up with Bella's clothes from Demetri and picked her up _so_ carefully, it was hard to believe it was the same vamp with the hard, angry exterior. We had noticed he would always look at Bella every so often without really moving his head, almost as though he was making sure she was there.

As we all watched through Embry's eyes, you could see it—so clearly—the softening in his face and around his eyes, the sigh of relief when he touched her. It was all slight but still there, noticeable when you knew what to look for. It was the same way Sam would look at Emily.

Adoring.

And a hint of guilt.

But fear and determination would flash across his face for only second and then it was back to the cold, domineering face of a scowl when he looked at anyone that was not her.

A part of me was sad—I had wished before for Bells to be my imprint, even tried to force it when I knew it wouldn't help. Eventually, I figured it was for the best in case I do find my own imprint, and it would've pained me to hurt Bells in the end.

And now . . . I knew. She never would've been _really_ mine. She was always somebody else's.

_"And it wasn't Edward," _thought Quil.

That little fact made me angry. _Did they know that?_

Carlisle went to a chest to grab Bells a pillow and new blankets.

I then realized she would never sleep again. It would be better for her since she normally had nightmares, especially after what she went through, but it was still devastatingly . . . sad.

When they came back out with a clean Bells, the group planned on what they would do and who would be doing what. Caius was always near her, stroking her hair, and we were certain that he didn't know it.

**= IIVIII = **

More than two hours later, not quite 4:30 a.m., everyone was in place.

All they, and we, had to do for now was wait.

Seeing it through Sam and Paul's eyes was nothing short of dauntingly beautiful, with patches of misty fog that was creeping over the already ominous, hunter green forest. It was still dark, and the only sound was of rustling leaves from their huge paws hitting the ground.

They were just strolling along, seemingly without a care in the world—just a damn morning stroll.

An hour later, we heard it . . .

. . . the cell ringing northeast of their position—the sign from Demetri, who was waiting, watching from the mountains of Olympic National Park and would be coming up behind the last of them.

It meant the army was close and near the direction of the ringing.

It was a great scheme because it would give Sam and Paul an idea of where those fucking bloodsuckers were and maybe even distract those in the army.

Sam and Paul cautiously approached the spot where they left one of the phones. When they came upon a few tattered vampires . . .

. . . they ran.

Acting as bait, they ran back towards one part of The Guard that was situated southwest, a good two miles from where they actually were. Not far for us, but far enough, and it was more than ten miles southeast of Forks.

With their massive bodies, they were actually blocking the following motherfuckers' lines of sight—meaning they wouldn't see the three badass vampires that were waiting for the last moment to move out of Sam and Paul's way.

The ugly leeches were getting close, yet perfectly timed to when Jane, Afton, and Denis actually moved. They gave just enough room for Sam and Paul. Their large, heavy forms had to separate and arc back around because of their speed as the fucking leeches passed the awaiting three.

Jane hit them with such extreme pain that there were screams of agony _so loud_ that some folks ten miles away might even hear it.

As Sam and Paul turned, they caught sight of Afton and Denis tearing apart the only four that followed, along with Jane taking out a tiny-looking torch and setting their dismembered parts aflame.

_"Get to the other group," _ordered Jane. _"Ten miles north, they have ten of them."_

Sam and Paul ran.

As they were coming up to the other group that would only have four against ten, we all saw something . . .

. . . in our minds from Embry and Quil.

Four had arrived at the house, one of them claiming they had smelled Bella and was demanding to know where Victoria was.

We should've known when Jane said there were _ten_ attacking the other group that something wasn't right—that was two more than Victoria had said. Where the fuck did those two come from? Could Victoria have lied? Wouldn't the fucking Empath have caught that?

Sam and Paul almost turned to run towards the house instead, but saw that Caius, Balthazar, and Jasper could handle themselves fine.

Balthazar, who could rival a body builder's physique, was one fast bloodsucker. He was fighting against one who seemed to be pretty good, but Balthazar was goddamned better—smarter and more precise with his hits and bites. The fucking leech was arrogant, yapping away and saying his name was Raoul. He went crazy when his first arm was ripped off. Balthazar laughed . . . loudly.

Jasper had two that were trying to back away, quivering in fear. He shook his head, did a _"Tsk,"_ and before they even knew it, the leeches fell to their knees as if they were begging. Jasper began beheading them before moving onto their appendages. He seemed almost bored, like he had done it a thousand times, and these two just didn't cut it for him.

He and Balthazar were tossing body parts to Embry and Quil to burn, but they only saw all that in there peripheral since they were watching Caius.

Caius was something else. He was doing some kind of predatory dance—cunning, smooth and unflustered. It was the first time I had seen Caius smile. It was small, but still there. His young, dirty blond opponent wasn't trying to approach him, and it was probably because Caius looked like he knew something the leech didn't. Caius suddenly flew at him and knew exactly what the fucker would do—move to his right to get out of the way to punch Caius in the back with his right fist as he passed.

But no, Caius went behind him first. Then went back to the fucker's front, moving clockwise and grabbing the douche's extended right arm. Caius pulled back while pushing on the guy's neck with his left hand. The arm snapped right off. Caius used the grip on the leech's neck to turn him around as he continued doing clockwise circles around him, all while grabbing the stunned leech's left arm and slipping his legs out from under him. The dumbass fell face down so the arm was ripped clean off—the same as the right. By the time the fucker fell down, all of his appendages were gone.

_Goddamn_, I thought._ He was faster than Jasper and Balthazar._

The pack was amazed; the King could actually fight.

The last group, consisting of Alec, Gregory, Aldric, and Adam, had three out ten taken care of. Demetri was just about to join in with Sam and Paul, which would make it an even fight.

Seven against seven.

Now, have you ever seen anything coming right before it happened? Something that made your blood run cold from fear? Watching through minds could be confusing, but it could also be a blessing. Sometimes, you didn't focus on what everyone else did because your attention was on something else.

Paul was fighting against a carrot top, yet he knew—because of what I saw—that a leech was behind him, moving in for a bite. Paul bucked up, using his hind legs to kick him away. Although better than being bitten, the leech grabbed Paul's tail.

But the other thing I saw a split second before actually happening . . . was also a split second too late.

Three things happened at once. Paul yelped from his tail being pulled. A little girl in the distance yelled, "Diego!" Sam was distracted from Paul's yelp and the little girl. And, what I saw . . . what was only a blur . . . was the bloodsucker moving to bite into Sam's neck when he hesitated. Sam dropped to the ground, oozing a good amount of venom and began to shake violently.

The howls of the pack could be heard for miles—in Forks and in British Columbia.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__As always, please let me know whatcha you all think. :) _**  
**

_**References:  
***All the medical info from MedicineNet – medicinenet . com__ (I have no medicinal knowledge, and I'm sorry if I got any of it wrong.)**  
***TETRAHEDRON – an equally four-sided triangular pyramid = a three sided pyramid + base_

_**Advocate Rec:**__ Hair of the Dog by mjinaspen, Edward & Leah - AH (Fuck-awesome!)_


	8. Surprises

_**THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS!** You guys are so awesome! And I really appreciate the comments! *hugs!*_

_**TWIMARTI, my beta from PTB **— Thank you, as always, for editing this. (3/04/11)_

* * *

_SONGS _— _"Wasted Years" _by Cold – _"Darkness"_ and _"Haunted" _by Disturbed – _"Hope"_ by Apocalyptica – _"The Swan Song"_ by Within Temptation

* * *

_Chapter Eight  
_

**Surprises**

**JACOB BLACK**

It was true when they said the adrenaline from alarming terror could make you do miraculous things, like someone lifting a car that was pinning their loved one.

Determination and power radiated out of my body as I propelled myself forward and willed my body to get home with the group trying to keep up behind me. We were all practically flying across Canada.

Leah was having the hardest time keeping up—she was breaking inside. Along with despair, regret started blooming inside of her, replacing the anger she once held towards Sam. She would _always_ love him, but she had taken the recent time with him for granted by resenting him, and now . . . now, that was hurting her even more.

We, the pack and the Quileute, were shattered. Some of us prayed that maybe the elders were wrong about the venom killing us, as we could only watch our home from afar . . .

Paul hadn't howled like the rest of us—he'd begun to fight with new vigor. He ignored the little girl screaming in the distance as he launched himself at the fucking leech that bit Sam. The fuck and some of the other bloodsuckers were distracted, looking stunned; probably because Sam had phased back instantly, and they didn't know we were actually human.

With their attention elsewhere, the rest of The Guard started tearing them apart as Paul bit through the leech's neck from behind and ripped back, dismembering his head. Next, he bit the waist, shook him like a chew toy, completely biting through him from the force.

Paul flung the parasite's torso toward the one he was fighting before, making that leech stumble.

The guard they called Goose had finished his own, so he grabbed the motherfucker and started ripping him to shreds. Everyone was tossing body parts toward Aldric to burn.

_"Move!"_ ordered Demetri as he picked Sam up and started to run south with him.

Quil and Embry had already left the leech house and were halfway toward the group, and Demetri's phone rang for the second time. They stopped about a mile down before Demetri quickly said, _"Paul, take Sam. If it is all right with you, I am going to try to suck out the venom. I do not think it will work, but we can try. I need to answer this phone call as well. It is probably Caius."_

Paul phased back.

I had to see through Quil and Embry's eyes for only a minute, but it was one long . . . _ass_ . . . agonizing minute not being able to see what was happening.

They reached the group the same time as Jane, Afton, and Denis, and with Demetri just hanging up.

Nudie Paul was carrying a now covered, yet still shaking Sam. _"Why did we have to move?"_

Demetri shrugged, but then followed it by slowly tilting his head forward, raising his eyebrows pointedly, and in less than a whisper, he responded, _"That right there."_

Without anyone moving their heads, they all glanced in that direction. There was a dark green cloud creeping to the area where they once were. It was low to the ground and could almost pass off as murky fog, but we knew a goddamned leech had a gift that could burn our skin with some kind of cloud.

Demetri looked at the five vamps to his right and nodded as if he was nonchalantly agreeing with whatever they didn't say.

_"Come on. Let us go back to the house,"_ he stated almost casually, before he started moving west but not southwest toward the house. Some of The Guard positioned themselves around Paul and Sam as the others watched the surrounding area.

After a few miles, Demetri nodded to the five. They broke off and headed north. A few miles later, the remaining group started moving in the direction of the house.

When they got there, Caius was looking through the window at Sam. Instead of the usual scowl, the normally disgruntled King looked slightly solemn. He sighed, shaking his head, as he started stroking Bella's hair.

This long ass day was only getting worse and worse. First, with Bells captured a couple days ago, followed by her becoming a vampire, and then next she was in a coma. Now, it was Sam, and there was probably no hope to save him like Bella. This wasn't Underworld_—_this wasn't a movie or some neat tragedy. No, this was real fucking life.

Balthazar grabbed two blankets plus a couch cushion and came out toward Paul. He placed them on the ground for Sam and before heading back inside, he gave a deep, sincere bow with his head.

Paul hoarsely thanked him and laid Sam down.

Demetri took the chance to inform Caius on the situation._ "Goose and four others are checking for any stragglers who could be hiding, along with getting the two females that did not fight. They will bring them here to be interrogated on why there were more in number than what Victoria had claimed."_ Demetri turned to glare at the fucking Empath, who was looking confused.

_"Will one of you stay phased for me to communicate with Jacob and the others?"_ Caius asked one the wolves.

Quil nodded.

Caius took a deep breath and lowly started._ "There is nothing that can be done. The amount of venom would give you an idea of how long until Sam . . . dies. The more venom, the sooner that happens. And this could last six to fourteen hours. Although medication could possibly help him with the pain, his body will look . . . well . . . it will not be the same. It can be a disturbing and terrifying sight." _

Then he suggested hesitantly, _"I would say it would be a great mercy to . . . to take care of Sam now, for it will be sheer agony for him and no one will be able to look upon his body afterward." _

We all whimpered. None of us could even _think_ of doing that, let alone actually do it. It would be kind, yes, but which of us could carry the burden of really killing Sam, _our Alpha_?

Caius looked around at the wolves. _"I am truly sorry. I know it is never easy losing a brother." _

The pack cried out in resounding howls. You could hear the intense anguish in Leah's wailing one. We never knew if we could cry in wolf form since animals didn't actually shed tears, but . . . Leah was. She was trying _so_ hard to keep herself upright because we didn't know if we'd even make it there before Sam died. Nevertheless, we knew we were going to try our damnedest. My, Jared, and Leah's paws began to pound the earth with determined thuds.

Sam was our brother and leader_—_the Alpha of our pack—but he was also a protector and confidant to the Quileute people.

As we watched Sam through Quil's eyes, it felt as though a part of each of our souls was already dying_—_each recognizing what it would be missing. We would never be the same as a pack . . . as people. We'd feel his absence more acutely because of the link of our minds and the bonds of the Spirit Warrior brotherhood.

Embry immediately phased and grabbed Sam, pulling him into his lap and clutching him with tears flowing down his broken, yet livid face. We never found out if they were related, but it never mattered to either one of them, or any of us. They treated each other as real brothers_—_with or without sharing blood.

Embry glared at each of the Cullens. _"Don't you dare look at us like that! You should feel guilty . . . this is your fault! You should've killed Victoria way before you even left Bella, which is your goddamned fault, too!" _

Then in the quietest, most menacing tone we had ever thought capable of him, Embry threatened,_ "You made a grave mistake coming back here and fuckin' with us and those we love. If I see any of you again,_ _I. WILL. KILL. YOU."_

I agreed with him. Still, I thought it was our fault too_. _Ephraim should've killed the fucking parasites when they first came here, or we should've when they came back.

I wouldn't think about being the Alpha, what that would mean for me—not yet, at least—but now I knew that I would be and much sooner than I had planned. I could try to ensure that they would all die if they stepped one foot on the Olympic Peninsula, along with any other leech that came through here.

There would be no more mercy for their kind. No treaties. Not anymore.

With the exception of Bella and some of the Volturi.

Maybe.

The Volturi had proven themselves so far, but trusting them could be _our_ grave mistake.

Goose walked out of the forest into the driveway with the two female bystanders slightly ahead of him.

One was maybe 15 years old with deep-set eyes and short, dark hair. The other was no more than 14, judging from her scrawny body, long brown hair, and big eyes.

They reminded me of a younger Bella, and it wasn't exactly the physical features but the haunted look in their expressive eyes_—_what could only come from seeing things that shouldn't ever be experienced or even known. Although we still hated them, especially because they were part of that army, slight disbelief and sadness seeped in. They were so young and their lives were just . . . wasted.

They were both afraid and tried not to look at anyone, though they kept glancing at Quil in wolf form or at Sam lying on the ground.

Goose ushered them forward. _"The others are still scouting the area, in addition to keeping watch of the Reservation. Though no others went that far west."_

Demetri stepped forward and started questioning them. _"How many came with you?"_

The older one answered quietly, _"Eighteen, but six others came looking for Victoria. Riley said he'd take them to her after coming here."_

Jasper nodded, indicating they were telling the truth, even though none of us trusted him. He, _and they_, could still be lying.

Demetri continued quickly. _"Are there more of you in a different location?"_

_"Seven are with Victoria. We weren't allowed to meet her, so we don't know for sure. It could be more."_

Jasper nodded again.

Well, I'd guess they really didn't know Victoria since she was in a few suitcases about twenty feet from them and they didn't recognize her scent. Or, maybe they were good liars. I knew there were fourteen vamps with her at that cabin, so I wanted to know about the other seven.

_"Why were the other six looking for Victoria? Were they not a part of your group?" _Demetri probed.

This time, the youngest one answered, _"No, they were sent by their own sire. And, I think they called her . . . Maria."_

The parasite family gasped and many of the other bloodsuckers looked at the motherfucking Empath.

_"I didn't smell Maria on the ones who came here," _the fucker mused aloud._ "I'm guessing you already burned the other bodies?"_

Goose nodded. _"I did not smell her either. It may or may not be that Maria. We have been looking for her since she escaped our confrontation and she has been successful in evading us. We can only be certain when Aro touches Victoria."_

He looked to Caius, who answered with a nod. Goose and Demetri stepped closer to them, ready to strike.

_"Wait,"_ Esme interjected. _"They are very young and gave you the information you wanted. We could . . . take them in and teach them."_

The Volturi chuckled.

_"You are here for your own crimes and you want to take on more responsibility with these two?" _Caius asked, incredulous but with some mirth.

He studied the girls and then looked at Demetri. They gave each other small smiles. _"If it is okay with the wolves, why not?"_

Embry was quick to answer. "_I say kill them."_

_"I say leave them . . . undead,"_ Paul whispered.

Quil and Embry swung their heads to him in surprise—Paul would've been the first to vote "die" out of all of us.

_"There has been enough death today."_ Paul paused and looked down. _"Life is . . . being thrown away for nothing. But one wrong move, you kill them."_

He looked to Demetri and Caius. They nodded back before regarding Quil.

Quil asked us,_ "What do you say, guys?_"

_"Die," _asserted Leah.

_"Paul. They're really young," _Jared claimed begrudgingly.

I wanted them to die, but_ . . . "I agree with Paul."_

Quil jutted his muzzle to Paul.

_"So be it._" Caius nodded in acquiesce._ "They live . . . for the time being. Now, we will stay here to watch over the area until Jake and the others arrive; however, we will need to leave in 36 hours because you do not want Bella waking here. Would you like me to call the plane with your elders and request an emergency turn around?"_

I thought about it. There could be more vampires out there, even if those leeches said there weren't. Yet, Sam deserved a proper burial on the Reservation an—

_"I will be staying in Forks for a little while longer also,"_ Taha Aki quickly informed me.

—and the elders would want to see Sam. We still needed to decide what to do as a tribe. For those reasons, I answered, _"Yes." _

Quil nodded for me.

_"All right,"_ Caius acknowledged._ "However, it may take them about eight hours to return, considering they are nearly to their destination and would have to refuel. Jacob, you and the others will most likely make it here before them. After everyone has arrived, we will talk somewhere other than here and away from the Cullens. If you wish to go back to the Reservation with Sam, you may. Although first, would you like the pain medication for him?"_

The three that were there nodded.

_"Aldric, Gregory, escort Carlisle to get what he needs from the jet,"_ he ordered.

Embry snarled.

Caius looked at him pointedly. _"No one else will be able to administer it. Gregory, bring blood bags as well, in case some of you need to feed."_

The leechy doc walked forward and went off with the two guards as Caius began talking on the phone.

_"Campbell, there has been emergency and the passengers need to come back to the Quillayute airport . . . Before you land, give me a call . . . You may go home, but we may call upon you again."_

He hung up and immediately made another phone call.

_"Sarah, the Quileute are turning around; do not expect them at your house . . . No, you should not come here . . . No, it is dangerous!" _Then, he growled out,_ "Too damn bad, you are not coming here . . . No, it is too much at one time . . . We will be in Volterra within 44 hours . . . No, probably not, and he will call you later . . . Let Aro know, and have him call Afton for more information." _

Caius listened to whatever this Sarah had to say before suddenly cringing and quickly glancing down at Bells. _"Yes, I did . . . No . . . It is not amusing," _he said petulantly. Then he lightly snorted, rolling his eyes. As he listened to her, and we all watched, one could tell from his grunts and groans that he was becoming exasperated. Scowling, he finished the call forcefully and grounded out, _"Goodbye, Sarah."_

He snapped his phone shut and curtly said, _"Jacob, tell the big lug of a man with you that when he gets the chance he needs to call his wife."_

_"Felix is married?"_ I asked Taha Aki.

_"No. Sarah is my wife a_—"

_"Wait a second. Your wife_—your Imprint—_is a . . . vamp?"_ I asked, completely shocked.

_"Yes, albeit she was human when I imprinted on her. I was like Caius_—_I met her when she was dying, and because I could not part with my one and only imprint_—_when having just found her_—_I _asked_ Caius to change her. She is the only other person that Caius has changed. Even though he prefers not to change people, for me . . . he did. That is an example of Caius's compassion and loyalty when you have his friendship. It goes to show that he is not entirely an asshole underneath. You simply have to earn it. And yes, I will call her when we get back to the Reservation."_

After Quil apprehended my memory of the conversation, he nodded to Caius, but he and the others were just as shocked as I was.

_How in the hell could he stand it?_ I wondered. _I mean, sure, she was his imprint, but it doesn't matter that she's a vamp now? Does it even bother him?_

I got my answer.

_"No, it does not."_ Taha Aki glanced at me from the corner of his eye as we continued running._ "I apologize; you are still streaming your thoughts to me. I am sorry for not telling you as well. I was hoping to tell the pack another time. You should know, despite the fact that I do not see her as a vampire, the Council is aware of her." _

_Well, fuck. What other shit are they keeping from us?_

_"You will find out soon enough,"_ Taha Aki admitted solemnly.

All I could do was nod. We were about halfway home, and we _would_ find out soon enough.

We watched as the fucking doc came back and administered the morphine to Sam. He gave Embry extra medication along with directions on the dosage. The pack took Sam to his house, but not before Embry punched the leech smack dab on the nose.

We had already known one of the bloodsuckers from the army was Sara—because of her gift, and we learned Bree was the name of the other one, who was the youngest out of that entire group. They stayed quietly on the porch, avoiding everyone—even the piss-eyed ones.

And The Guard . . . The Guard was still on the lookout, but they hadn't found any more vamps in the area.

**********= IIVIII = **

We ran like hell and actually cut the trip down from twenty-two hours to sixteen, getting to Forks at 12:30 p.m. It was Monday, so we had to be cautious and stay in the shadows. Jared and I met Demetri and Goose at the airport to pick up my dad and the others, and their plane landed about half an hour later.

We had forgotten about Charlie with everything that was happening, so it was a good thing the vamps were wearing contacts.

Charlie stepped off the plane, immediately coming up to me. "Where's Bella? And why the hell did we come back here? I thought she was in Italy and in some sort of trouble! Would someone like to tell me what the hell is going on?" He was more than furious with his glaringly red face, eyes piercing and expectant, and the vein in his forehead throbbing to the point of bursting.

We didn't have an excuse for Bells or even ourselves yet, so there wasn't anything we _could_ tell him.

I said the first thing that came to mind. "Bells ran off to Italy. Cuntward, sorry . . . _Edward _was in some sort of trouble and she went to help him and the Cullens." It sounded probable, and it really was their fault. I knew Charlie hated them with a passion that rivaled my own.

To change the subject, I looked at Emily; though it wasn't much a better topic, I choked out, "And . . . Sam . . . Sam was in a car accident. He's not gonna make it."

I glanced at the Chief. "How about you go home, Charlie? I'm sure Bells will call you, if she hasn't already."

_Totally not happening, _I nagged myself, but I figured it was the best way to make him leave—at least for now.

I watched as Emily wailed and dropped to the ground, clutching and taking Sue with her as she began to chant, "No, no, no."

The elders looked alarmed and suspicious, and shocked disbelief colored everyone else's faces. With Charlie having been on the plane with them, the elders wouldn't have been able to tell them more—some of the parents didn't even know about us shifting . . . yet. I had a feeling we would be telling them soon.

Charlie was shocked, clearly understanding. "Oh god, I'm sorry. Yeah . . . I'll . . . I'll go home." He walked up to my dad and squeezed his shoulder, then walked over to Sue, hesitating before doing the same.

"I'm probably going to start booking plane tickets," he mentioned. "I don't want that goddamn family around my daughter. And don't apologize for calling _him_ that, Jake. He is a fucking cunt."

I laughed, and even Demetri chuckled. It felt as though it had been ages since I had actually laughed, and it felt great in light of recent events. I had never heard Charlie swear except for "damn," and being the Chief of Police that he was, he asked about the new "guys." We merely told him they were Sam's friends from Hoquiam.

Paul and Quil brought our trucks for everyone; only some of us would meet the Volturi at Taha Aki's cabin, which was actually near the Rez. Jared, Leah, and Emily were going to stay with Sam and Embry, while Colin and Brady were going home and explaining to the parents about us shifting along with the recent events.

The first thing I did when we got inside of Taha Aki's cabin was grab my dad and just squeeze the shit out of him. I moved onto Quil, Paul, and then Seth as I explained what happened. I was happy to see that they were all doing okay.

Felix and Demetri stayed with us inside, while a couple of guards were outside ensuring no one came near this place.

I looked around and didn't see Caius or Bella. I quickly shook hands with Demetri. It was a little awkward for me—okay, it was completely repulsive—but he aided us, and the fact he had been watching Bella for six months _without_ eating her, did help my opinion of him. Just a little.

As Demetri called Caius to make sure they hadn't run into any trouble, for "Caius is never late," Goose burst through the door with a smile on his face. Behind him was Caius . . . with Bella in his arms. There was a small smile on his face too, though his eyes had a tiny bit of concern in them.

But what was really welcoming was Bella in his arms . . . sweating and groaning.

* * *

**CAIUS VOLTURI**

Isabella slipped out of her coma when we were getting ready to depart the Cullen residence. Jasper had swung his head toward her before she let out a blood-curdling scream. She immediately snapped her mouth shut and gritted her teeth.

We all knew the process was complete agony. Some would say it felt like you were burning, yet we all knew it was so much more than that. Although akin to flames licking the flesh off your bones, it was more comparable to an inferno turning you inside out _whilst_ engulfing your body from within. The waves of pure lava continued to wash over you—eating you—as it became more insatiable and your body began to harden—entombing you. Over time, one generated the tolerance to the pain_—_almost to the point of welcoming it, for he or she would wish for death.

I hated the idea of changing anyone, yet I could still marvel that our bodies endured the process.

Jasper said he was helping her, granted he could not rid her of the pain entirely. Isabella _should_ scream. I would rather she did.

We were slightly late when we met the Quileute, and I hated tardiness. I did not want them worrying about us, for I knew they certainly would with the current theme of drama and horror. The other shoe dropped quite a while ago for Taha Aki's people, and still, we were _all_ waiting for more.

Jacob approached Isabella in my arms and I held back my growl as he grazed her face and hair. I knew they were close, but I had worried he would hate her now that she was becoming his enemy. I did not care what he thought of me for changing her, whether he hated me or not, yet I did care about Isabella waking to find out that her best friend would not even speak to her. And although I did not like him touching her—forasmuch I was a . . . _mated_ vampire that did not like his mate touched by another man, one that was once attracted to her—it was very reassuring to see him do so as well.

I believed they should remain friends, but it could be a long time until he saw her again. Jacob would be the Alpha soon, and though he would have his plate full at such a young age, Isabella would not lose everyone from her human life. Aro would be pleased also—it was more than a great alliance between our worlds. I was actually partial to Jacob as the Alpha. He held himself well for being only 17 years old, and I could see him becoming as magnificent as Aki in the future.

Jacob looked back up from Isabella, met my gaze, and surprised me by sincerely saying, "Thank you. When things calm down, I'll come visit her in Italy. You'll have to tell her that for me, and I'll call whenever I can."

I nodded once and noted that Jacob could be reasonable—it was not always black and white with him_—_no matter how much we wished that it were.

I went to the couch and laid her down before shaking Aki's hand and grasping his shoulder. He was my best friend, and I was more than sorry that this happened and that he, with his people, would suffer for it.

I sat on the arm by Isabella's head while we began making plans.

The wolves did not want to leave, as they could not have the remaining 300 Quileute on the Reservation unguarded or the town of Forks unchecked, especially Isabella's father.

Even so, they would send a couple of the wolves at a time to check in on Isabella. Many argued with Jacob to go right after the funeral, seeing that he was her best friend and she may need to see a familiar face. Jacob did not want to leave too soon—for many reasons—and he claimed that I, along with others, would look after her until they could send someone from the pack. Moreover, he said, "She can take care of herself anyway."

That had me a little worried. _Why would he say that? What was she like? Is she a skilled fighter, or did he mean something else?_

I looked down at her and noticed the bruises were beginning to disappear. Carlisle had said she fought the others; hence, she must either be very brave and spirited or just plain foolish. However, I knew it could not be the latter, as it did not match Demetri's respect for her.

Aki announced he would stay here for a couple of weeks with Jacob. We decided that some of The Guard were going to try to find Maria again. They would check in with the wolves from time to time since they needed to coordinate, in case Maria came looking for her men or the Romanians happened to come to the United States.

We discussed the Cullens, how they would most likely die because the Volturi normally did not spare those who had exposed us. And unfortunately, it was not only up to me. A couple of the wolves wanted to witness the execution of the Cullens and Victoria. We came to an accord—they, the wolves and the transgressors, had two weeks.

We vampires also had to explain what Isabella would experience. Neither the wolves nor she had a clue how newborns could be volatile, which alone could not embody what one would feel. It was another thing added to my lists of worries. Isabella would be entirely confused, for she received a false image—an imitation—with the Cullens, and they had not explained the truth to her, even though she had once wanted to be changed.

After the Quileute quickly made and ate their disgusting dinner, Billy got an unexpected call.

Billy looked at his phone and quickly answered, "Embry?"

_"Billy . . ." _the boy on the end cleared his throat_ ". . . um, Charlie stopped by. He saw Sam and was freaking out. BAD. We didn't know what to do with him, so Leah actually had to knock him out, but he's gonna wake up sometime. And . . ." _he paused and sounded pained _". . . Sam doesn't . . . doesn't look so good. We need to figure out if one of us can . . . maybe . . . I'm sorry, but uh . . . when you guys can, will you come over here ASAP?"_

With tears in his eyes, Billy answered quietly, "Yes, of course. We'll be there soon."

When he hung up it, utter silence enveloped us.

Billy cleared his throat. "We should go. If there is anything else, we'll call each other."

The wolves stood gravely as Demetri spoke, "Goose has a gift that could help with Bella's father."

"What?" I asked, grinding my teeth. Although I knew I heard him and the boy correctly, I wanted to be ignorant for once.

"Charlie Swan is Bella's father and was on the plane with them. He believed he was going to see her in Italy. It was the only way the elders could get him away from Forks."

I stood up. Demetri knew that was not what I meant. I knew who Charlie Swan was! A part of me wanted to meet the man.

I was absolutely fuming at Demetri's offer and the sheer stupidity of his reply. "Gregory's gift has drawbacks for humans! Her father could have dreams, déjà vu and maybe even retain his memory in the future. And, we could not keep doing it to the man or he would go insane! Do not get me wrong, I am thankful that you all care for him—_he is my mate's father_—but now we must take him with us." I shook my head in frustration. I knew as a father he would never give up, and I did not want this for him if we could have helped it.

"He may keep coming back, even with Isabella's staged death," I added. "He is a police officer—Chief at that! Therefore, he is not an idiot, especially after looking at the evidence and the events of the day. And even if he believes your legends are only folklore, he could come to the conclusions down the line."

I rubbed my face and sighed heavily before looking at Billy. "Gregory can do it this one time, but if Isabella's father comes back with questions, you _will_ call us. Though we will not kill him, if he figures out too much, he will need to be changed. I am sorry, but that is the Law. That may actually be considered bending the Law because we do not give warnings."

I shook my head again, this time in aggravation with myself. I have been apologizing more times today than I ever have. I knew that Aro would give me a hard time for this, not only because of the Law, but also because this was another first for me—I did not give warnings.

The woman—I believe her name was Sue—looked scared and even more heartbroken than before. I remember Demetri said she was dating the Chief of Police, and I immediately felt like a jerk. I could have worded that better and maybe . . . even had changed my tone.

Jacob looked at me and nodded. "We will call you if that happens. After Goose uses his gift on him, we'll take him back to his own house and he'll wake up in bed. I know you said you'd stay for 36 hours, but you can leave after we take care of Charlie and make it to Italy before the sun comes up."

He walked towards Isabella and touched her hair again. "I'll go to the airport with Goose and whoever's coming with him to see you guys off. Is an hour good enough?"

I nodded.

Jacob quickly kissed her cheek, and then they were gone.

**********= IIVIII = **

We had just arrived in Volterra.

With Isabella safely in my arms, the elevator doors opened and we all stepped out, turning to head to the throne room. Only to halt in our tracks as we were greeted with Aro and Marcus already waiting in the hallway.

I grumbled inwardly. _Of course we were! They had no patience when it came to meeting Isabella._

Aro had a gleeful smile hiding behind his clasped hands. "Ah, the now mated one returns!"

I glared at him. He was practically bouncing in excitement.

"You will never say 'never' again, brother," he chortled, grinning. "Adam, Ethan, escort the Cullens and the Denali Coven to their rooms."

When they left, Aro clapped. "Come. We set up a room for Isabella across from yours." He waved The Guard off flippantly, not giving them a glance. "Leave Victoria in our study, we will get to her later. Demetri and Felix, you two come with us. It is story time!"

As The Guard walked past him, he touched either their hand or neck. It was second nature for him—being inquisitive—and his demeanor did not even change with what he read from them. However, he did not touch the four of us, and I had to wonder why.

We went up six more floors to the room that was now Isabella's. I laid her down on the bed and stood beside it. I inclined my chin and readied myself; there would be more quips about me finding my mate.

"May I read her?" Aro suddenly asked.

I think everyone's eyebrows shot up. It was extremely surprising for those of us in the room as Aro never asked for permission. And it was rare that you ever told him no.

I nodded.

He touched her ankle gently, and closed his eyes.

"Fascinating," he marveled with eyes still closed. "What do you get Marcus? Is she your descendant?"

"Yes," Marcus answered. Then, in awe, he said, "And she is yours."

Aro shot back up. "What?"

He quickly grabbed Marcus's hand and we all waited, enraptured. We had believed Aro did not have any descendants.

"And so she is," he announced in wonder. "How is it possible? I only had one other living relative and he died very young." He waved his hand dismissively as he stared at Isabella. "I know we do not know. It is just . . . unbelievable! However, it is . . . marvelous."

Aro looked to me. "You are divorcing Athenodora, correct?"

I nodded.

"Good. You will not spoil this. Now, come, come, all of you give me your hands. Marcus and I will leave you to it, Caius. We each have much to think about."

Of course, Aro saved my hand for last. He laughed and laughed, and even snorted once. "Silly of you to think you could resist her! Look at her, Caius. She is not only beautiful, may even be one of the most stunning vampires out of us all, but she has beguiled so many of our kind already. Isabella was destined to be one of us, Caius, and you cannot escape fate—that would be the only theory that fits as to why you recognized her as your mate while she was human. Still, we will research it."

A small pitying smile appeared on his face. "And you are right, she does resemble Aglaia. Oh, and the name! Aglaia means 'beauty' and was one of the three charities in Greek Mythology, was it not?"

I nodded stiffly. He was correct. It was one of the reasons that Isabella being my mate was so frightening.

"I am ecstatic for the two of you," Aro said, before he paused and grinned. "You will be glorious together. I approve. Do you need to feed before we go?"

I shook my head. "No. When Isabella is finished with her change, I will accompany her."

"We will be back in 40 hours then."

Aro gave a parting smile and before he flitted out the door, he gave Isabella one more glance and a satisfied nod. Marcus nodded and gave me a small smile—my sire was happy for me. Demetri and Felix bowed and grinned before departing as well, leaving me _alone_ for the first time . . . with Isabella. I was a little nervous for the first time in over 2000 years.

**********= IIVIII = **

The past couple days were much slower than I had ever experienced in the past.

I was both excited and afraid for Isabella to wake up, and from the sound of her heart rate, she only had a couple more hours before doing so.

After I explained what was happening to her—trying to ease her into what she would feel when she awoke—I would talk to her about nothing at all. Mainly, I told her about Volterra and Italy. I wanted us to get to know each other, but not like this; I would wait to tell her about me. She and I could learn of _and_ from each other— together—and a part of it being that . . . I had no idea what I was doing. I have not shared myself for centuries nor shared my past willingly.

Isabella had not screamed in the past day, yet I could hear and see her choking it back. Aro was impressed. Marcus looked worried. They had also brought Jasper here to help control her, if he must, and he was looking apprehensive. I pondered over many things. Too many things.

One was Victoria. Aro told me that she and her deceased mate, James, had in fact worked for Maria from the Southern Vampire Wars. The last time Victoria talked to her was over two years ago, and James was actually Maria's tracker. The Guard was going to check in Southern Brazil; however, we all knew that they would not find a trace of Maria.

I thought about Jacob and all that he said to me before we left.

I was not seeking a blessing or even an approval from him, yet he gave me both.

Jacob was greatly relieved there was someone to look after Isabella, someone who would also help her transition into being a vampire. He inquired about her diet and only asked us to give Isabella a choice. I had tried to tell him what she would feel and that I did not want my mate uncomfortable—for she would be. Nevertheless, I could not force her on a certain diet, even if I had a preference. Jacob agreed with me, though he commented it would break Isabella to kill a human and reminded me that I would need to be there to comfort her if it happened. He also suggested we find the lowest of lowlives.

It was then I realized he thought of her as a long lost sister. He might have loved her before, but this familial love was stronger than what it would have been if they had in fact become a couple. He was neither angry nor jealous. He was only truly sad he could not be in her life completely.

It made me respect Jacob all the more.

In addition, he had warned me that she would be stubborn, that I would need to be patient, or sometimes, even blunt with her, and that she may even forgive the Cullens. But she can be surprising, so expect what you do not normally expect. I chuckled at that.

Jacob had also given me a duffel bag with some of her things from her own room—her favorite books, her iPod, a teddy bear from her father, a quilt from her grandmother, photos, and even sheet music because she had picked up playing the piano.

It was at that moment Demetri came and gave me the bracelet he had found at the cabin. He explained he saw her always wearing it and the charms were recently added by the whole pack. Jacob was more than grateful for Demetri finding it, as he had given her that handmade bracelet for her graduation. It was just this past birthday that the pack had added the carved charms.

The bracelet was more than just unique, but a symbol for Isabella and the wolves as well. She was a part of the pack—even still. It would have to be fixed since the leather was broken, yet I could easily do that before returning it to her.

Furthermore, Jacob had given me his cell phone number, telling me to call him—even for the "Bells hotline"—and informed me that he would still be calling me "Head Leech." He reminded me so much of Aki—humorous but could be serious when he needed to be. They were the type of people you could almost bask in because they are just warm and refreshing.

I felt indebted to him for all of it.

So, when I had gotten the phone call from Aki yesterday, I felt a crime had been committed. Jacob was the one that decided to put Sam out of his misery. Aki had tried to persuade Jacob into letting him end Sam's life, but Jacob argued vehemently that it should and would be himself. And so it was. A young man had finished his own mentor. True that it was gracious and admirable of him, but still . . . I had wished it would not be him as he had enough bearing on his shoulders.

I thought about how and when I would tell Isabella about the now deceased Alpha, how she would not be able to attend his funeral or even visit his grave until she could control herself.

It was all a goddamn shame.

When I heard Isabella's heart quicken, pounding ferociously within her chest, I swiftly moved off the bed to the door and stood between Aro and Jasper.

It felt as if the world stopped in time with Isabella's heart as we waited with bated breaths and stood stock-still, waiting for her to open her eyes.

As I had known, Aro was correct. Isabella was stunning. She was already beautiful before, and becoming a vampire only slightly changed one's features—lengthening and thickening the hair, along with the eyebrows and eyelashes. It added a couple inches to her height and filled her body in all the tauntingly correct places—places that no one but _I_ should ever see. I had to stop myself from shifting my weight when I took in her lips. The bottom had a bit more pout, a dusty rose in color against her skin of white marble and alabaster.

I realized this woman, with her looks and the personality I had gathered from the others, could get anything she really wanted.

And I stood no chance whatsoever.

Despite the fact that I could not take my eyes off her, from the corner of my eye I could see Jasper shaking from trying to contain his laughter.

Isabella's eyes snapped open.

She was off the bed in a second, immediately cloaking herself.

Before any of us could finish our gasps of surprise and awe, I was knocked back _with so much force_ that she and I went through the door, into the hallway, before hitting the stone floor . . .

. . . and dropping four stories below.

_Oh, fuck._

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_***Aglaia** = a – GLAY – a /a – GLIE – a. I am pronouncing it like a – GLIE – a in my head._

_I hope you're not too angry with me for killing off Sam . . . And yes, he is dead. Like Jacob said, this isn't the _Underworld—_no Lycan-Vampire half-breeds here._

**_AdVOCATE:_**_ Paw Prints and Other Distractions by Danni'n'Taylor4Eva, Bella & Paul_**  
**


	9. Reality

_**THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS, ALERTS, AND FAVORIT-ING(?) OF THIS FIC :D It's humbling and really encouraging. I can't thank you enough! **_

_Bear hugs to my betas, DreaC and Twimarti! They're fuck awesome! (3/8/11)_

_**To those who have been reading "In Love and War" from the very beginning**— I think more than half of you have read this chapter, but some readers haven't since I pulled it for editing. Although I added little things here and there, you don't have to reread it.  
_

_**WARNING: **Contains disturbing scenes (human deaths) and mentions pedophilia (and no, this story doesn't have it, nor will I ever write a fic with it.)_

* * *

_— "Aquarius"_ by Within Temptation —

* * *

_Chapter Nine  
_

**Reality**

**ISABELLA SWAN**

I was extremely grateful to be out of that void, that damn shadow land where I knew I was alive, yet it felt like I didn't really exist. It felt as though I was nothing but a shadow without the body that it was supposed to follow—aimless and insignificant.

I welcomed the pain I felt when I first came back to this bleak reality, for it meant I wasn't stuck. That is, until I realized what was happening, and then I was a little pissed. I kept having decisions made for me, decisions that should have been _mine_ to make; yet, no one even asked me if I wanted to be changed.

_I_ didn't even know if I wanted to be changed anymore.

Why would I want to live an eternity by myself, without Jacob, without my dad—not having a family . . . kids, even? Sure, I didn't want kids before, but I had changed so much in only a year, had realized how much your perspective could change over time. I could have amended my opinion of kids with age and the tangible option. And, there were some things, things that just happened—that were abrupt and brief—but completely altered everything about a person.

Now, it was too fucking late. Nothing would be as it was, not after _all_ of my circumstances.

I shifted my thoughts and focused on the asshole who bit me. At least, I was pretty sure it was the one guy—the vampire who was always too close for comfort, stroking my hair with his stone hands, while speaking into my ear with his frigid voice. Granted, halfway through the change, his cold tone had turned into something softer, even alluring with the pleasant accent I didn't recognize.

Meanwhile, the bond I felt with him, with my sire, was only getting stronger and more distinct. Besides the excruciating pain, I was more aware of him and had actually started to sense things about him—where he was, what he was feeling. It felt as though he was a part of me, like he was my lifeline and . . . I guess, in a way, he was.

But that didn't mean I had to like it.

I was already angry with him for not asking me if I wanted to be changed, and I found myself beginning to despise him for more, for the other things he seemed to be doing to me.

I didn't like that it was some faceless stranger I didn't even know, and he didn't know me! I tried not to be suspicious of him, but I couldn't help it. Why would he change me when the Cullens wouldn't? Did he want something from me? There had to be a reason why he did it, seeing that I obviously wasn't a meal for him. Yet, I couldn't fathom why he would want me. No one changed a person without a reason, so there had to be one.

I scorned that we were now linked by venom—_his_ venom—and that I could actually feel it coursing within me. _Throughout_ me.

And I _loathed_ that I felt really proud of that little fact.

The only way I could describe it was that something was rejoicing inside me, which was bizarre and appalling. I didn't understand it. I _couldn't _understand it. I had to wonder if he was making me feel that way, or if it was simply because he was my sire. Now, what I did _know_ was that he didn't have a gift. I didn't how I knew that, I just did. Even more, I _knew_ what I was feeling was coming from him or maybe . . . _to_ him.

God, I was so confused.

I have had enough shit done to me; was more really necessary if he, and whoever else was here, was supposed to be helping me? I couldn't protect myself in that cabin, or even with him, but I'd be damned if I didn't try—especially since from this moment on, for the rest of my _existence_, I actually could.

As I flew at him using what I would guess was my gift, we collided, and I finally got a real good look at him. He was utterly perfect with his unique snow white hair and chiseled face that was refined with a slightly rough edge, contrasting nicely with the dark tailored clothes. His stunning, crimson eyes were wide in shock, and his ideal lips were parted from taking a gasp.

I snarled as I thought about my own features now that I was just like him. I might be beautiful on the outside, but I was ruined. I was more fearful than I had ever been before. I was bitter, and I had never been. I was . . . stained—tarnished—in a way the majority of people were not.

I was no longer _me_.

We stopped falling with a big 'whap' on a rugged, stone floor of what looked like a library.

I sat up and looked around. It was enormous, being three or four stories tall. It had multiple balconies, spiral stairs, and two gigantic, carved stone fireplaces—both positioned on either end of the magnificent room. It was dark with various shades of reds, browns, and gold. There were leather couches and suede chairs scattered throughout, along with chaises in the nooks. Every inch of the walls were covered in old, hardcover books, save for the seven large curtained arch windows that were all on one side.

I noted it was sometime in the afternoon. And the color . . . the light . . . the wisps of dust . . .

"It is very beautiful, is it not?" my sire asked, laying his hands on my hips.

I swung my head towards him and blinked. I had totally forgotten what I was doing.

He had a small smile on his face as he looked at me expectantly.

I narrowed my eyes and grabbed his hands. He looked a little surprised by the contact, yet his smile grew. It quickly vanished when I threw his hands off me.

I leaned down while planting my hands on either side his head and inched closer. Lowly, I warned, "Don't _ever _touch me."

Dear God, my voice, it was . . . striking—both cutting and beautiful. But again, it wasn't _me_.

Even though I was in his face with what I hoped was a menacing glare, inside I was screaming that he and I were too close. Yet, I wouldn't show my discomfort, and definitely not with someone whom I didn't even know and continued to piss me off. All the same, a part of me_ knew_ he wouldn't hurt me. _Ever_. I could trust him . . . and oddly, and _without_ my doing, I did. _A little._ The involuntary feeling only infuriated me more.

He appeared to be a little pained as his hands flew up and he breathed out. "I apologize."

He looked down nervously, swallowing hard, even more hurt. Although he tried to hide it, I caught it.

I took the time to study him. He seemed sincere, but I couldn't comprehend why he was hurt. I could tell that he was European, though what specifically, I had no clue. I vaguely remembered Jacob saying something about him, or maybe he was referring to someone else. I hated that I couldn't remember, and I wished I knew why I was so drawn to him—why I wanted to trust him with every inch of me . . . and know every inch of _him_.

"What are doing to me?" I asked sharply.

His eyes shot up to mine. "Pardon me?"

"What. Are. You. Doing. To. Me?" I asked again, enunciating each word as though I were speaking to a child. "Why are you making me feel this?"

I was confused and scared. More precisely, I felt hollow. I wanted him to embrace me, to comfort and reassure me. I was more than a little attracted him—it seemed as if he, _and only he_, could fill this emptiness.

_But I don't want it! _I screamed internally_._ These feelings weren't my own. They couldn't be . . . I didn't know him.

His eyes roamed over my face as he chewed on that damn appealing bottom lip. Then, he nodded to himself. "I presume you are _not_ talking about being a newborn, only what you are feeling towards me?"

I nodded once.

"It is . . . not exactly me. Well, it is, though I am not doing it on purpose," he quickly added before pausing. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. With great hesitation, he continued slowly, "What you are feeling is . . . because . . . we are . . ."

My head snapped in the direction of the door.

". . . mates."

I heard him finish softly, sounding somewhat confused, but my attention was on the one sound that made my head hazy and my stomach clench in anticipation for what was to come.

Heartbeats.

Food.

_Mine._

Flames engulfed my throat as it began to throb. I was already up and running; the library doors swung open before I even reached them. I turned right, flying down the ornate hallway as I followed the delicious sound. I had to wipe my face since the venom was pooling in my mouth _so rapidly_, I couldn't swallow it all at once.

I heard my sire yell for me, but I chose to ignore him.

Three hundred yards away, I could see a gorgeous, wide-eyed vampire standing in front of a group of fourteen humans. Yet, I only had eyes for my targets—I _knew_ exactly which ones I would be going after.

The female vamp moved out of my way and the whole group didn't see me coming. Nor did the man and woman I wanted as I hit the back of their knees and wrapped my arms around each of their necks as they buckled down. I tilted their heads back and to the side so they could rest on my shoulders.

I didn't hesitate to bite into the man's soft neck and start forcefully pulling blood out of him. I vaguely registered that I snarled from the pleasure I felt from the warm liquid sliding down my throat, even down my neck as I greedily drank from him.

When the screams began, I looked up and saw my sire, the model, and five more vampires taking the blood of those trying to escape. Jasper was standing rigidly with his eyes closed further down the hall, and a few people passed out at his feet.

I continued to watch my surroundings as I dropped the man and hissed angrily in the squirming woman's ear, "You and your husband are disgusting. You call yourself a woman, but you're a goddamn sick bitch." I ran my nose over her throat, inhaling her luscious human scent that tinged with fear. Against her throat, I whispered, "And you will never hurt another child again."

I glanced at her eyes, glad to see she had the same terrified expression I was sure her young victims had. Then, and only then, did I bite into her buttery neck—almost completely through it from my anger.

I felt eyes on me and peeked around. Most of the vamps were looking at me in surprise, but they looked away instantly and carried on feeding.

My eyes suddenly locked onto the darkened, ruby pair that had most likely been watching me the whole time. A tiny thrill shot down my spine as his eyes darkened further.

I quickly closed my eyes to end our connection. I wasn't ready for this, and I didn't know when I would be—_if_ I would be. I knew what he told me before was entirely true—I could _feel_ it. Still, I hoped that maybe we were both wrong. He wouldn't want me if or when he learned everything that had happened to me.

I let go of the woman and stood still in the now macabre hallway. I didn't want to open my eyes. I just killed two people and _didn't_ feel bad about it, which in itself was the only the thing disturbing to me. I knew how I should feel, but I couldn't bring myself to feel that way. I was all too happy to get rid of people like them.

Then, I realized that the other humans were just normal people and not like the ones I had just taken, making me more distressed. Even though I knew this was the normal vampire diet, I didn't want to see the evidence. I did want see their empty, lifeless bodies.

No one had moved while I stood there—for eight minutes—at war with myself.

I felt more blood trickling down my neck under the unfamiliar shirt I was wearing. I wondered who had changed me and began to panic. _Did _he _change me? __Oh, God, please, don't tell me that he did. _I began to get angry. What kind of bastard would do that when I was practically asleep? What gave him the right?_  
_

I suddenly heard someone walking forward and speaking in an accent similar, but not quite the same, as my sire's. "Isabella, the guards are going to clean this up. How about we take a walk to the Kings' study, and we can speak, yes? Or would rather go to the green house?"

I couldn't contain the tremor in my voice as I answered, "The green house, please."

At the moment, I felt entirely too claustrophobic. Although better with the subsiding of the fire in my throat, I still wanted to get away. I needed to get away. But I also knew I was in Volterra with the Volturi—my sire told me as much. So, I didn't think leaving was an option . . . yet. And, I did want some answers first.

I heard and smelt the speaker, my sire, Jasper, and one other walk past me to my left side.

"This way," he said.

I turned away from the scene, finally opening my eyes.

Jasper had a reassuring smile for me.

My sire, whose name I still couldn't remember, had a scowl planted on his face. However, I could see that his eyes held concern and . . . awe.

_He really shouldn't scowl,_ I thought. He was still eye-catching, of course, but the scowl made him look awful and it actually didn't match him. To me, it seemed out of place. I shook my head at myself. _How would I know that? And who gave a damn?_

The vampire that I guessed was the speaker had black, shoulder length hair and filmy red eyes. He was definitely the oldest of them, in both vampire years and the frozen state of his early 40s; still handsome in a way, but there was something . . . calculating, almost malevolent about him. Off the bat, I knew that no one should ever double cross this man or even displease him, but I also _knew_ he could be kind when he wanted to be—when he had a_ reason _to be. For the time being, he seemed very pleased, and surprisingly, slightly worried as well.

The other man was in his mid-30s with longer black hair, and he seemed depressed. He did give me a small smile, and I knew immediately that he was pleasant enough, very caring to those he loved, and attentive in everything he did, even with the bored expression clouding his face.

"Excuse me," said a woman. I realized it was the model vamp as she walked to my side quickly. Too quickly.

I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't. I flinched from her speed and proximity.

Of course, everyone noticed.

"I am sorry," she said quietly, before she started digging in a couple bags I saw her carrying earlier. "Here, I bought you some clothes while I was out. You may want to change your shirt. There is a washroom right beside you to clean yourself as well."

She tentatively handed me the shirt with a welcoming and sympathetic smile that didn't hold an ounce of pity.

I took the shirt. "Thank you . . ." I trailed off, wanting to know her name.

"Heidi. My name is Heidi. We can talk more in a little while. We women need to stick together since there are so few of us here."

I nodded. "Thank you, Heidi."

I immediately liked her. I _knew_ she was genuine and ultimately just cared for everyone. Her personality reminded me of Esme.

I thought about her and the rest of the Cullens and looked around. Jasper was here, so I took a guess that the other ones were somewhere here, too. A part of me couldn't wait to see them.

When I grabbed the doorknob, I immediately winced from crushing it. "I'm sorry."

"It is all right," replied my sire as he walked towards me. "It happens all the time with newborns."

The heavy wooden door creaked open before he could reach it, and I curtly claimed, "I got it."

Everyone was shocked, and the oldest vampire looked like a giddy little schoolboy.

I didn't really understand my gift, but I knew I was the one doing all of it—the library doors, this door. My obvious gift was more than handy right now, as it not only kept me from destroying something, but it also made me feel more secure. I would have to play with it as soon as I could to get a good feel for it and just in case I needed it to defend myself.

Three shirts later, I was walking behind the older three with Jasper beside me. He kept peering at me from the corner of his eye.

I rolled my eyes. "Stop, Jasper. Whatever you want say, just say it." I was sure he was going to say something about my diet, and I really didn't want to hear it.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he started. "First, I'm sorry that I attacked y—"

I spun to face him and put a hand up. "Stop! Don't," I warned. "I know you're sorry, and I never blamed you anyway. I understood that it's in your nature, Jasper. I _was _your natural food source, damn it. I knew that. If you can't tell, I _do_ know!" I poked his chest with my finger.

"I'm not changing my diet," I informed him before he could reply. "So don't say anything because sick bastards like that should die, _and they will._ You know, it's funny; I don't even blame you guys for leaving. Sure, it hurt that none of you said goodbye, _even you_." I jabbed him harder and started walking towards him. "But I could understand why you all left. I was a pain in the ass. Plus, you really shouldn't be playing with your food. I get that now, didn't any of you?

"You know, Fuckward is going to get what's coming to him, too." My voice shook from my increasing anger. "Did you know he made me feel like I wasn't worth it? _That I 'wasn't good for him'? _That he didn't even want me!"

My sire was already hissing, but I knew that it wasn't directed toward me.

Jasper was backed up against the wall, and I got in his face and growled, my anger coiling. "But if there's anything you will be sorry for, _it's for not killing Victoria_."

Saying her name aloud made the stressed band within me snap, and the wall behind him and all the stained glass windows in the corridor exploded.

All that followed was silence._ Eerie silence . . .  
_

Snapping out of it, I cursed myself. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

I knew my gift was similar to telekinesis, but it wasn't entirely that. The things I _knew_, the things that flitted into my brain and were sporadic had nothing to do with telekinesis. I _sensed_ things.

I felt like I was losing what little bit I had of myself, losing more of my control and my focus. _Is this really what it's supposed to be like?_

I rubbed my face while I tried to think back. I couldn't remember any one of them telling me this. While going through the change, I had tried to keep my memories by focusing on them—my experiences, my dreams, the faces of my family—but I still lost a lot of it.

I chuckled without humor as I thought of what Fuckward had said to me in the woods. Something I _could_ remember clearly: "_You're human_—_your memory is nothing more than a sieve."_

Jacob was right. "_He was nothing more than a pompous and condescending ass." _My mind wasn't completely a sieve until I became a vampire, or as Jacob would say, a "bloodsucker."

I started laughing in hysteria, for no good reason at all. _Oh, the sardonic irony! _

Everyone else was dusting off the shards of glass while looking at me as though I was insane.

_God, maybe I am going crazy! That's just great. I'm a psychotic vampire, a lurker of the night that preys_—and snacks—_on sick fucks. A dark vigilante of sorts. I wonder what that makes me, maybe . . . "Bampellic?" A psychotic, vampire Batgirl named Bella._

Still snickering at my idiotic inner monologue, I explained to those watching me in concern. "I was just thinking about . . . what the Asstard told me . . . that was totally ironic."

The eyes of the four men narrowed in anger.

I sighed as my shoulders sagged, losing my inane mirth. "I'm really sorry about the wall and the windows. I . . . I can't seem to rein that, or my emotions, in. I am extremely sorry."

I gazed at them beseechingly for understanding and hoped that they weren't too angry with me. I also wished that I knew their names, although now I could remember the painting in Carlisle's study. These three were the leaders, the Kings. Yet, I still couldn't remember their names.

_They really should introduce themselves,_ I thought while eying them.

The older one, the one I thought was more of the leader answered, "It is quite all right, mia figlia. You are a newborn."

I thought about what he said . . . _mia figlia_. "What do you mean 'my daughter'?" I asked.

He smiled widely. "Sapete la lingua Italiana?

My eyebrows scrunched together as I grasped what he asked. "I only remember a little bit of Italian, and I'm pretty sure it was my mom that went to a class for a couple of months."

"Wonderful!" he exclaimed, clapping. "We speak several different languages in the Volturi, mainly English and Italiano." He gestured to my sire. "Caius knows the most languages out of all us, if you'd like to learn Italiano thoroughly, or any other language for that matter."

He put his hand on his chest. "My name is Aro, and you . . . you are la mia _unica_ nota discendente—my _only_ known descendant. My wife and I would like to officially adopt you as our daughter and make you Il Mio Erede, if you will accept it."

I titled my head to the side. _Did he just say . . . make me . . . _'his heir'_? How the hell did he know we were related, or specifically, that I was 'his _only _descendant'? Wouldn't my dad or mom be one of his, too?_

Aro gestured to the other dark-haired vampire. "Marcus has a gift that recognizes and understands relationships. He also keeps track of our multiple surnames. To him, you are what we refer to as La Sua Cambiato Discendente—his changed descendant—along with Charles Schwann. Charles is Marcus's La Sua Erede, his heir, as well. And Peter Whitlock is Caius's Cambiato Discendente and Erede.

"Now, what is fascinating is that we believed my line had ended with my nephew long before the Common Era. Yet, Marcus saw a white line connecting both you and me as well."

He smiled warmly and shook his head. "You do not have to answer me and my wife at the moment. The offer for adoption does not ever cease, nor does the Erede title. Though there is much you will need to know for that specific designation, as it cannot be taken lightly nor taken back once accepted."

_Oh, thank God!_ That was a lot of information to take in, and I had no idea what in the hell to say or even what to think.

I nodded to him. "Thank you. I . . . will think about it."

I would too, since I was beginning to question if I could even leave this place. It seemed as if they expected me to stay here. I quickly glanced at . . . _Caius_, who was still watching me.

_Yeah, maybe they really do expect me to stay here,_ I mused.

I suddenly realized that I didn't have anywhere to go. I was homeless, penniless, and I couldn't be around humans—not yet.

_Shit._

"What is it, Isabella?" Caius attentively asked while slowly taking a step toward me.

I stepped back and saw another sting of pain flash across his face.

"I . . . I just—" I began panicking and gasping for air. "I just realized that . . . that I have nowhere else to go."

I dug the heels of my hands in my eyes. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't, making it all the more frustrating—painful and sad, really. Already I was beginning to hate this; I couldn't believe I had wanted to become a vampire.

"Shh," my sire urged. "Everything will be okay."

He tried to touch my face, but I flinched back. He dropped his hand as he continued. "You have all of us, and you have the wolves. They all wish to remain your friends and be a part of your existence. A couple of them will be here within two weeks to see you. They are allowed to come here and visit. When you have the control, you . . . you can visit them as much as you would like. I will fly you there myself." He leaned down and searched my face, before his eyes locked with mine.

_Garnet . . . _

He offered me a sad smile and without looking away, he softly spoke, "Aro, may we finish this talk later in the evening or in the morning? I am going to show Isabella to her room and tell her the news. She can call Jacob there and take the time to process everything."

"Late morning would most likely be a good idea," Aro answered.

I had to rip my gaze from Caius's and even step away from him to look at Aro as he approached me. I hadn't known Caius and I were moving closer to each other. My body was still protesting in of spite of the small distance. I saw him shift in my peripheral as if he were uncomfortable as well.

"If you need anything . . ." Aro started ". . . _anything_ at all, Isabella, let one of us know and we will get it for you. Do not worry about a thing. Whether it is official or not, my wife and I see you as our daughter and you will be treated as such. Sulpicia will be joining us in the morning, for she is excited to speak with you." Then, he finished with bowing his head. "Goodnight, mia figlia."

Marcus also bowed, giving Caius a small grin as he put his arm around Jasper.

Before they both walked away, I softly apologized, "I'm sorry, Jasper. I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"I know, Bella. Please don't apologize to me about any of it. You have the right to be angry, and you can keep taking it out on me down the road, especially during your training."

With that, they were gone.

I looked up at Caius. "Training?"

"Yes. Aro's sister, Didyme, who also was Marcus's mate, was killed in Spain 1600 years ago. Since then, every single one of the Volturi's changed descendants and their mates are taught to fight—here in Volterra—with _and_ without their gifts. Whenever Jasper or Peter are here, they lead the training. Charles will be called for you to meet as well. Having changed descendants is a big deal for all of us in the Volturi. This especially, for Aro did not have a descendant. Thus, he had no Erede."

He turned and waited for me before we started walking toward the elevator. I made sure to keep some distance between us as I thought about how funny it was that there was a _Charles Schwann_, immediately making me think of my dad and what he was probably thinking right now. I quickly pushed him out of mind. I would be talking to Jake soon, and I could get some answers about my dad then.

I noted that Caius and I fell into step, one of us neither ahead nor behind the other. Although we both seemed uncomfortable, we easily strolled next to each other in silence.

"So . . ." I trailed off, avoiding the humongous elephant in the room while trying to recall what we were talking about. "Being Aro's heir would mean what?"

He glanced at me before looking away and explaining, "If something were to happen to Aro, you are not only his heir, you are his successor. You would rule with us."

I stopped abruptly.

"What?" I shrieked. "Why would Aro ask me? Couldn't he choose someone else, someone he knew, even if they're not related?"

Caius tilted his head to the side, as if he was thinking, and then . . . he smiled—not just any smile, but a full-blown smile. I couldn't help but suck in a small breath. He was wholesomely handsome, gorgeous. The smile completely transformed his face, and you could see the mischievous man underneath.

He nodded as he contemplated aloud. "Yes, I guess he could. However, what Aro wants, he gets. And Aro wanted and chose you. His gift is a different kind of telepathy. With one bare touch" —he skimmed a finger across his palm, and I tried not to think of it— "he knows_ all_ of your memories and thoughts. Well, except for you. He could not read you, even when you were still human."

He smirked a little, and then continued. "Moreover, I know some of The Guard is fond of you because of Demetri's account and description of your personality. Aro knows you are powerful and already have The Guard behind you. What more you could ask for with your successor?"

_Yeah, that does make sense. But still…_ I grumbled inwardly. Now, not only could I feel the weight of my decision on my shoulders, but I had even more questions—mainly pertaining to The Guard and this Demetri. _I think I'll just have to say 'thank you, but no thank you' to Aro._

I began walking again, hurriedly trying to change the subject. "And you're related to Jasper, too?"

"No," he answered quickly. "He sired Peter 140 years ago, and they are best friends. I am partial to Jasper because he freed and spared Peter and his mate, Charlotte. You will meet them also." He had a reminiscent smile on his face this time, his eyes alight. "They are both something else—in a good way."

I didn't need my gift to know that he loved his descendant Peter _. . . and_ Charlotte.

_Charlotte . . . _I shook my head to dislodge the sudden jealousy.

We reached the elevators and Caius carried on. "Jasper only comes to Volterra when he is called upon, which is not often. And . . ." he hesitated ". . . and if you were wondering, yes, some of the Cullens are here, though not Alice or Edward."

He smirked. "Yet."

I was about to ask him where they were, but the elevator doors opened, and I recognized the female vampire standing inside; though, I couldn't put my finger on it.

_Where the hell would I have seen her?_ I asked myself, thinking how ridiculous it was to think I had seen her before.

Then I got it when I realized she was Native American. More precisely, she was Quileute.

I shook my head. _That can't be right. She's dead. _

I inwardly groaned. _Dear God, maybe I really am going crazy._

"You do recognize her," mumbled Caius. He turned to glare at her. "Damn it, Sarah, you were supposed to wait."

She stepped forward. "I couldn't. I needed to see her."

I looked between them, confused and shocked. _Wait . . . was it really her? I'm pretty sure 'Sarah' was her name._

I had to ask the red-eyed vampire, and it came out as a stutter. "M—Mrs. Bl—lack?"

She grinned. "Hello, Bella. You grew up beautifully, just as I knew you would. Although Billy and I are still good friends, I am no longer Mrs. Black. It's Sarah Aki. _Mrs. Taha Aki._"

* * *

_**Author's Note: **_

_**Yep! Jacob's mom! **I couldn't find it in the book where Jacob had told Bella that his mom's coffin was practically nailed shut_—_I only know it's in New Moon. So, he didn't actually see her body. _

_I did skip over the burning for three days; __I think we all have the idea, right? If you wanted that, I'm sorry. There is a reason I didn't include it, other than me finding it hard and tedious to look for synonyms and creative ways to describe burning without boring you while keeping to necessary details and withholding others. (Jeesh, that was a run-on sentence, eh?)_

_**Edward Quotes:  
**1. "You're not good for me, Bella." — New Moon, page 70, hardcover._  
_2. " You're human – your memory is no more than a sieve." — New Moon, pages 71-72, hardcover._

_I hope you weren't all expecting Bella to be a veggie vamp, that's not happening in this fic, but please let me know what you think._


	10. In Loving Memory

_**Editing Note:**__ This chapter was pulled in December for editing, and with it re-posted, it means that PTB is completely caught up! __I changed and added a good bit to this chapter__. I don't know if those of you who've read it before, remember what happened, but you might want to reread this. When I began editing, it just didn't feel right the way it was, and I've been away from Caius and Bella for too long (November, I think) that I just couldn't pick up where I left everything. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but that's how it is. Some details I had withheld for future chapters were just better suited in this one. Will you let me know what you think?_

_Also, a __**WARNING/SPOILER**__ to readers who don't like stories with different POVs__—__there are new ones here. I have my reasons, which some are at the end of the chapter. Though I hope to see you there, please don't read this is fic if you can't stand different POVs and have nothing nice or constructive to say. I understand that you have preferences__; __hence, the warning._

_**Apologies (a.k.a. excuses):** Please forgive me for how late I'm updating. I've been extremely busy with moving and selling my house, taking care of three kids, keeping a husband happy, and all the other crap life likes to dish out. I do have to be honest though, and say that I was terrified of posting this chapter. I hope I don't disappoint anyone.  
_

_A huge "Thank you" to everyone who has read this fic, and especially to those who've reviewed and added this to their favorites/alerts. You all are REALLY awesome._

_Thanks to my betas, TwiMarti and DreaC. You both are more than the best betas, but awesome women as well. CareMarie and Shirley007__—__I heart you, babes! Thank you for the much-needed encouragement. _

_All right... Onward!_

* * *

"_The Past" by Sevendust, featuring Chris Daughtry_

* * *

_Chapter Ten  
_

**In Loving Memory**

_Previously . . . _

_I had to ask the red-eyed vampire, and it came out as a stutter. "M—Mrs. Bl—lack?"_

_She grinned. "Hello, Bella. You grew up beautifully, just as I knew you would. Although Billy and I are still good friends, I am no longer Mrs. Black. It's Sarah Aki. _Mrs. Taha Aki."

**ISABELLA SWAN**

I stumbled back in absolute shock and disbelief, gasping and knocked to the point that I was on my ass. Although I could have righted myself, I hadn't tried; I had thrown my hands up to stave her and Caius from getting any closer. My mind screamed that this couldn't be right—that it _wasn't_ right. Something was wrong, entirely off kilter. Over and over my mind continued to screech . . . echo . . . until it went eerily silent.

I felt something within me snap back into place as I watched the two slump in relief. Only then did I recall, with a strange and slow clarity, what had happened and what I had done. There had been a sickening crack before she and Caius were whipped back and pressed against the wall and the shroud of invisibility had veiled my vision. All without a conscious thought.

My gift was useful, but I still couldn't control it, and I began to wonder if I even could.

I shook my head. _That's not the point right now._ _How was she here? When did this happen? _What _happened? Who . . .?_

I rubbed my face and tried to focus on one thing. _Flaming red. Mate. Erede. The Volturi. The Cullens. Doors . . . tons of them. _It all began churning in my head, making me wince from the sudden onslaught of images and info; as though someone tossed burdened piles of paper in the air of a cavernous hall, and I was both helpless and entranced to watch them fall and cruelly swirl.

_Mrs. Black . . . _I grabbed and held onto the name that flitted through my now ever-expanding mind. I hadn't really believed it to be her and was more than surprised I had even recognized her, since I couldn't remember when I saw her last. Like an old Polaroid, the fading was of her russet skin turned softly pallid white. The shadow of an outline exactly how I pictured her: long dark hair, high cheekbones, and almond-shaped eyes. In my mind—and standing before me—was a _changed_ snapshot of the frozen woman . . . who had died so long ago.

The still image perfectly captured _a second in time_.

For that was what pictures were, and what everything would be—a split second in the expanse of forever. A time . . . that already began to feel like another age, a distant and different life. It was one of simplicity and ignorance, of mud pies and fishing.

"Jake doesn't know, does he?" I sighed and shook my head. I knew the answer and tugged my hair; my hand was slightly trembling. "Of course, he doesn't. I know we talked about you—I remember it—and he never would've kept this from me if he knew."

My best friend's mother looked down, ashamed and nodding. "You're right, he doesn't know. Billy and I wanted—"

"Oh God, that's right. You said that you and Billy are still friends." I paused and then scoffed harshly. "No wonder! I remember now the elders never talked about you. They _wouldn't _talk about you; Billy especially wouldn't. Jake had to keep all of your photos hidden in his room, and everyone assumed it was because it was just too hard on his dad to see them around the house. It was part of the reason why Becca and Rachel left."

She was quiet and didn't offer anything else.

Now it was my turn to look down ashamed. I hadn't meant to sound so accusing. I just didn't know how to feel, even though I was feeling everything: shocked, hopeful, sad, thankful, deceived . . . angry. Jake would have a second chance to know his mother, yet the circumstances were less than ideal—beyond it, actually—and I _hated_ the fact. I felt guilty that I started to blame her and the tribe for this situation, for allowing it to happen and putting us—me—in this position, when I was sure they couldn't help it. Not only was the pack my family, the tribe was as well; they had all been there for me. But, Jake was my best friend, and he had the right to know.

My head shot up and I searched her face. She reminded me so much of him . . .

"You're telling him, aren't you? I can't keep this from him." The very idea made my gut twist, and I gasped. "I won't."

She looked at Caius, who was obviously irritated as he turned to glare at her.

"Do not look at me," he snapped. "I wished for you to wait on revealing yourself. I have not gotten the chance to tell her _a thing_, for she has been awake for less than two hours. Of course, I should have expected you—" He stopped abruptly, his mouth clamping into a grim line. Then, just as suddenly, he sighed heavily and grabbed her hand.

I felt my head tilt to the side and my eyes narrow on her beautiful, yet _bony_ hand clasping his. My muscles were twitching, bristling. I didn't like anyone else touching him, and he _really_ shouldn't be touching her. I swallowed the growl that almost ripped from my lips, though I only half-heartedly tried to stop the rumbling in my chest.

I knew my reaction was ridiculous; there was nothing romantic between them—or us. But now, I didn't know who I was more resentful toward: them or me. Them—for their obvious closeness. Or me—for even _wanting_ the same easy familiarity, albeit an intimate one with Caius. Yet, in turn, I resented them more, because they made me feel this, made me want something I couldn't have. I couldn't act on how I felt; even though there was no need, I couldn't claim him, for I was nowhere near ready . . . or deserving. They reminded me of that fact—that I wasn't ready and might never be.

They made me feel weak . . . and I didn't like it.

I immediately cringed from the bitterness, the clench of possessive longing, the . . . the dark thoughts ready to consume and lash out, and I looked away, realizing that none of it mattered. None of these feelings were really my own as it was instinct, and I knew nothing good would come from it.

Still, I glanced at them from the corner of my eye and saw Caius peering at me from the corner of his. Pitifully, my stomach flipped and then dropped. I ignored it.

Caius squeezed her hand and immediately let go. "I know that you were excited to see her," he said. "You know that I understand. You have not seen anyone from your old life for a long while. However, you should _not_ have come here so soon."

He turned to look at me, and his eyes softened, though nothing else did in the stony exterior. "Let us go to your room, and we will explain everything to you there. Then afterward, you may call Jacob."

I nodded and stood up, scared but resolute to talk to Jake. Mrs. Bla—Mrs._ Aki_—stepped back inside the elevator.

_Wait a second. Her husband's name, Taha Aki, sounds familiar. Where have I__—_

I groaned. I would find out soon enough.

I began to wonder if vampires could have ADHD. I knew my attention span was better than this when I was . . . when I was . . . _human_. It was hard to think that I was no longer one while I studied _each_ thread of the rug as my feet shuffled across it—when my emotions made me feel _undeniably_ human. True, I was distracted easily, but I could still process my surroundings and numerous thoughts all at once, which probably wasn't helping me in the focusing department. I felt mortally disoriented and inhumanly sharp at the same time. I felt . . . stuck.

I paused at the elevator doors and looked up expectantly at Caius. I tried to keep my face devoid of the fact that my chest felt heavy while he regarded me intently, searching. His eyes flashed with something—sorrow, maybe—and then they locked on mine. My stomach churned from the quiet intensity of his gaze before plummeting again, and I prayed it didn't show as I held firm.

After a moment, he nodded, comprehending that I wanted him to go in first.

I sighed, relaxing minutely, and then followed him inside. I didn't care about gallantry right now, and I definitely didn't trust anyone behind me.

As we rode the elevator up, I pondered how old he was and how long he had existed. I refused to glance at his reflection on the metal doors; I didn't want to meet the stare I could feel on me, and I knew I could use my perfect . . . _vampire_ memory. He looked around 25, 26 years old. Aro had said his—part of my—own family line died before the Common Era, and it baffled me to think that Caius came from such a time. Did men of that era have good manners? For some reason, I figured them to be somewhat barbaric.

Edward had been all about being the gentleman—to a fault. I got the_ feeling_ that, because my sire was more than several centuries old, he was no longer the man he once was, that the valor was buried deep under an angry exterior and the bitterness was snuffing out the optimism of his youth. From seeing his reaction to Jake's mom, I could tell he was passionate about his principles, though he could appear cruel because of them. Nevertheless, he could be sympathetic and humane because of this fervor and would more than act on it because of his true character.

On the other hand, I didn't actually know what his principles were. There was a lot of outward animosity, and it made me question his standards.

Admittedly, I wanted to know him—his life and his story, why he was the way he was. To get to know him, _learn_ him, was almost a need . . .

I was suddenly lanced with such overwhelming emotions that I nearly keeled over from the force. Caius was no better; he staggered forward before catching himself and stood rigidly with hands grasping his forearms behind him, his eyes squeezed shut and jaw clenched. He was gasping for air—we both were. It happened so abruptly, as if we both had been punched in the gut, and I couldn't get my bearings. Yet, it was also painstakingly _warming_—to the core. I was being filled with such . . . _light_, that it made it even harder to breathe. It was _engulfing_. And as another impassioned current shot through the elevator, you could hear the whoosh of the air as it seemed to be sucked out of the confined space, like the air in a raging fire.

Oh, to know him was a need all right—one as deep and hot as the fiery depths of Hell.

And it made me boil.

And I was goddamned terrified.

I stomped on and squelched the latter.

Did _I_ really want to know him, or was it something else? I gritted my teeth angrily. I fought against the desire to know him, to touch him, as it hummed through my body, and it had nothing to do with the humming of the elevator that was moving _too damn slowly_.

Fucking. _Hell_.

Did I get a choice at all? What if I didn't want a mate? My foot began to tap incessantly. But, it wasn't just from my impatience for the doors to open, or to tame the nerves I was still keenly experiencing. It was from buzzing excitement. The light that enflamed me from within was . . . _joy_.

And damn it all to—

_Oh, thank God!_

The three of us practically stumbled into the hallway, silently and awkwardly. But we didn't run. _No . . ._ We walked—calmly—as though none of that had happened. I would have laughed at the ridiculousness of it all if I hadn't been suddenly so aware of Caius. With each purposeful stride, I could hear his clothing caress the form they covered. I could even see the brawn—how the muscles in his back rippled beneath the dark grey dress shirt. With his shoulder length hair and tall frame, he moved sinuously—all graceful strength and power. One could describe it as haughty with the edge of a predator, yet what I saw was the prowess of not a man with intent, but a resolute warrior on a mission. The image made my body tingle.

I knew what happened in that elevator; it was glaringly obvious. My soul recognized—acknowledged—his, and as it yearned to connect, so did my body.

I tried to focus on the idea of soul mates instead. Who deemed them compatible? What made Caius and me compatible? Was it destiny…fate? Or was it really the splitting of one person, as Aristophanes so presented in Plato's _The Symposium_? That the two halves were condemned by Zeus to search their entire lives for the other. As depressing as it was, I used to like the notion. I still did.

I stopped in my tracks, realizing then what that would mean—that a person would only have _one _soul mate. I thought of what that would have meant for me and Edward—if he had changed me, that is. What if we had found our mates later down the road? Was that why he wouldn't change me, because I wasn't his mate? But he made it seem like it was because of my soul. So which was it? I never did believe that vampires lost their souls; yet the belief was abruptly pushed aside, because I questioned if the others knew that we_ weren't _fucking mates. At the very least, Edward had to, right?

I became conscious of the noise at the back of my throat; it was growling, deep seated and continuous. Sand and rubble started coming down from the ceilings as my mind ran through the possibilities.

Caius stepped toward me, but then he stopped short.

"Isabella?" he asked so damn cautiously—tenderly—that I shot him a seething glare. I was _not_ a wounded animal.

The struts of this monstrosity of a castle began to groan. The windows and furniture rattled. I knew what was coming, and by the look on Caius's face, so did he. He met my glare with his piercing scowl, yet somehow with an expectant brow raised, but I could sense a bit of sadness and harsh disappoint as well.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths to calm myself down. I couldn't destroy this place even more than I already had, and I really did need to learn how to control myself.

It was just so frustrating! All of these sudden revelations, foreign feelings, and the unfamiliar me.

I wanted to yell and thrash. Too much was happening at once.

I wanted to cry. So much was changing.

And I wished . . . I wished that Jacob were here, for he would be the only thing that could make me and everything else feel _seemingly_ normal. I bit my lip to stop it from quivering, because I felt the back of my eyes burn and knew that I wouldn't _ever_ shed real tears again.

I tried to quell the shaking of my body while holding in a sob, and my chest heaved.

I wouldn't ever sleep again. I wouldn't go to college. I wouldn't eat delicious food or even cook it. I actually guzzled down blood. I wouldn't be able to be in the sun without making sure that I wasn't seen. I couldn't ever see my parents again.

I slapped my hand over my mouth to stop the angry and painful wail tearing up my throat.

So much was gone, and I never appreciated it as much as I should have until now—when I could never get any of it back.

My knees buckled from the weight of reality.

Before I could hit the floor and bitterly claw at it, two pairs of arms wrapped around me at the same time. Though I flinched from the contact and began to push them away, Caius and Jacob's mom only squeezed me tighter.

I trembled. It was what I needed, yet shouldn't want. To be touched . . .

But oh, his arms were so comforting, and I couldn't help but instinctively wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his chest. Then, I breathed in deeply. The scent of him reminded me of home, yet he smelled . . . masculine. It was refreshing cedar and clean pine. I imagined flying through the La Push forests on the back of a wolf, and a sob escaped me.

Caius's arms loosened, only for him to move my arms, and then he grasped me better—closer—lifting me because of his height. Then, I realized . . . he wasn't trying to comfort me; he was trying to hold me together—he was helping _me_ hold myself together.

It was then that I broke.

I let myself dry sob and shook freely, openly. I let my memories and the emotions they carried wash over me. And I vowed . . . that I would remember them. No matter how long I existed.

The fact that I could count how long we were standing that way—8 minutes and 27 seconds—made me shake and sob harder, and I tried _even harder_ not to take the rage inside of me out on the man holding me. Even though I knew I was already squeezing his neck, he didn't complain. I felt his face in my hair and near my cheek. His chest rose and fell as he breathed in deeply, calmly. The rhythm was soothing. As I focused on him and his breathing, I found myself calming down and the rage cease.

He spoke into my ear quietly and somberly. "Every single one of us experiences this soon after we wake and have our first feeding. We realize how much will never be the same, and all the changes can be overwhelming. Emotions are stronger and never settle. Thoughts become more distinct, yet are in rapid succession." He paused, letting me grasp that this was indeed normal. I nodded, affirming and grateful. Then, he breathed out passionately, "However, it _will _get better with time. I . . . I promise."

"It's true, Bella," Mrs. Aki whispered, somewhere beside me. "Everything will be okay. _You'll_ be okay. Please, just give us a chance to help you."

I nodded and shakily said, "I'll try."

And I would, because there was no one else to help me. I knew the Cullens couldn't—not with my diet. In fact, I didn't want their help; I didn't trust them any more than I trusted all these new vampires.

"Can I please, _please_ call Jacob now?" I begged them. I didn't know why I even had to ask. I didn't think I was a prisoner, but it seemed like they wouldn't let me call him.

Caius leaned back and searched my eyes intensely. His garnet eyes smoldered with something I couldn't identify. I was surprised that the flame inside of me wasn't scorching, though it still blazed if not brighter than before. I felt him run his fingers through my hair, skimming the nape of my neck, down my back. I held in a shiver. Then, realizing that his other arm was still wrapped around my waist—or more precisely the thumb of his other hand was rubbing my hip—I swallowed hard, trying not to panic and squirm. He gave me a gentle squeeze, before setting me down and releasing me.

He nodded and answered, "There is something you need to know before you call Jacob. Something I need to tell you, first."

I looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

He looked out the window. "I think it would be better to do this outside. The sun is beginning to set, and we could use the courtyard."

When he gazed back at me, I could see anger, sadness, and maybe a little shame etched in his perfect face. Then, it became a resolute mask.

Caius slowly reached forward and grabbed my hand. "Follow me. Be mindful of your strength while you run."

I tried and still cracked a few stairs.

* * *

**SARAH AKI**

Although I had come to regret making an early appearance, I was glad I didn't miss this. I had missed so much already, and there was only _one_ moment in time when a soul found its mate.

And seeing Caius hold Bella in his arms was _one_ remarkable sight to see.

It wasn't too often that vampires found their other half, and I had been worried—though ecstatic—for the two of them. I knew Caius and his impatient, unforgiving temper. He generally didn't like people—he downright hated them—and he was rarely affectionate because of it. Obviously, there were times he could be . . . warm, but that was only when he understood someone, and he would have to be extremely close to the person to begin with. Even then, there had to be a legitimate reason. It took me almost eight years to gain Caius's trust and friendship. It was the record for the few of us here in Volterra who actually got the opportunity to know him.

Well, it was the record when Peter wasn't here. And now, there was Bella.

If it weren't for the fact that Bella was Caius's mate, Peter would challenge her to a duel and somehow ensure he won the title, just so he could have another one. He still might, though halfheartedly. Peter would be just as excited as I was about this fast-track development and the two mates, and I wouldn't be surprised if he were already on his way here.

As the newfound mates gazed at each other, I knew that if I were human, I would have goose bumps from my own excitement and the energy that surrounded them. It might have been because of my gift, but I didn't think so. You didn't need to see auras to witness the connection, the profound need for these two to be complete.

But then, their auras did blend together beautifully and told a story all on their own.

Many were confused, but red stood for passion—not love—and these two held it in spades and shades. Mixed with their own numerous tones—orange: courage and thoughtfulness, blue: healing and compassion, violet: wisdom, indigo: highly intuitive and a seeker—it made a tapestry of light. Of course, there were dark colors here and there—muddied red for anger; black for past hurts; the dark green of insecurity; a dark gray overlay for guardedness. But, that was what made the glowing colors even more lovely—when they shone through.

What was even more captivating was that when they looked at each other, their auras almost doubled in size and depth—something I had never seen or heard of. It engulfed everything around them, even themselves. The way their auras played off each other, creating a bright white light . . . well, it was beyond glorious.

And it was even more astonishing that it was Bella Swan who was destined to join Caius. If it were not such a welcoming surprise, I would be mercilessly mocking him at this moment for thinking that he had no mate; that if he were fated to have one and meet his, he could "resist and send her away." That was Caius for you—always so presumptuous.

But then again, so was I. I thought I would make things easier on Bella if she saw someone she knew, and by no means was Bella the person I would have guessed for him, though I saw it clearly now.

And here, I had believed I would never see her again—someone from the life I no longer lived, someone who was so close to the little boy I never got to watch grow into the man he was today. Yes, I have seen the pictures the elders would send me of him along with their informative letters, but I didn't truly _know_ Jacob.

When he had first shifted, Billy and I were mainly concerned with how and when we would tell him. We had hoped that after he graduated he would become the Alpha, that age and wisdom might help him listen and accept the circumstances given to each of us.

Although in all honesty, it was mainly fear of the unknown that held us back this past year. How do you tell a young man that the mother he believed was dead was still walking this earth and would until the end of time? That she was his supposed enemy and had red eyes? How would he cope with the fact that I looked just as I did 13 years ago—the last time he saw me—and had not aged a day? How do you tell your son that I, as his mother, was the imprint of another man—one that was not his father? Would he forgive us and Aki, especially now that they have grown closer in just a few days' time? Would Jacob be shunned by what was supposed to be his pack if he were to love me? Would he even accept me for what I was now, or would he turn me away?

One of the greatest—and unknown—fears of a parent was not being forgiven by our children for the choices we have had to make, some if not most on their behalf; to have our hard decisions thrown in our face was not something we looked forward to, least of all expect. While we were not perfect, we did try our best, and it would end me if I never got to be there for my own son, now more than ever, as the dream I carried for our future burned more vividly than ever before. Finding out that Jacob wished to stay friends with Bella was a great blessing, for it gave me even the smallest bit of hope.

But I still didn't believe it was the right time to tell him.

When Caius, Bella, and I reached the courtyard behind the castle, I stood back and watched Bella's reaction. She looked in awe of the Tuscan countryside while the sun began to set, her eyes darting from one place to another.

I smiled, remembering what being a newborn was like. Oh, it was hard. It was more than troubling and disorienting. But, surprisingly, being a vampire also made things more beautiful, and again, it had nothing to do with my gift or even the supernatural abilities that came with the change. It could make things clearer, make someone more appreciative, or it could do the complete opposite as it often had. It all depended on perspective.

My smile became a grin, because of mine, because of where I was standing and what I was witnessing before me. Bella didn't know she was towing Caius along with her as she took in the view, and Caius appeared to be enjoying her stunned absorption and the contact.

Barely-there pink tinged his aura . . .

I looked away, giving them another moment to themselves. My grin dimmed. I could see dark clouds rolling in, bringing rain and the thunderstorm they carried upon us by tonight. The Great Spirit seemed to want to remind me of the hard times that would surely come. But, I was not naïve. I knew Caius and Bella had a rough road ahead of them. This stage would not last, and with their past experiences and temperaments, the two would have their work cut out for them. Yet, they would have help. I hoped my husband was prepared for the late night barrages from his best friend and not getting a good night sleep because of it. Caius really could bitch like no other.

In my peripheral, I saw Bella shake her head and slowly pulled her hand out of his. From the obvious dejection in both their eyes, they didn't like the loss and tried to hide it by looking down, except Bella seemed a little confused.

Caius looked away, and then back at her. Dipping his head, he whispered, "Yes, I feel that just as you."

I grinned. He was actually trying to be open _and_ kind. He was already changing, and he didn't know it. _And Great Spirit, help us when he does_.

Bella looked up and searched his eyes; for what exactly, I had no clue. She nodded in return and then asked, "So, what exactly is it? Why can't I call Jacob now?"

"Here," Caius offered as he touched the small of her back to lead her to a stone bench.

They probably were not aware of it, but they were already in tune with each other. As I saw Bella stop herself from leaning into his hand, he too stopped himself from pressing into her. While they sat down, they turned toward each other, completely in sync and with just enough room for their knees not to touch. Both appeared to be stoic, but I knew better. The emotions raging through them could not be more obvious.

Caius looked more afraid than I had ever seen him as he tried to utter the words to her.

I knew he wouldn't tell her my story yet. For one, it was my story to tell, and he respected that. Second, Bella didn't need the details if she was already intent on calling Jacob. There was something more important for her to know at the moment anyway; no one wanted to hear or tell another that a loved one was dead over the phone.

After a few unsuccessful attempts, Caius sighed and grabbed her hand. "Do you remember that there were more vampires going to the Reservation?"

Bella's brows furrowed as she stared into his eyes. "Um . . . a little. Why?"

I saw the black and indigo color her as realization set in. She clutched his hand and arm. Gasping, she asked, "What is it? No. No! Who . . . _who_ is it?"

Caius grabbed her quickly and pulled her into his lap. He embraced her fiercely and answered, "Sam."

Bella let out a wailing, "No!" before she and Caius disappeared.

Then, everything turned black.

* * *

**JASPER WHITLOCK-HALE**

Alec and Jane were amazing musicians. Whenever I came here to Volterra, I loved jamming with them. It was one of our favorite pastimes, and I really did miss it. Yet this time, we were playing in a brand new music room, and if I didn't know Caius as I did, I would have been floored to learn that he designed and built it for them.

I was playing on the badass custom drum set, Jane was playing fuck-awesome guitar riffs, and Alec was licking the shit out of bass.

We were laughing at our antics when we heard Bella scream. The three of us stopped playing and looked at each other, each bearing different faces as I caught their emotions. Mine was entirely of regret, Jane had a small pitying smirk but felt a bit remorseful, and Alec looked indifferent, yet self-loathing churned within him. Before we could pick up where we left off, the three of us passed out.

* * *

**ARO VOLTURI**

I was in bed, spending time with my lovely Sulpicia. We were reading between my family lineage and the vampire histories when I heard Isabella's own howl for the Alpha.

Sulpicia was alarmed and immediately stood up to go to her. I had the urge to tell my beautiful mate to wait and let Caius handle Isabella for the time being. He needed to learn. However, I stopped short, for not only would I not deny my wife anything she wanted, but I was stunned to silence as well.

I was taken off guard by the ache I felt in my own non-beating, black heart for Isabella's loss and sorrow. I have not felt such emotion since Didyme, and she was whom I bitterly and painfully thought of as I lost consciousness.

* * *

**CARLISLE CULLEN**

Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and I were sitting in the spacious, elegantly decorated living room given to us. From common knowledge of the Volturi and the time I spent with them, I knew we were being treated as an exception for the crime my family and I had committed. I knew we would not escape it unscathed, but I could hope as I always had.

At the moment, we were quietly discussing what could have our other three family members in such secretive situations. Jasper explained very little to us, and we have not heard from or about Edward and Alice. The last two were surprising, and I only prayed they were not in any trouble. Jasper, on the other hand, really worried me, for I never knew he was so acquainted with Volturi, even more so than I was.

I suddenly heard a female wail and Eleazar in the room across us exclaim, "Oh!" I immediately thought of what the family and I had been prolonging to talk about, since it still pained us and we had gotten used to avoiding the topic—Bella. As guilt consumed me, I welcomed the black.

* * *

**DEMETRI VOLTURI**

The last two things I could remember before an unexpected wave of nothingness hit me were an agonizing cry and Felix—my cheap shot of a brother—and his gigantic fist connecting with my face. Yet, I knew that the sudden void was from more than the sense he was supposed to knocking into me.

As I awoke some time later, I heard Caius's reverberating roar. "ARO! JASPER! ELEAZAR!"

Felix and I were already up and running toward Caius's direction.

"What in the hell do you think that was, brother?" asked Felix.

While I looked through all of the corridors we passed, I answered, "I do not know. Maybe it is Bella, since she is the only one that has an uncategorized gift in Volterra. Let us hope that it is she, and not something or someone else."

I noted that many of the windows were shattered on the backside of the castle. Although I wondered why, I only wanted to reach Caius, the Kings, and Bella—for she would be with Caius. There must be something terribly wrong as he cannot only take care of himself and another, but he rarely showed so much emotion other than anger, and never so openly. From the names he called out, I gathered he was not under attack. I knew then that it had to do with Bella, and I pushed myself to run faster.

Gabriel, Heidi, and Goose were behind us. I could hear some of The Guard in the corridor to our right, each one claiming when the area was clear of any invaders.

I knew it to be true, as I did not sense anyone here. Even though I mainly tracked, I still had a deep awareness when someone was near—especially if the intruder were in my home.

My gift worked in the oddest of ways. It locked onto a person's mind, and minds were like computers. It saved experiences and left cookies or trails. _Everything_ a person touched was left with their signature. A person's signature was utterly unique, because of their experiences—pressure, time, emotion, and everything else one would come into contact with in life. The mind would automatically continue to save every bit of it, filing it away for future use—whether he or she were conscious of the fact or not, it altered a person. Couple that with how one would use their signature—a reaction—and it was called a process: a Central Processing Unit (CPU). And once I have met a person, seen how they move, speak, react, etc., I understood—tasted—how they processed things. I anticipated what they would do because I _knew_ what drove them to do it—their mind.

Of course, it took me months to learn Bella's. I learned that it was not exactly because her mind was closed to the world, but what drove her was not her mind. For the first month, nothing drove her at all. She processed nothing. And ironically, those were the times I knew exactly what she would do. Then, when she came out of the cave she was living in, she would not make up her damn mind! It was as though everything, along with some external force, influenced the girl. She became predictable for a while, but yet again, she would flip. It left Felix and me flailing and seething at times.

Eventually, we learned she was not only a contradiction or enigma of sorts, but an immovable one at that. It was then we began to enjoy watching over her. Her guileless countenance, with her fiery temper, was unmatched. Her loyalty and dedication to the supernatural world—to the pack and the Cullens, even though they had hurt her—rivaled The Guard's. She could be selfish in one selfless act. Perceptive but obtuse. Passive, then compassionately reprimanding, or sometimes, passionately demanding. Everything about her was both light and dark at once. Soft, but gritty. Alluring, yet painful. Strong and weak.

Now that she was one of us, I knew it would be easier—and harder—to track her. Newborns almost always acted on instinct, but knowing Bella as I did, she would _and_ would not act on those instincts. Yet, relearning and being able to track her was only my part of my worries. What she had experienced in that cabin could very well ruin her and the progress she made. No doubt, it would change her. With Caius's history, I was worried that he would not allow himself to feel for her—that he almost could not. Even though I knew she could handle Caius, I feared him making her transition even harder than need be. Hell, I was afraid for them both. Those two might just kill each other from denial alone.

As we reached the eastern atrium not a minute later, I saw Bella for the first time as a full-fledged vampire. How odd it was not seeing her human. I had gotten used to her heartbeat and appealing blood—but not appealing enough to eat. Well, that was before, and even then, I would not have sucked her dry. I had come to care for her—a dangerous notion for a Volturi guard, let alone a vampire. I also could not believe that she was even more beautiful than before.

I felt my chest clench when I finally noticed that she was in Caius's arms—absolutely limp.

He was holding her closely, scanning his surroundings, and speaking in a barely controlled panic to Sarah. "No, I only saw you pass out and then Isabella next. I did feel something for a few seconds, but I did not pass out at all."

Sarah squeezed his arm. "Everything will be okay. _Bella_ will be okay."

Aro, Sulpicia, and Marcus arrived, followed by their personal guards. The Denali Coven and the Cullens were alarmed as they came in from the opposite stairwell, along with Jasper, Jane, and Alec. The remainder of The Guard stood in the shadows, alert and watchful.

I looked around, receiving subtle nods of confirmation that everything was clear as I did a head count. Thirty-five, including the two clans. Everyone was accounted for.

I caught Caius's gaze and nodded. He nodded minutely and gratefully before glancing down at Bella.

Aro stepped up to Caius cautiously and touched his hand at Bella's knees. "Caius, I cannot read you. Sarah?"

She laid out her palm for the King touch.

"Neither you," he said, both intrigued and frustrated.

Everyone stepped up, taking his or her turn quickly. Aro shook his head as he became increasingly more frustrated and angry. Last, he went to Bella.

"Oh, mia cara, you are something else," Aro crooned, touching her hair. I was certain that I had briefly seen a small mournful smile before it disappeared with the shake of his head. In its place, a cold, cutting expression as he demanded, "Eleazar, enlighten us. Now."

We all turned to Eleazar, and he tilted his head from side to side. "Well, I explained before that her gift is much like an introverted energy field. I would say she inadvertently projected it—more that it burst or flipped inside out. Since it is not our gift and our minds are not used to that kind of energy, we could not handle it and we blacked out. Caius, as to it having no effect on you, it may either be because you are mates or have similar minds."

I shook my head and interjected. "They do not have similar minds. I would consider them nearly opposites." It was true . . . to a point. Where Caius mainly saw things in black and white, Bella saw in shades of grey. They reasoned and justified things differently, but both were equally passionate about their views and very strong-willed.

Eleazar nodded, thinking, before he continued. "I have also said it before that Isabella's gift is similar to gravity, and that I can only get a feel for it when she projects it. This time, I learned that it can be the utmost gravity—a black hole—but _only_ when it bursts as it did." He paused, and he seemed to choose his next words carefully as he spoke, "Now remember, I said that she uses energy from us. When the field is a black hole, it pulls in the gifts it encounters, meaning . . . meaning that she does _take_ our gifts _from_ us."

Everyone sucked in a sharp breath. Did he mean take _away_?

Eleazar nodded slowly, confirming.

We had never come across someone with such ability. Dread bore down on me, and I inched closer to her and Caius. She would be considered the most dangerous or the most coveted by the vampire race—if they ever heard such a thing. To us, the Volturi, she could be—

Eleazar looked around. "Now, hold on a second. Though I do not exactly know how long it lasts, it is not permanent, so do not fear."

The room barely relaxed.

"Moreover, when we use a gift on her, she gains it. And just like all gifts, it is not exactly like yours," he said, before smiling. "For example, you all know my gift is reading a person's personality—personal traits that pertain and sum up your ability. Isabella reads character value and what is ingrained in you—your . . . _nurtured_ nature. She includes Aro and Demetri's gift with that as well; she will see images or files. Not of your life, but how she views you."

Eleazar's voice became quiet. It held the tone of awe and bordered-lined sorrow. "Even though she has never met Peter, she _knows _things. Carlisle even said that she knew his family was not human from the very beginning. Therefore, she is highly observant—intuitive, even—and that adds to her knowledge of a person. I would like to say that she already had this aspect of her gift—that it is part of her—the reading and knowing someone. It is not multiple abilities, but more that it is _one_ ability. Her gift is all encompassing _and_ all interrelated."

He took a deep breath and sighed. "I know it is confusing and frightening. I did say her ability was evolving. But, there is something you should know. Because of Jasper, Isabella has empathy. Yet, she sympathized with people already, and she only has _empathy_ to a point. She will get bits and pieces of someone's emotions, but she cannot manipulate them. And, I believe that is simply because she does not want to a—"

We were all startled by an unexpected voice mumbling, "You're damn right I don't. Why would I want to do that?"

As we all turned to look at Bella, the source of that magnificent tone, Caius surprised everyone by responding with a hearty laugh and shifting her into a cheerful hold.

Bella laughed lightly and nervously in response. "What is this for?"

He put her down and grasped her face gently with both of his hands. He gazed into her eyes, his own smoldering with not only adoration and devotion, but . . . _vulnerability_. And then I knew . . . he would love her. And I would continue to protect her as my charge, as my Queen, and as my best friend's mate.

"You scare me." He finally breathed out. It was lighthearted, to sound as if he were joking, but even if I had not seen the previous look, I knew he was telling the truth. Caius would not lie even to save his own life.

Bella's hands flew up to cover his hands as she threw her head back and laughed with so much joyous humor, that we all could not help but smile.

"I'd normally think that's either a joke or a lie, but I _know_ it's not," she quipped with a smirk, making Caius and the rest of us chuckle in response.

The new couple realized that they were not alone, and Bella disappeared out of thin air. There were gasps all around. Naturally, those who were not with us in rescuing Bella were shocked.

Caius glared at us as he reached behind him. "It is all right, Isabella. No one will hurt you here."

"I know, but I can't help it," she hissed. Yet, knowing her, she was slightly embarrassed.

"Do not feel that way. You have nothing, _absolutely nothing_, to be ashamed of," Caius gritted out, pulling her invisible frame closer to his back.

She must have nodded because Caius nodded once and looked to Eleazar. "You were saying?"

Eleazar cleared his throat, yet could not wipe the concerned and pleased smile from his face. "She does not want to manipulate what other people are feeling, so she cannot."

"No offense, Jasper," Bella apologized quickly.

Jasper was still grinning from ear to ear. "None taken, Bella."

Eleazar carried on. "Also, this might explain why our kind was so drawn to her—and still is—because now, and even when she was human, she gives us vampires a gift."

_What? Truly?_ I guess it was not that hard to believe.

"And that is . . ." Caius prompted Eleazar impatiently.

"The gift is a small part from our human lives—a connection to it of sorts."

We all must have looked confused, because Eleazar sighed, exasperated.

"Does she remind you of someone, Caius?" Eleazar asked and looked at him expectantly. Caius's eyes widened.

Eleazar turned to the Cullens. "Carlisle, does she not give you the utmost hope? That there is still tolerance in this world? Esme, the real motherhood you lost? Rosalie, she gave you the humanity that you wished to have back, and when you are ready, she can give you the friendship and understanding you need most. Emmett, I believe you already know. She is similar to the little sister you never saw again since you were mauled."

He turned back to us and looked to Aro. "Is she not the relative you have always longed for, Aro, even when you were human? Sulpicia, the daughter that was taken from you when you were changed? Jasper, is it not her loyalty and dedication that reminds you of your fellow men? Your own fiancé, Demetri, that you watched being . . . murdered right in front of your eyes." He paused and looked around. "The list goes on and on."

For a split second in time, we were stunned to silence. Then, the keening and growls erupted in the atrium of the Volturi home.

* * *

_**Long-ass Author's Note:**__  
Aura info and colors__— magicalfreedom(dot)com  
Mia Cara (Italian)__ —__ My Dear_

_**References**  
_**"_The Symposium" by Plato__— __A sequence of speeches made by men at drinking party on the genesis, purpose, and nature of love.  
**Sarah was in Chapter 8— Caius called Sarah and told her not to expect them in her home, and then he told Jake to tell Taha Aki to call his wife. Then, Taha Aki briefly explained what happened with his imprint.  
**Bella's Gift (Eleazar's 1st observation and explanation)— Chapter 7_ _  
_

_**All right, I know that some people don't like all the different POVs, but…**  
1) I did say there was more to this fic than Caius and Bella. This is a love story, yet it's not only about the love between mates, but also about the love of a parent, the love for your sibling, best friend, country (vampire race in this case).  
2) I'm actually not doing the "Love conquers all." Not exactly. I'm trying to do it a different way. I wanted to start showing that some things__—__the nature of people, circumstances, principles__—__do overshadow or come before love, though they do not always diminish it. Like the love of someone we've lost doesn't lessen because they're gone (a loving memory–chapter title). So, I included Sarah and Demetri's POV because of what they stand for, and what they've lost because of it. Sarah is the epitome of circumstance, and Demetri is of duty. Sarah lost Jake; she encompasses not only her circumstances, but her people (Vampire and Quileute) as well—they have no control over what happened to them, what they've become, who they love—just as Demetri stands for the duty of the Volturi, of a best friend, of a man and a guard. And, Demetri…subtly lets go of Bella. But it doesn't mean they love something less, or what they stand for is less than love. I know…heavy loads of shit. But, like everyone, not just Bella, you do things because you have to, and all these characters __will__ (or they won't, _because_ of love).  
3) I also wanted you to love and relate to these characters__—__not through __or__ because of Bella. I wanted you to relate to them; I guess…__be__ them. I didn't want there to be any doubt when it came to these two either.  
4) The other POVs—I tried to show not just the effect of the event on these people, but capture the theme of time and memory while showing their personalities and past.  
5) There's more, but I'm not going to list all of them and give even more away… _

_I hope I accomplished at least half of that in this chapter, tying in with Bella "gifting" everyone a memory. I hope I got her warring, newborn roller coaster emotions as well. So where does Bella fit into all of this? What does she stand for, if not circumstance? That's for her to find out.** Go to IL&W's Forum on Twilighted **__(link on my profile) to__ ask questions or share some of your theories on Bella's gift, exactly how Sarah died, etc. It'd be fun to discuss and I'd love to hear them. You might even get some ideas or answers there._

_**Heads up: **__The next chapter will have brief glimpses of Bella's captivity.__ This is going to get a little darker, a little more angst-y, with a dash of fluff. Though, hopefully, the chapters aren't as loaded with themes, concepts, defensive explanations, wannabe "life speeches" (a.k.a. A/Ns.) I'd rather hear your reactions, what __you__ got out of it or caught._

_**Another heads up:**__ (Sorry.) "In Love and War" is in __Project Team Beta's Poll for Best Non-Canon Pairing Fic__. Don't worry, I'm not asking you to vote for me, I'm already stoked (and freaked out) to have IL&W mentioned with those fics. But, it'll be awesome if the poll gets some votes and the fics get the attention they deserve. (Link's on my profile.)_

_**Tiny teaser:**__ Chapter 11 __—__ "In Not-so-loving Memory"__— __Sarah's story, along with… Caius's. (Oooh!) Look for teasers on IL&W's blog. _

_Reviews are like loving memories, they hurt or inspire; sometimes, both. Leave one if you'd like__…_  



	11. In NotSoLoving Memory—Part One

_**Author's Note:**__ Yeah, I know. This is __so__ late, and I'm sure there's no reason good enough for you __not__ to be angry with me. But I am sorry. I have to tell everyone who's reviewed, rec'd, favorited, PM'd, dropped by the forum or followed the blog site for IL&W an enormous "Thank you!" God, all of it was encouraging and really drove me to finish this chapter. And to those who are still sticking around, this is for you. Get ready for a rollercoaster ride. _

_Please note that this picks up just a little bit into the end Demetri's POV from the previous chapter, but is in Caius's POV. I don't rehash everything in the previous chapter in Caius's POV here, but you do get a glimpse on what he was thinking during Eleazar's explanation and when Bella "woke up." Plus, it is necessary_—_clues and whatnot to Bella and the plot. I'm hoping this help you (and me) get back into the story after such a long wait, too… Enjoy!_

_Thanks to my ever-faithful and wonderful beta, Twimarti, and to the amazing ElleCC from PTB (and author of "A Murmur of Fire in the Vein") for smacking what I had colorfully written for this chapter into its pretty, little lines. _

_**WARNING**__: Emotional and graphic content. A little bit about Bella with Victoria, a little bit of Caius losing his shit, and a tad bit animalistic._

* * *

"_Down" by Jason Walker feat. Molly Walker — "Nothing Else Matters" by Apocalyptica — "Dear Agony" by Breaking Benjamin_  
"_Pieces" by Red — "In My Arms" by Plumb_

* * *

_Chapter 11_

**In Not-So-Loving Memory – Part One**

**CAIUS VOLTURI**

It was funny how quickly things could shift. One moment I had been frightened of the pain I would surely feel if I lost yet another woman. I knew I could not bear it again. Even if I did not love Isabella, as her mate, my very being would feel the loss, and I had barely survived the first time someone was ripped from me. I would avoid that feeling, that torturous helplessness, at all costs. So, of course, the next moment I was utterly relieved. To hear Isabella speak was enough to quell my fear of further injury, but in its place was a fear of another kind, of a different emotion _…_

Happiness. With my relief came happiness. And God, did it terrify me, because as I laughed and hugged Isabella, I relished the feeling of being happy, and it was wholly dangerous to do so. I would grow attached—to the soft swelling in my chest, to _her_—and I didn't want the addiction. In my needy pursuit to have and to keep either one, I would become distracted, _careless_ about everything else that should matter. My mind would be consumed by thoughts of her, and I wasn't a fool to believe that the rest of me wouldn't eventually be devoured, taken. She already had claim over my soul, my body was no question, and somewhere along the way, I would lose the part of me that I had long since tried to bury. I would lose what was left of the sliver of my heart, giving her every bit of me.

And though this meant the beginning of something new, something wonderful, in the end it would be something irreparably painful. I knew how easily everything could be taken away—and it would be. "All good things must come to an end" as the saying went, but it was not just a saying, and I would be an even bigger fool to forget that.

Still, as I held Isabella and felt the humming of our connection, I savored the feeling of blissful relief, of an elation so damn high that I cared not of the consequences, even if I was afraid of them. For once in my existence, I was happy and weightless, and I wanted to enjoy it.

Invigorated and utterly captivated, I ignored Isabella's question, set her down, and grasped her face in my hands. I wanted to look at her. She did this. She made me feel warm, at home. The strange tingling of comfort and peace radiated from my hands cupped around her face, through my arms and chest, and down to the pit of my stomach. At that exact instant in time, everything was all right and exactly where it should be, even for if just a moment. It was then, while I was trapped in her gaze, not really seeing but just feeling, that I felt the enormity of it all. She was not only mine, but I was _hers_. It was _my_ happiness and _my_ existence that rested solely in the hands of _this_ woman. And for a fleeting second, I had wondered if I could make _her_ happy.

I mentally shook my head at the ridiculous notion. I was no longer the man who cared if everyone around him was pleased—only that they were safe—and I needed to remember to stay emotionally detached. She and I were already at a loss, our choice already taken from us; we were spiritually bound to each other by supernatural means. We did not need our relationship any more complicated than it already was by adding affection to the mix.

Holding on to my newfound resolve, I quickly recalled her question: "What is this for?" Why had I hugged her? Well, I thought my reasons had been obvious, and I almost snapped at her for the stupidity of such a question—that was, until I caught the look in her eyes. Though her scrunched brows told me that she was slightly confused, her eyes held a beckoning quality. _Tell me,_ they seemed to say. Tell her what? I couldn't comprehend what she wanted.

Then it dawned on me. She was just as afraid as I was, and like every woman, she needed some type of reassurance. I almost snorted. She did not need it; she felt my emotions. But I did not want to lie, did not want to change any more than I slowly but surely was—not if I could help it, anyway. So I told the truth, told her that she scared me—before, here and now, and maybe forever. She did something I did not expect: she laughed. Fucking laughed. A part of me was angry, but I couldn't be entirely—not when I had tried to lighten the severity of my statement by answering jokingly, and definitely not when she looked as she did, so openly beautiful and carefree with her head thrown back. I couldn't deprive her of the small, joyful reprieve. They were few and far between in this life, and she had given me mine.

But mainly, I couldn't begrudge Isabella because I was too entranced with my hands holding her face, how her hands were atop my own to keep them there. All I wanted was to touch her and to have her touching me. The compulsion to have any physical contact with her ran deep, _too deep_, and I was beginning to think it was only me. She had been so reluctant—fearful, even—but she wasn't stepping away from me now. The logical side of me wished she would, yet the mated side of me wondered what had changed for her—and so suddenly. I searched her face, so small and so delicately lovely. There was no apprehension, no uneasiness—almost as if she were a different woman entirely. Almost like she forgot what she experienced or that it didn't even happen to her.

Still chuckling, Isabella met my gaze. Her eyes told me all I needed to make any lingering threads of annoyance dissipate. _She was grateful_. I felt the tension in my shoulders ease, only for the pressure to build into my throat and chest. _Jesus._ Did she know what she could do to a man, looking at him that way? That somehow I gave her a gift she always wanted, and it was more than enough. I suddenly had the deepest urge to kiss her, to pull her face to mine and delve into her, to somehow imprint myself in her mind so she would know to come to me for anything else she wanted, just so I could be on the receiving end of _that_ look.

But then a foreign feeling crept upon my nerves: apprehension. The kiss would not be well received. She wasn't ready, and neither was I. For the first time in a long time, I became uncomfortable—insecure—and it was gnawing me. I watched her lips form an enchanting smirk as she made a little quip about "knowing," only making me more uncomfortable, a bit agitated, and—dare I say—bashful. I heard myself laugh timidly with Isabella, trying to cover my awkwardness, and it simply made me more pained. I almost flinched. _She could feel all of this._

The grimace I hid turned into an outward snarl as I heard chuckles around me. Startled, I spun around and glared. I despised that everyone witnessed everything they had. How could I forget we were not alone? I was becoming distracted already—_and it was with myself_. I pulled Isabella against my back roughly. No, she made me distracted as well. Even now, tingling heat pulsed across my back, causing me to become acutely aware of every inch she touched, and there was also _…_ shame? It seeped into me, from behind; the ugly emotion was from her.

I squeezed Isabella. Hard. "Do not feel that way. You have nothing, _absolutely nothing_, to be ashamed of." She didn't. She was a newborn, easily preoccupied, and I was not.

It occurred to me that I had felt what she was feeling, that she had used one of her gifts, or what Eleazar explained was only part of her all-encompassing gift. I needed to know more and demanded that he continue with what he was saying before Isabella awoke. Her gift was what terrified me most. It was so unknown and indiscernible and ___…_ frightening. If it were anyone else, I would have thoroughly considered having the person destroyed, but—call me selfish and self-serving—she was my mate, and to slay her would slay me. I had to protect her—protect myself.

I struggled to think of how we would train and prepare her, barely listening to the useless babble around me. We had to be careful; we had no definite idea of what she could do, how she would react, all the consequences. I had a startlingly odd thought that we didn't know what _she_ was. I gripped Isabella anxiously. _No…_ Even with all this power, all this mystery, there was no reason to believe _she_ was anything other than a full-fledged vampire.

I grew impatient with Eleazar. He was enjoying himself too much, stretching out the information dramatically with his damn smug fascination. He knew more than we did; we needed him, and he knew it. So Isabella gave us all a gift; couldn't he say what it was already? Though it wasn't as surprising as all the other aspects of her ability, I was on edge. I didn't want an ability. Vampires were too reliant on them; it became a security blanket and, sometimes, the most disabling handicap—a vulnerability.

Then we all began to process what Eleazar said. Isabella gave each vampire a piece of his or her humanity; in some shape or form, she reminded them of it. Was that what was happening to me—the uncharacteristic emotions? She_ had_ provoked feelings in me that were disturbingly human, reminding me of more than simply Aglaia, but of the uncertainty and fragility of life—things I had once cherished with wonder, but now loathed. Yet, in the same breath, she also awakened the sensations of my youth: the adventure, the hope of making better days.

Upon hearing Eleazar prompting everyone's memories, foreboding slithered around my body, immobilizing me completely with a terrifying chill. Most of these memories were not good ones. I could practically see the wheels turning in everyone's mind as they raked through their God-awful pasts.

Time seemed to slow. My body lagged to keep up with my mind's blaring warning bells, my movements oddly dreamy and sluggish as I readied for attack. Everyone's eyes were unfocused; they were lost in their own minds, before, eerily in sync, they snapped onto one focal point: the woman behind me.

Then, everything happened so quickly. Keens and growls, gasps and snarls reverberated against the almost-translucent marble walls, creating a cacophony of sound. Devastating sorrow and resentment slammed into me, almost bringing me to my knees. But then, the animal amidst the chaos latched on with jarring claws and roared. The mate's instinct to protect overpowered any thought, any time to process. I crouched and snarled defensively, pulling Isabella closer against my back. Aro and Sulpicia crouched beside us, defending Isabella as well. I heard the warning growls of Demetri, Heidi, and Gabriel as I watched their backs tense. The Cullens created an arc around our group, protective and mollifying, and with them, hissing, was Athenodora, which was surprising. The Cullens would be no match for The Guard, and Athenodora was always so timid and emotionally stinted.

My gaze flicked to Marcus. He was rigid and snarling at us—at everyone. I could see the turmoil and battle in his eyes as his hands clenched and unclenched, and I knew he remembered Didyme. I couldn't feel sorry for him, though. He had asked for all memory of her to be wiped from his mind.

Jane and Alec made a strangled sound before they snapped to attention and stood by Marcus, leaning forward on their toes and glaring at Isabella, ready to pounce. Behind them, the Denali sisters stared at us with black eyes and pained, ugly snarls upon their lips. More gathered around their group, and I hated to see that it included Balthazar and Cyrus.

Carmen and Eleazar stood off to the side and pressed the succubae to calm down, reminding them who they were dealing with and repeating over and over that Isabella wasn't Vasilii, their mother, the one who paid for her crime of turning a child.

And Felix—always befriending with his childlike, compassionate heart under that formidable form—stood between us all, attempting to understand everyone, while telling them to stand down.

I took in the scene in a glance, because it wasn't a second before Isabella gasped and I heard the ripping of my shirt under her tiny hands. I felt her all-consuming fear, her urge to run, and I hated what I was about to do. I knew that she, as a newborn, could not leave the castle. She would attack the town, and it would hurt her if she were to kill innocents. Not only that, but she would be punished for the slaughter in Volterra.

And it was I who did most of the punishing.

I could not do it, could not allow it. I would not.

I spun around the same time she did, immediately restraining her by wrapping my arms around her. Before I could hook a leg around both of hers and pull them out from under her, she pushed her hip back and gripped my forearms, before leaning forward and flipping me over her shoulder. I was slightly surprised, even if I had been prepared for it. She was merely faster than I anticipated; though, she wasn't fast enough to get far.

Gloria, who had the ability to teleport and was the newest Volturi member, materialized in front of Isabella. Isabella snarled and tensed to attack the same time Gloria did. Seeing Demetri and Jasper behind Gloria, about to dismember her, I grabbed Isabella's elbow and swung her into the wall behind me, stunning her and putting her farther away from the fighting and arguing. I threw my body against hers, growling through my teeth for her to stop, even though I knew there was no getting through to her as newborn instincts ran rampant inside of her.

She tried to shake me off, using her hips and her shoulders, before she realized it was useless because I was bigger and better. I already had her arms pinned above her, having caught each punch she unthinkingly threw. She couldn't even kick; I had my feet planted on top of hers.

Then, she tried to bite me. I shoved her forehead back with a hand, my other still holding her arms above her and against the wall. When her chin lifted, I used my palm to shove her jaw closed, my fingers digging into her cheeks and above her lips. I stared into her eyes. She was beautiful angry, her eyes glowing and determined. I could appreciate the fight in her, the natural reaction and the distrust, but I didn't like seeing the fear in her eyes. She was probably the only person who didn't have to fear me.

My grip loosened as I saw defeat in her eyes.

Big mistake.

She shoved me—_hard_—and with her gift, throwing me back a good ten feet. Gritting my teeth against the impact, I rebounded quickly and slammed into her from behind as she tried to run again. We rolled, grappling for the upper hand and neither one of us succeeding. I didn't want to hurt her, though I would to prevent a worse outcome: dismembering her for a week and depriving her of blood for even longer. And it was getting to that point.

I finally found my opening. She was on her back with me straddling her, her wrists in my hands next to her head, but far enough away she couldn't bite me.

I planted my knees on her biceps and bore down. "Enough!"

Isabella threw her head back and roared, the shards of glass from her earlier outburst rattling against the marble from the sheer ferocity. Her body thrashed beneath mine as her legs kicked wildly at my back, and I could feel her shield working to push me off. Gritting my teeth, I pressed down harder. "_Don't_."

She looked at me then, with pure terror in her black eyes and an aching viciousness contorting her beautiful face as she screamed, "GET OFF ME!"

I wanted to—God, did I want to—but I couldn't let her go. I couldn't risk her running. I stared at her regretfully and shook my head, squeezing her wrists. "I _can't_."

I didn't know what else to say, how to calm her down, even though I was certain I was only scaring her further. I glanced up briefly, looking for the one man I believed could help me. "Jasper, can you help her?"

There was a heavy pause, and I could almost feel him hesitating before he said grimly, "I can't. Remember?"

Isabella snapped at my hands, my arms. Impatient, I snarled. "Remember? Remember what?"

He growled, sounding frustrated and unwilling. "_What Eleazar said._"

What Eleazar said? There was fucking plenty. Then it clicked, and I froze. _No one_ could use their gift after the black out; Isabella had sucked the abilities right out of them—at least, temporarily. I was astonished. I looked around and took in everyone else's perplexed expressions. How could none of us catch such an important detail? Were we all so focused on the future loss, and the actual possibility, that we forgot the here and now?

The gravity of the situation intensified as everyone caught on and every able body converged upon Isabella and me. Glass crunched beneath feet. Retribution-thirsty growls erupted. Hardened bodies were thrown and clashed against more bodies and the brilliant marble. A wide circle of Volturi and non-Volturi alike formed a barrier around me and Isabella as they attempted to defend us against renewed attacks.

Unexpectedly, I found myself on my back and Isabella straddling me, her venom-covered hands tightly wrapped around my throat. The cracking of my flesh sounded ominous in my ears. But then her crazed eyes locked on mine, and I felt her slick hands loosen as she swallowed. Those ruby eyes, so compelling even when enraged, brightened with recognition and need, before abruptly hardening.

My head snapped back and then to the left. I didn't even see her fists flying toward my chin and jaw before I _felt and heard it_. Her weight disappeared from my chest, and I knew she was running. Fuming, I stood quickly and pounced, my knee landing between her shoulder blades as I slammed her down. Even as angry as I was, the boom of her connecting with the marble made me flinch. Taking advantage, she bucked, throwing me off kilter. She tried to run again, but I grabbed her ankle—not even flinching when she fell again—and dragged her back beneath me. Swiftly grasping her wrists with one hand and shoving her face down with my forearm at the base of her skull, I threw my body on top of hers. Being so much taller than she was, I pulled up a little and easily positioned my knees to dig into the back of her thighs.

I leaned forward, adding more weight on my forearm, and snarled in her fucking ear. I was growing tired of our little battle. I was going to fucking bite her into submission if I had to. I pulled her wrists without mercy, hearing the tendons in her shoulders tear. The ground and our bodies shook from her muffled roar.

Seeing approaching movement in my peripheral, I looked up, on the verge of commanding everyone to leave. We would hear _all_ petitions and arrange punishments later, or else they be burned now. But then, my command died in my throat. The others weren't moving at all. They stood stock still, entirely shocked at what they were witnessing—yet, it wasn't me and Isabella they were watching. It was the ghostly images that surrounded us both. As though they were on numerous reels, the clips of her and what she endured in that cabin flickered around the two of us.

_Victoria's hand flying through the air and across Isabella's cheek. One didn't need sound to hear Isabella's cheekbone break upon impact. She falls and blacks out …_

_Isabella standing in the center of the cabin, nude, with her head held high in defiance, her bare chest heaving, and a bruise upon her cheek. A man stands behind her, gripping her wrists at her back. Isabella's lips are barely moving. "I don't know where they are, Victoria. I told you, they left me and I haven't heard from them." Victoria nods once, and the man takes one of Isabella's fingers and breaks it. She screams, and her knees buckle. Tears streak down her face, and her arms are at an uncomfortable angle as the man continues to grip her wrists and her finger. The man smiles and the finger breaking continues …_

_A little girl wearing white stockings and a red pea coat over a frilly black dress enters the cabin. Her frightened eyes, too big in her sickly pale face, are brimming with tears, and her blond curls tremble with her tiny body. From the floor, Isabella yells and tries to stand. She can't …_

_Bloody spittle flies out of Isabella's mouth as she screams, "I don't know what you're talking about!"_

_All-consuming fire coursing through veins and flesh. Bites _**_everywhere_**_ …_

_An effigy of bloodied, mangled hands, duct taped at the wrists, leading to bruised forearms stationed upon a sullied mattress. A hand reaches over, grabbing a bloody chair leg from the filth. It disappears, before the tip jabs under the chin and drags slowly to the belly button. Blood pounding … Jarring and shaming pain …_

_An unfamiliar wooden ceiling seen through a watery lens. Victoria standing on one side, and a man and a woman on the other. Victoria hands them vials of blood, giving directions. Ringing deafness … Body numb and broken … Tingles in the spine …_

I noted that the last three projections were from Isabella's eyes, actually forcing us to _experience_ everything she was feeling at the time. I looked around, shaking. There were so _many_ images, all warping in and out, and through so many different scenes. I couldn't watch any more. Instead, I beheld the woman beneath me, focusing on her. My weight on her skull had slackened, and she was shaking her head madly, as if deranged. She alternated between mumbling, roaring, shrieking, gasping, and whimpering. I let go of her wrists as if she were aflame and I was being burned.

_I did this to her …_

Crushed and so goddamn ashamed, I sat back heavily. My rage hadn't helped her earlier. My aggressive and unyielding hold on her reminded her too much of that day, making her feel as helpless as she did with Victoria.

_I set her off …_

My body trembled with soul-wrecking guilt, with grief and regret. I reached out to her with shaky hands. Static crackled between us, and all of a sudden, the lights went out, blanketing the room in darkness. It was a new moon tonight; Isabella's flashbacks were the only source of illumination, and they began fading out.

Isabella was strangely silent, and I didn't like it. Anxiously, I touched the back of her head, combing my fingers through her hair, away from the side of her face, trying to get a look at her.

She didn't move.

I hovered above her, still on my knees straddling her, and gently turned her over beneath me. She was limp in my arms. I reached up and pushed the hair out her face. "Isabella?"

Again, she didn't move. She merely looked…asleep, or dead. Both were impossible. I glanced around me, thinking maybe she projected her shield again and everyone had blacked out. She didn't. Everyone continued standing there—some shocked or fearful, others impassive or confused. Laying her down, I yelled at her. Sharp panic slashed at me, causing the words to fluctuate between my natural more tongue of Latin and everyday Italian.

I implored her to stop playing games. It wasn't funny.

I made her promises. I wouldn't be angry with her if she were pretending. If she were in pain, I would make it better. I would explain _all_ the reasons why she couldn't leave. I would let all the Cullens live. I would fly Jacob here myself. I would go against the Law and let her see her father; I would even change him if they both wanted it.

I cursed her as my hands flitted around her body, checking for threatening wounds, finding none, and hating for once that we weren't human, that we didn't have heartbeats and didn't need to breathe—the signs that indicated she was alive.

Finally, having had enough and not knowing what to do, I grabbed her head, my hands tightening into her hair painfully, and roared.

Without warning, the lights flickered back on, generating a buzz of filaments. My skin tightened as a crawling sensation enveloped me. It felt unnaturally sentient. My eyes widened as I watched shady mists flood into the atrium, parting around everyone's frozen forms. It almost reached Isabella and me before ghosting in a wide circle, gradually swirling around and around and ___…_ up. I watched as it formed a wall, lightening to a white in four distinct spots, expanding steadily outward.

Appearing in four screens, in four different angles, was one picture: Isabella lying prone _…_ somewhere. I couldn't see where she was; everything except for her was blurry and dull, and compared to her lying there sharp and glowing, I could see why. I tried to get a clue of _when_ this took place, like her clothes, her well-being, but I couldn't. She radiated so much light that I couldn't really see her; yet, I _knew_ it was her. I wanted to say it was at the cabin again, but I also wanted to say that it was months ago, here and now, and sometime soon.

I blinked from the strain and watched as a dark form rose above her, growing denser as the edges of the picture darkened with it, like a dye spilled upon a perfect photograph. Then it bled out, creating a form I was all too familiar with: one of the Children of the Moon, specifically Lucian.

I lost it then.

I shot up and growled, twisting and turning as I clawed and punched and spat at the air, at the ground, at that malevolent wall—at _him_. I was fighting the blackened monster that had sprung from my confidante—he who betrayed me, used me, who didn't trust me enough to tell me what he was. I invited him into my home, to live with family, amongst my settlement. I named my son after him! And damn him to fiery depths of hell; he killed Aglaia. He tore at her, feasted upon her.

And I had to _watch_.

Because I had dragged him back home—after finding him chained on the mountainside, even after he _begged_ and _warned_ me not to—I was with him when shifted, becoming his first victim of the night. I couldn't move as I had watched him go on a rampage, through different houses—one, my brother's. I could still remember the screams, the sounds of ripping and gurgling, of him being utterly _wild_.

Then Aglaia… She had been returning from her trip to the village with most of the women. It had been one of her good days, when she didn't feel as weak, and she had begged me to let her go. I had known it was because she felt useless and wanted to feel normal, and I had given in and arranged for her to go. Lucian had attacked them as they screamed for loved ones amongst the carnage. And I hadn't been able to do anything but _watch_.

I was spiraling out of control. I could feel it, and I couldn't get a grip tightly enough to stop. The current circumstances and my reactions reminded me too much of the day when my world had changed. It had tilted off axis and had never righted again, and to experience another pernicious shift would certainly make everything upside down. I would fall—into a dark gloom and without anything to hold onto.

I was aware—_barely_—of myself whipping around the room, tearing the walls, the ground, that wraithlike wall. No matter how much I tore at the projection, it warped back into place, shifting into my memories of that day, and I was lost in it.

Over the buzzing in my head, I could hear my vicious growls, snapping snarls, and grievous moans echoing back at me, taunting me, driving me. I burned with hate, for God, for the brutal cruelty and unfairness of the world, and over the fact that I could still _feel_ her in the back of mind, in my fucking soul. Stomping over to her and dropping to my knees, I bellowed. I couldn't see her there. The world was painted black.

I shot up, going around and around, pacing and livid, because I _knew_ she still hadn't moved and I could _still_ feel her. Why could I feel her? What was this poignant sensation of her lingering in the air, in ground beneath me? She was gone!

I fell to my knees. _She was gone …_

I pitched forward, my hands slapping on the floor and curling into claws as the veil lifted slightly. _She was **gone**_ _…_

My head dropped as my ire died and turned into something suffocating. I dragged myself over to her and crawled above her. I stroked her face before burrowing my own into her neck and gathering her in my arms. Closing my eyes, I rocked and prayed—for her to live, to survive, for her not to leave me.

The images had been burned in my head for 3,282 years and counting. I knew them by heart. I knew what would happen after I laid next to her centuries ago, wanting to die with her, and there was no stopping how that day ended.

Except this time, instead of Aglaia doing nothing but lie there and me feeling a sudden burning sensation in my neck as I was draped over her body, I heard the rustle of clothing. I heard her shifting. I squeezed my eyes. It was only wishful thinking, a hopeless dream. I told myself to open my eyes, to get it over with, to let my body drown in acidic disappointment.

_**She **was gone …_

Yet, I still sat there with lids closed, hoping I had simply been having a recurring nightmare, that it wasn't the reality I had lived and endured—and would relive again.

Unexpectedly, I heard a slow exhale and felt air brush across my face. I breathed in and then licked my lips because it smelled _fantastic_, like honey and something metallic. It was soothing. I sat, unmoving, still too scared to face the truth, even if my afflicting flashback was different this time around. More rustling and shifting quavered in the silent air, and I felt a whisper of a touch … a hand stoking my cheek. It was slow, light, and tentative; done again and again and again. I could almost feel the guilt, the remorse, emitting from the delicate caress. Another hand carefully laid upon my opposite cheek as the other hand continued, now sweeping across my brow, under my eye, down my jaw to my chin.

And then, there was a whisper. "Caius?"

I choked and grasped the wrist of the hand stroking my cheek, turning my face into the palm and inhaling deeply, longingly. She smelled of freesia and Madonna Lilies and again…a sweet metal.

I recalled that the Madonna Lilies were her favorite flower, reminding her of her home in Greece.

I captured her other hand, clutching both to my face, having them cover my nose and mouth. I took gulping breaths, breathing her in with all my might.

My body shook as I began to sob. I missed her, the peace in her presence and the different smiles she gave, how she made me _feel_. I missed the life she and I had created together; it had been simple and unadorned, but it was _good_, and it was _ours_. I missed Lucius. I think I missed him the most. He truly was _meus lux lucis._

With wonder, I basked in her scent, in her touch. _She was real. She was here, alive, and she was mine._

I couldn't look at her yet, and I needed to hear her speak again. "Isabella?"

She stilled, not even breathing, as sadness and joy surrounded me. Her hands slid from beneath mine, and I exhaled, opening my eyes, viewing the juxtaposition of my reality—my past, present, and future in the form of a tiny woman—with a new clarity. I stared at her kneeling in front of me. She resembled my first wife, if only at a glance, for she didn't actually look like Aglaia. They had the same glorious mahogany hair, heart-shaped face, and large eyes. Those eyes _…_ They had once been a velvety brown—identical to Aglaia's—but they were now a glowing crimson, meaning she wasn't as fragile as a human was; she couldn't get sick, couldn't die as easily.

I was prepared to feel angry and deceived. I felt neither, though. It might have been because deep down I knew nothing had changed and could never be. Maybe it was because I was relieved, for reasons that were beyond even me. But, maybe, I didn't want to have to _tell_ Isabella everything and then have her not understand. In my eyes, she would never be Aglaia—and that was a _good_ thing. But like Aglaia, her eyes were expressive, captivatingly so, and right now, she was hurt, scared, confused _…_ and repentant.

She said as much, mumbling a pained apology before standing and running. _Again_.

I stood slowly, watching her. I didn't know what to do. After the events of the night, I felt drained, exposed, and _raw_, and I debated between going after her and letting her run. However, remembering what was out in the world, this time knowing better, I still couldn't let her run. Not until she knew how to defend herself better and how to utilize her gift. Even then, she would have an escort, or at the very least, Demetri trailing her.

My eyes narrowed on her as she dashed into the courtyard. One would think that after what she had witnessed—what had hurt, scared, and cost me the most—she would know better.

I, on the other hand, was a fast learner, never forgetting I could discover a multitude with every experience, and if there was anything I had learned tonight, it was this: I was never letting her go. I would hold onto her with both hands, my eyes open, heart open. Yes, I would still miss Aglaia. But for reasons I couldn't fathom, God _…_ Fate _…__ whoever_, in their fickle and unforgivable ways, was offering me a second chance at love and happiness. Or, maybe, it was all merely a game, a test, because most of the time, it really felt that way. And I wouldn't fail this time around. I wouldn't make the same mistake twice. I never had. This time, because the woman was different, _I_ was different, and the circumstances were as well, so the ending will be. I would make sure of it.

Ignoring the inquisitive glances and expectant looks from those around me, I stormed after her, knowing exactly what to do. She had hesitated at the balustrade that edged the courtyard and was looking down with her head tilted to the side, probably pondering what would happen if she jumped the almost 500-meter drop. I slowed my approach, not wanting to scare her, lest she leaped. The impact wouldn't hurt her—_too badly_—and it might even be good for her, but I didn't want her to jump. I had something in mind, and it needed to be done here, with the ever-watchful eyes behind me.

The wind had picked up from earlier this afternoon, and it lifted her hair enticingly. I eyed the smooth, milky color of her neck, so graceful as it arched to the side, exposed. My mouth filled with venom, and the animal within growled approvingly. My gait became more predatory, each step smoother, more toxic. My body hummed in anticipation, and I savored it, slowing my pace further. What happened in the next few minutes would be one of our firsts of only a handful, and I rarely experienced any firsts anymore.

I stopped and closed my eyes. I had to wait, draw it out, pace myself. Yet, I allowed myself the thought of having all our firsts outside, in the midst of a brewing storm, but maybe, at all different times of the day. Between those and the image of what I was about to do, I was so goddamn aroused. _I couldn't wait …_

Taking deep breaths, I calmed myself. I was determined. I wanted to get this right, to take my time. Opening my eyes, I stood and took in the sight of Isabella. God, even a mess, her clothes torn and her hair in tangles, she was glorious. Her hair lifted again, whipping over her shoulder and exposing her neck again. My chest rumbled in appreciation, and I watched her stiffen. She knew I was there, and yet she didn't jump. I was glad.

I waited, closing my eyes again. I relished the feel of the wind against my skin, the sound of it, and the sweet, floral scent of Isabella carried with the breeze. I sought that eternal presence of her in the back of my mind, the one I could touch and taste and _feel_, but couldn't see when my mind was lost. It was a connection, which wasn't quite complete but would be, and it burned with an effervescent hum, gently reminding me that I wasn't alone, and I never would be. I wanted to remember the feeling and what happened here.

I heard her turn around, and I felt _…__ victorious_.

Lifting my lids slightly, I peered at her from beneath my lashes, wondering what she was doing, what she thinking. Her head was once again cocked to the side, eyes curious. She was studying me, taking in every inch. I moved, _slowly_, trying not to disturb the trance she was in. I remembered the feeling well. As a newborn, some things were more fascinating than most, and all you wanted to do was _watch_. She seemed to be the most mesmerized with my hair, always glancing at the strands ruffling in the wind. I thought of how it would feel to have her fingers running through them, of her tugging with an eager fistful.

A low, steady rumble simmered in my chest, and I watched her eyes darken to a deep wine-red, her body no doubt reacting to mine. I paused, groaning, because I could _smell_ her. Her eyes snapped to mine and widened before she ducked her head. She became translucent in the cheeks and the neck, like _…_ she was blushing.

I grinned. _Oh, how delicious …_

Then she straightened, her bearing regal and defiant with her chin lifted and her shoulders pulled back. "I'm not going to run."

I hid my smile and nodded amicably.

We continued to stare at each other; me, pleased and waiting, and Isabella, unsure and expectant.

When she finally came to the conclusion I wasn't going to attack her, she took hesitant steps toward me.

Four steps in, she halted, glancing around, searching. She was trying so hard not to run. I gave her a small, sad smile. I understood. I knew she was scared, nervous, and confused—that she was warring with herself. Her mind naturally screamed for her to flee because she didn't know me, yet her soul yearned to be closer, to have that profound intimacy with me.

I took a step before raising my brows at her.

She smiled, shy and amused, and then took a step herself.

As we closed the distance between ourselves, step by step, I bit my lip, trying not to laugh at the ridiculousness of our actions. But, it was also positively warming, and I thought of what I could say for her to understand what I was about to do. Normally before the act, each culture had different declarations, holding individual significance, done with a single purpose and always in their native tongues. Isabella wouldn't understand a word of mine, and I _needed_ her to. I was going to claim my mate, in one of the most barbaric of ways. She was _mine_, and now she would _know_ it, and so would anyone who looked upon her.

I smiled. Only two feet left between us. Neither of us moved any closer, though. It was my turn, but I wanted her to trust me, and that would mean I would have to show her I had no problem waiting _…_ too long. Having thought of the perfect declaration, I inched a little closer to her.

Reaching out achingly slow, I repeated the caress she gave me moments before. I exhaled, blowing softly across her face. Slowly and tentatively, with light fingertips, I brushed her cheek, pouring my promise into the touch. Again and again and again, I used my thumb, the tips and the back of my fingertips. Her eyes flitted closed. I smiled softly, delighted that she understood and trusted me enough to do so. I carefully laid my other hand on her opposite cheek, drawing myself closer. I grazed her gingerly arched brows with my thumb, and then swept it under an eye. My other hand moved unhurriedly down to cup the side of her neck, my thumb rubbing reassuringly. Finishing the slow, exquisite caress, the back of my fingers glided from the corner of her jaw to her chin, tilting it up.

I lowered my head, my lips hovering above hers as I thought it funny how she had done that for me mere moments before, when it seemed like years ago to me. I exhaled as she inhaled, a breath passing through our slightly parted mouths. The idea of sharing air caused a delicious tingle up my spine, and I shuddered, closing my eyes. My hands kept moving, one tunneling into her hair, the other sliding across her clavicle, her shoulder, and down her arm. My fingers threaded Isabella's as I brushed my lips against hers, and then lightly grazed her cheek before settling near her ear.

I breathed her in. Freesia, Madonna Lilies, and the metallic blood still her hair _…_ _So sweet __…_ So mine. My altered declaration was perfect, for it was as ancient as me, spoken in her modern tongue, and it couldn't be confused with my beloved, late wife. The second verse _…_ well, that was poetic irony, making the statement—the announcement—_flawless_.

I whispered it, squeezing her hand for emphasis. "I am my _love's_, and my love _is mine_. I feedeth among the lilies."

I might not love her now, and she might not love me, but someday, I would. I had already known it, and I had planned to fight it for as long as possible, but not anymore. My words were a promise—to myself, to her—and my next primal act was a testament to that. I would forever be accountable to her, _for_ her. I was binding myself to her physically, bearing anything and everything for her. In the eyes of the Volturi, and by the Ancient's law, her punishments would be mine. Her fate would truly be my own. And I rejoiced that I was doing this willingly, without outside influence or the compulsion from my beast, who was strangely quiet.

Before Isabella could do anything more than tense, my arm swiftly snaked around her waist, bringing her hand—that was still joined with mine—to her back, locking it there. My other hand gripped the hair at the nape of her neck and yanked. Then I sank my teeth into her, directly below her ear. She jerked and let out a throaty whimper. But she wasn't fighting me. She clutched at my shoulder with her free hand, steadying herself, her nails digging and puncturing hardened flesh. Her chest heaved with trembling little pants that sounded like erotic pleas in my ear.

The beast within me roared, rearing his head in glory as his claws drove into the ground, relishing his freedom and his mate. He engrossed himself in her unique scent, her distinctive taste—mixed with my own. He was feral with it, lapping at the essence of her, burrowing in it, as he was.

And I reveled in it—the animalistic sensuality, the greedy intent. Like my beast, I was _ravenous_, sinking my teeth further into Isabella. And God damn it all to hell if I didn't hear a small, guttural moan escape her. She was losing herself in the same sensations I was burning in, and it spurred me on. I dropped to my knees, taking her with me and wrapping her legs around my waist, my teeth still buried in her throat. Desire and fulfillment consumed us both, choking and reviving us by turns.

With my arms around her, I drew a hand up her back, rubbing up her spine, making her arch. My hand clasped the base of the back of her neck, wrapping around, then pulling her down—onto me. She gasped and pushed down, grinding against me and forcing me to widen my legs so she could press further down. A growl thundered in my chest. I hadn't planned for us to go this far; she wasn't thinking, and neither was I. But oh, how I wanted to go there.

I leaned forward, pushing her to lie back and planting a hand on the ground to steady us as I did so, for she wasn't reaching behind her to steady herself. Instead, she continued clutching me, an arm keeping my head immobile and my teeth buried in her neck, while her other arm, tucked under my own and across my back, squeezed me to her. As one, we lay down, seeking more friction as my body slid up hers.

But then I paused. Being too tall for her, I would need to straighten and remove my teeth from her neck to align us hip to hip. I had to decide between stopping our soul-filled connection and giving in to my body's demands, or waiting and preserving what little trust I had gained.

I groaned. And it wasn't in pleasure. The logical answer was easy, but _…__ painful_.

The overwhelming sensations began to ebb … to an extent. Simply, now, I didn't feel like I was drowning. I hugged Isabella to me and sat us up. I pulled back, unlatching my teeth, and licked the bite cautiously, closing it. My beast purred, surprisingly content and even more possessive. I, on the other hand, was shaking. The _vestigium morientis libertatis_ was _…__ intense_. Never would I have guessed the emotions involved, even when I had witnessed one before.

Dropping my forehead onto her shoulder, I tried to get my bearings. It had been a long night, and it had merely begun.

I felt Isabella's fingers hesitantly running through my hair, and I squeezed her, grateful that she was giving me a moment and wasn't moving away from me.

When I finally leaned back to look at her, I rubbed the mark with my thumb. "Are you all right?"

She hummed in reply, a little distracted and thoughtful as she stared and played with the ends of my hair. She peeked up at me before looking back down at her fingers in my hair. It wasn't out of distraction this time, though; it was nervousness, and she asked shyly, "Are you?"

I bent toward her, brushing my lips across the Marking as I hummed, giving her the same response she had given me.

When I looked at her, she raised her brows, aware of it. I hid a smirk. Yes, I knew it wasn't exactly sufficient, just like her answer, but there were no words adequate to explain how I felt. She gazed at me intently, searching my eyes and seemingly trying to find the words. But I knew. I understood _…_

She was grateful.

I grasped her face, leaned my forehead against hers, and closed my eyes as everything inside me _soared._ I had made the right choice. I had stopped. I hadn't taken from her a choice that should be _wholly_ hers. Isabella's hands wrapped around my wrists, squeezing, and I felt gratitude radiate from her palms and seep into me.

I sighed. God, I felt _good_.

And it terrified me. I had wanted to prolong the time without consuming emotions, for it prolonged the end. But I couldn't; it had been inevitable. Standing on a precipice, watching something grand and wonderful pass me by below my solid foothold, only made me want to jump, to be awash in it and carried away. And I decided; I jumped.

Isabella gave me a small, frightened smile of understanding. There was no fighting the current, no turning back after the events of the night. I nodded, resolute and revived. There was much to figure out, and we needed to get started.

Her eyes suddenly snapped to something behind me. I looked over my shoulder, seeing only Aro, Marcus, Demetri, and Jasper. I stood, taking Isabella with me and setting her down. We both ignored how it felt when she slid down my body to her feet, shifting away from each other to face those who remained. Only after a bit hesitation did I clasp her hand, showing a united front.

Aro inclined his head, acknowledging my decision, and then took his leave.

Demetri was more somber than I thought he would be. He lifted his chin before closing his eyes and bowing his head respectfully. I could almost hear his words. _I am happy for you, even if I am frightened for you. But, as you wish._ I stood taller, inclining my chin to him, glad he wouldn't fight me on the choice I made, proud to have him as a friend—to have him standing beside me, beside Isabella.

I looked at my sire as Demetri left. After experiencing the thought of losing my mate, I had a better understanding of his loss and the choices he made—although, I still didn't understand why he _didn't_ perform the v_estigium morientis libertatis _with Didyme. Fists clenched, eyes black and tortured, Marcus tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace. He nodded, though, and spoke through gritted teeth. "I am truly overjoyed for you, even if I cannot express it." He turned to leave, but not before I saw bitter envy flash in his eyes.

Jasper looked confused, not understanding the intense interaction between everyone. I wouldn't explain it to him yet; he would find out soon enough.

He nodded at my silence. "All right, don't tell me. But I want to know soon." With one more glance from me to Isabella, he nodded again before following Marcus.

I looked at the damage of the atrium and sighed. There was much to be rebuilt, and it wouldn't look the same afterward. _So many changes_, I thought grudgingly. And all of it had happened in such a small amount of time.

I turned to Isabella and jerked my chin towards the atrium. "Can you explain what happened in there?"

Isabella turned to me, nervous and thoughtful. She had a sudden glint in her eyes as she gestured at the space everyone vacated, and then the mark. "Care to explain what just happened?"

I laughed, hearing the double entrendre in our similar answers as she threw my question and my previous response back at me. Our answer, and the duality of it, was becoming the theme of the night _…_

_No, but I will _**_try_**_._

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_**Author's Note:**__ Whew! Okay, I'm sure there are questions. Please make sure your PMs are enabled, so I can answer them. Or, stop by IL&W's forum and we'll have a field day. __Reviews for this chapter are like (and maybe, _of_) Not-So-Loving Memories (of waiting __forever__ for an update). Leave one, and you'll get teased a week before the next update. _  


_**References**  
** Proverb: "All good things must come to an end" — 1374, Chaucer. First attested in the United States around 1680. The word 'good' was added much later. "Everything has an end" and "Everything comes to an end" are variants of the proverb. ("Random House Dictionary of Popular Proverbs and Sayings" by Gregory Y. Titelman, 1996)_

_** Madonna Lilies are native to the Balkan Peninsula—one country being Greece. The Coat of Arms of Florence has the fleur-de-lis, which is often described to be a lily, specifically the Madonna Lily, but the fleur-de-lis resembles more of an Iris, and Italy has no national flower. (Wikipedia) Oh, and the name Aglaia  is ancient Greek, not Roman. (behindthename-dot-com)_

_**_**_ meus lux lucis_**_ — Latin for "my light." (__WordTran/NeuroTran®__) Also, the Roman name Lucius__ was derived from the Latin word *__lux__, "light." (behindthename-dot-com)_

_** Although my Caius's more natural tongue is Latin and every day Italian, his native language would have to be of the Illyrian variety, but because there are no examples __of ancient Illyrian literature surviving, it's difficult to pinpoint. And because I have this Caius originating from NE Italy, I would like to say his native tongue is__ actually Venetic—an ancient language from the area, akin to (but differs from) Latin and Italian, and not to be confused with Venetian—but Venetic is dated from __the 6th to the 1st century BC__. The Veneti are recorded to have been in the area __as early as 1000 BC, while the __Illyrians__ are dated back to the early Bronze Age (3300BC) in Illyria (modern day Croatia and part of Slovenia) bordering NE Italy, and Caius is from late Bronze Age (1550-1200BC)__. I'm having his tribe one of the many Illyrians that scattered and settled north, being one of the first people (before with the __Paleoveneti)__ to inhabit the modern-day Venato (the Italian region of Venice and Verona), thus forging with the __Paleoveneti__ what was later and is now known as the ancient people, Adriatic Veniti, who spoke Venetic. __According to Julius Pokorný, the ethnonym __Venetī__ (singular *__Venetos__) is derived from Proto Indo-European root __*u̯en-__ 'to strive; to wish for, to love'.__Etymologically related words include Latin *__venus, *-eris__ 'love, passion, grace'; Sanskrit *__vanas-__ 'lust, zest', *__vani-__ 'wish, desire'; Old Irish __fine__ (Proto-Celtic __*venjā__) 'kinship, kinfolk, alliance, tribe, family'; Old Norse *__vinr__, Old Saxon, Old High German *__wini__, Old Frisian, Old English *__wine__ 'Friend'.__ (Wikipedia)  
_

_** Caius's declaration was altered from Song of Solomon 6:3, "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine: __he__ feedeth among the lilies" (KJV); "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine, He who pastures his flock among the lilies." (NASB, 1995). Note that Caius also pastures his flock (his people) among the "lilies"—back then in Illyria, part of the Balkans bordering Italy in NE, and in Italy and its often-believed "lily" of the fleur-de-lis.  
_

_** _**_Vestigium morientis libertatis _**_— Latin for "the Marking of a dying liberty." (__WordTran/NeuroTran®__) I got the idea from a Latin quote: "manebant [etiam turn] vestigial morientis libertatis," meaning "the footmarks of a dying liberty" or "there still remained traces of dying liberty." (Latin Phrases & Quotations, Richard A Branyon, 1994; The Routledge Dictionary of Latin Quotations, Jon R. Stone, 2004) Hail Tacitus, the Roman senator and historian! *knuckle bumps* The man was known for many things, including his unconventional use of Latin. I'm taking a lesson from him, and doing the same thing here. If I got it wrong, I'm sorry, but it bears a significant amount of weight in this story. I do need a few translators, though … You interested?_


	12. In NotSoLoving Memory—Part Two

_**Author's Note:**__ The wonderful AnthroBug and amazing Twimarti beta'd. I really don't know what I'd do without PTB and my like-minded beta. ;) Thanks to xconfessedx for proofreading. High fives to prettykittyartist and nails233. By giving me someone to write with, they both helped me get this chapter done. The biggest hug for those who reviewed the last chapter—I thought everyone hated it. _

* * *

— "_Need" by Hana Pettle —_

* * *

_Chapter 12_

**In Not-So-Loving Memory — Part Two**

**ISABELLA SWAN**

As I regarded the man slowly leading me into the atrium, I tried to make sense of what had happened. I couldn't. Too much had happened. Too much had changed. There were simply too many emotions and images coursing through my mind and body. The storm in my head might have settled like the hall I was walking into, but the damaging difference was still there. The cavern that was my mind was a messy heap of information and unwanted memories of the man holding my hand, and with that knowledge came an understanding of being left behind, and the will to be patient—the will to try. What I had seen of his past and had lived through him had altered me, and I knew without a doubt that I couldn't leave—not without him.

Watching Caius now, his gait resolute and demeanor calm, I never would've guessed he could be so terrified, or that he had been. Guilt and slight regret filled and punctured me, making me doubt and wish for so many things. I had provoked him—no, I had practically _made_ him relive his most horrifying memory, and I wished that I hadn't. I couldn't control my newborn reactions, though—much less my gift.

I looked around the atrium, taking in the damage I had caused with the destructive ability I also wished that I didn't have. The pure white, almost-transparent marble was crushed and fractured, and I knew repair was out of the question, and replacing it might be, too. Lovely details—from the soft-colored tile designing the floor and the intricately painted mosaics on the walls between destroyed columns—were indiscernible. The high, iron-latticed glass ceiling, once protecting everything below it, was gone. Yet the room, even in its destruction, seemed _…_ otherworldly, like a dream of alabaster lace, veiling faces and scenes, full of meaning and wonder—though, now, ran amuck and sadly forgotten with its emptiness.

My mood reflected the destitution. I no longer knew what was to become of me. I felt empty and lost amidst the ruins of life and circumstances. And now, I lived here—this place where I knew no one and no one knew me. Could I get used to this place? Could I live an eternity here? I scrutinized the large space, taking in the quiet bareness—the cold loneliness. No, I didn't think I could get used to living here. But, maybe, there were other areas of the castle that were just as beautiful while feeling _lived_ in.

Feeling eyes on me, my gaze snapped to Caius, who was staring at me—_reading_ me. I hadn't realized we had stopped, and he knew it. His jaw twitched, but so did his lips. He was slightly displeased, yet somehow also amused. I was beginning to see he was a complicated man—one who felt a wide range of emotions and bounced between them all at an alarming rate. He was a man of action, of doing, and, while admirable, it could be damn frightening as well. A person wouldn't know what _exact _emotion he was acting on. He was unpredictable and greatly misunderstood. What could be perceived as anger was sometimes merely fear and protectiveness. I realized that now.

I closed my eyes. There was the regret again. Now that the contentment and the high of _…_ whatever that was with him was dwindling, I was apprehensive. I could read him _so easily_—more so now, after what we had experienced together, here and in the courtyard. We hardly knew each other, yet we _did_. The closeness was disarming, startling, and motherfucking confusing, making me _almost_ wish everything before hadn't occurred. _Almost _because a part of me was trembling at the uncertainty of it all—him, me, _us_—while another part was rejoicing and goddamn tap dancing with giddiness.

So, I couldn't entirely wish the circumstances and what had led to them to be any different. But did it have to be so fast and all-consuming? I didn't want another whirlwind relationship, where it was the only thing I concentrated on and had define me; how it became the only thing that really mattered and drove me—all without thought and time. I didn't want to _want_ him—_to need him_—so badly. It was dangerous and unhealthy, and it scared the shit out of me. As a romantic, and before Edward, I used to dream of having such a relationship—most of us did. But did you _really_?

Being a newborn obviously wasn't helping me get my bearings, either, and being excited and terrified at the same time was making matters worse. I wanted to blame the man standing with me in this amazing room, but I couldn't. After what I had seen and experienced with him, I understood his reasons for changing me and wanting to keep me close, as I was his mate, and I reminded him of the wife he had lost. I understood he didn't want to get hurt—that he was just as scared as I was, even if it was for entirely different reasons.

Still, knowing and understanding the facts didn't help matters. Nothing had changed. My mind, body, and soul continued warring with each other—with themselves. I wanted to claw at my body, at my head, at the _very center_ of me. I couldn't make up my mind. I couldn't decide, and it was driving me _crazy_.

My eyes flew open before narrowing on Caius. He was cool and collected with his own eyes narrowed and head cocked in question. My anger and irritation with him and his decisiveness grew; he was so easy to blame for the state I was in. Yet, before either emotion could take root, he grabbed a hold of me. He took my head between his palms and threaded his fingers in my hair, pulling me up a little and making me stand on my toes. I planted my hands on his chest to steady myself and to be ready to shove him away if needed.

We eyed each other, still and fixated, waiting to see what the other would do.

But then, he lowered his forehead to mine and squeezed my head gently as he nodded. "I know _…_ I know you are angry with me. Most of us are with our sires in the beginning." His grip slackened as he grazed his nose against mine once. "I'm not going to say I'm sorry, though." He smiled. "Because I am not."

My hands tightened on his shirt as I growled in his face. "You're not helping." He was, though, and he knew it.

He threw his head back and laughed. The sound and look of him were _…_ enchanting. Combined with his fingertips rubbing the base of my skull, he was soothing—and _distracting_.

"All right. How about this _…_" He looked around the room, still kneading and squeezing my head. "Did you know marble similar to that in this room can be found in several places, one being the Taj Mahal? "

I hummed and closed my eyes as he began massaging my temples as well. My body relaxed a bit more, my head growing heavy in his hands and lolling back as my hands dropped to his waist.

Answering him, I mumbled, "No, I hadn't ever been out of U.S. before coming here."

"Hmm, we will have to rectify that."

Finding him and that statement a bit presumptuous and pretentious, I opened my eyes to give him a questioning glance, but my lids felt heavy and dreamy. I gave in, shutting my eyes.

I could _feel_ him smiling as he continued. "Now, there is also the Birla Lakshmi Narayan Temple in Jaipur, India. It is particularly beautiful at night. Seen from the air with lights shining on it, the building is _…_ otherworldly."

I chuckled. "That's exactly what I thought about this hall."

He hummed and stepped closer. "Did you?"

My senses flared. I felt his body brush—_slide_—up the front of mine. I couldn't answer. I couldn't even speak. All I could do was…_want_. My hands, which were now pressed between us, moved slowly across his waist and up the ridged plane of his abdomen. He was lean and muscular and all male. The scent of him—so gloriously appealing to my heightened sense of smell—flooded my nose, making my mind hazy and that mated flame within _burn_. I leaned up on my toes, pressed my face into the base of his neck, and inhaled. The clean, refreshing fragrance of pine trees so heady, I couldn't help but moan and drag my nose along the side of his neck.

His hands stilled in my hair, and I felt his own sharp intake of breath under my palms, _under my skin_, pulling that flame higher, brighter, and all over. His hands dropped to my shoulders, gliding outward and slightly down my arms. He squeezed, pulling me closer as his nose and mouth grazed against my cheek and ear. The sensation and sound of him breathing me in was enough to make me snap. My mind cleared, and I suddenly knew what I wanted.

Blindly, I reached down and bunched the bottom of his shirt in my hands, pushing it up and out of the way before burying my hands beneath it. I flattened my palms against skin and rock-hard flesh, and it trembled under the slow, inquisitive exploration of every ridge, groove, and that oh-so-masculine thatch of hair on his chest. Splaying my fingers wide, my hands roamed the wide expanse of his chest. He was so much bigger than I was, than he initially appeared to be. I should have been intimidated, but I wasn't.

I was needy.

And he knew it. His suddenly deep inhales and clasping grasp told me so.

I could feel his restraint in the way he kneaded the tops of my arms, in the tautness of his body, how he licked his lips and bit down as my face passed the front of his and moved to the other side of his neck. It was enough to let me know how badly he wanted to touch and take, but wouldn't. He'd let me take my time, savoring it all the same. And it made me want him more.

I leaned up further—_closer_—with the intention of whispering my questioning plea in his ear, but my nipples grazed his chest between my parted fingers, and the combination was too much. I gasped, pressing myself against him with my fingers closed around the tips of me.

He snapped. He pushed me back against the wall, his body covering mine. With hands fisted in my hair at the nape of my neck, he leaned down, his lips hovering above my own as he whispered, "Isabella _…_"

He was restraining himself again, and I knew it was for my sake. But this time I didn't want him to hold back. That light—the one somehow shared between the two of us—blazed. My body choked for air, for something ___…_ more. I craved for more than our chests heaving and rubbing against each other and the sound of our pants echoing in the hall. My body demanded it. I wanted to taste him, to feel him, to be even more connected with him.

I pulled him closer and carefully licked my lips, boldly making sure the tip of my tongue gently touched the bottom lip of his slightly parted mouth.

It was enough.

He pulled me up and our mouths connected, swiftly opening and turning deeper with tilted heads and sharp intakes of breath. There was a sigh—his, mine, I wasn't sure—but it was shaky, and I understood. The kiss was nothing a first kiss usually was, but everything it should be—not hard and rough, but neither gentle nor tentative, either. It was desperate, full, and thorough with tongues stroking, matching, _tasting_. Sharing breath, emotion, and need to the point that I couldn't tell the difference between him and me, and the feeling shook me to my core.

He kissed with a passion that could never be falsified, outmatched, or replicated and I was drunk with it. He knew what he wanted, and he put his whole body into it, drawing me out and drinking me in as he did. And I gave myself to him, letting him touch and take as I touched and took. My hands spread across the contours of his muscular back, pulling and clutching, before gathering his already-shredded shirt. I yanked, hearing it rip completely. He withdrew. I ached.

But then I found myself being lifted and his body once again sliding up the front of my own as the sound of flying buttons zinged through the thick air. He hadn't completely removed my shirt—it still hung from my shoulders—and nor had he removed my flimsy bra, but it was enough to feel warm, firm flesh against my own. His torso, hands, hips pinned me to the cool wall, with my hands in his hair and my legs wrapped around his waist to secure him there.

Our gazes locked, and he watched me closely with bright obsidian eyes as he leaned forward slowly. He pulled my bottom lip into his mouth, gently sucking, biting, and dragging. With my head tilted back and mouth slightly open, I panted and watched. I didn't _have to_ breathe, but I wanted to. I could taste both him and me on my tongue better if I did, and watching him taste us from my lip made the distinct flavor all the sweeter.

Unhurriedly, he dragged a palm down my front, while the other grazed up my side. The countering movements so enticing that my hands and legs squeezed him closer. As he palmed a breast and swept his thumb across the peak of the other, his tongue slipped between my parted lips in conjunction with a thrust of his hips.

He groaned. I gasped, or sighed—maybe even both—as my head fell back, causing the cracking of marble to reverberate through the hall, _through me_. Our hips began moving, rubbing, _grinding_ with a single driven purpose. Our hands groped and clawed in silent pleads for _more_.

And I suddenly couldn't breathe. I was drowning in some kind of raw, unidentifiable sensation. I panted. "Caius _…_?"

It was a question. What the hell was happening? Could he feel what I felt? What were we even doing? We had only met a few hours ago, and I barely knew anything about him.

But a part of me didn't care as he licked the new mark on my neck before sucking it. A thrill shot through me, enlivening and arousing at the same time. I moaned. "Caius _…_"

It was an invocation—an entreaty uttered repeatedly to go further … but also to stop. I was in yearning agony, my body burning—and not entirely in a good way. It was plummeting into profound desire and terror, while my soul soared and seared me with white-hot light. I knew what my body and soul wanted—what they were demanding of me—but there was a tiny piece that wasn't ready.

And with each chant of his name, Caius understood. Between each nip, lick, and kiss, he replied, "I know."

His touches became gentler and less urgent, his body no longer pushing into my own. He kissed me once more, this time slower and gentler but no-less affectionate. As it ended, he leaned his forehead on mine, opened his eyes, and whispered, not disappointedly, but regretfully against my lips, "I know."

I instinctively reached up, my thumb rubbing the stiffness in his brow and causing his lids to shut. I caressed his twitching jaw next. Yes, he knew, but he was hurting—just as I was. Our bodies, our souls—_that damn light_—were painfully greedy, excruciatingly so. But at this moment, I was becoming more … captivated with him. His restraint caused a tenderness to well up at the center of my chest, helping dampen the ache and fortifying my decision to _try _to trust him.

I leaned forward, breathing him in as I brushed my lips across his in gratitude.

He tightly gripped my hips in response.

My stomach lurched, and I gasped, crying out as a snapshot of the cabin exploded in my mind, blinding me momentarily like the flash of a camera.

I fell, and the impact jarred me in time to see Caius fly back and land in a dragging crouch. His head snapped up, eyes bright and piercing.

I shook my head, my body trembling as I gasped. "I'm sorry."

He stood slowly and shook his head. "It is all right," he replied carefully, monotone.

I shook mine again in reply. "No. It's just that that _…_ hold reminded me too much of—"

His eyes darkened as his jaw and hands clenched. "I know."

No, he didn't—not really. He probably saw the _…_ aftermath all over the cabin or even the video taken during _…_ the act. But, what he didn't understand, what he couldn't know, was that my brain had somehow shut a door on the experience, blocking it off completely to the point that I didn't always _remember_, like it didn't even happen to me.

I stood slowly, eyeing him as he cautiously walked toward me. How would I ever explain without sounding more than just forgetful, when vampires had excellent memory?

He searched my eyes. "What is it?"

I hesitated.

"You have a disconcerting look upon your face." His eyes narrowed into angry slits. "Do not lie and tell me it is nothing."

Oh, how to word it _…_ How to describe it _…_

"_Tell me._"

"I, uh _…_" I looked away from his fierce and scrutinizing gaze, before turning back to him. "Sometimes, I don't remember _…_" I trailed off.

"What happened to you," he finished for me, nodding knowingly. "And mainly the events at the cabin."

It was a statement, and I faltered a little but nodded anyway. I suffered memory loss, but that was simply the by-product of the change. I just wasn't sure if there was more I was purposely "forgetting." How could you know if you were missing memories, if you couldn't remember them in the first place? Tricky thing, that.

Gingerly, he closed the distance between us and touched the hand I didn't know was gripping the roots of my hair. I let go as he took my hand in his. He squeezed it while he comfortingly rubbed the top of my arm. A thoughtful expression was on his face as he focused on our joined hands and murmured, "I think that in your case, it is normal."

He met my eyes, seeing the slight hope in them.

I tried to push the feeling down as I asked, "Really? How so?"

"If there is an incident that is _…_" he paused, choosing his words "_…_ particularly shaming, I could understand where you would want to forget it. How you—as a vampire—could close it off so you simply _wouldn't_ remember."

I blew out a breath, slightly at ease because of his sound logic, but also a little disappointed that he wasn't sure, that he couldn't tell me it had happened before.

Using a knuckle, he turned my face, bringing my eyes back to his before he continued. "I do not think it would be uncommon, but you would have to talk to someone who has endured what you have to be sure." His brows furrowed and he frowned, but it was only for a second. He tilted his chin down and quirked a brow.

I nodded, understanding his silent question and appreciating what he thought. _Yes, I'd try not to worry about it too much_—not yet, anyway. And it wasn't like there weren't other things to worry about, which reminded me of the phone call I needed to make.

But, before I could ask him about calling Jake, he said, "I do have a question, though."

I froze, panicking.

He quickly shook his head. "No, it has nothing to do with what happened with Victoria."

My lip curled as I growled a little at the name. He brushed his thumb on my bottom lip while shushing me, and I couldn't help but lick my lip and a little bit of his thumb to taste him. His gaze flicked to the movement, garnet eyes darkening, before he peeked up at me from beneath his lashes and a slow, small smile formed his lips.

My breathing hitched, and his smile grew.

_The bastard._ He knew what he was doing.

I shoved him, making him step back.

He laughed.

My eyes narrowed. He sure knew how to distract me, I'd give him that.

Still chuckling, he raised his hands. "It is only natural. We will always desire each other." His smile fell. "More so, now."

I sighed, figuring as much. I could feel it—that quiet fire threatening—_wanting_—to consume as it thrummed just beneath the surface.

"My question," he started, bringing me back, "was if you had forgotten once before."

"More like I had_ remembered_," I corrected. "And it was twice before."

He reached out, pulling me closer to him with his hands on my sides. I stared at him in surprise, realizing he took care not to grab my hips. The grip I had on his forearms relaxed, and his thumbs began rubbing my ribs, just under my breasts, before he asked, "And what set off the memory before?"

"Um _…_" I shook my head, trying to concentrate. "First, Jasper. He had been there when we first met Victoria." I snarled the name. His thumb brushed the underside of a breast. He did again on the other side, but this time close enough to a nipple but not quite.

He leaned in, lips grazing my ear as he whispered, "And the second time?"

I swallowed. "Uh _…_"

He stopped and looked at me.

"The emotions of those in the room. They were enraged—and devastated."

"Hmm …" His eyes glinted and hardened. "And how do those emotions coincide with _her_?"

My jaw clenched as I recalled the memories I did have, and hating them. But then, after a calming breath, I gave him a sad, knowing look as I answered, "Because she lost her mate. So, how could she not be both?"

I wished that a part of me didn't sympathize with her, but I _could_ remember the moments I saw her destitution in the cabin. She had rocked and hugged her body, whispering his name. She had clawed at her head and at her chest, roaring and pacing. It dimly reminded me of me after Edward had left, but more than that, I thought of the man in front of me. Although I hadn't been able to see him, I had been able to _feel_ him in the dark room I was trapped in after he and I had fought. I had heard his growls, snarls, and moans, the destruction he had caused to the space we were now standing in. I had tried to reach out to him, but I hadn't been able to see him. I hadn't been able to _find_ him. I had wanted to help him, had wanted him to help me. Yet, it wasn't possible. He and I had both been lost, and it wasn't together.

He abruptly yanked me into him, crashing his mouth to mine. It was rough and desperate—nearly insufferable. And it was both of us, clawing and taking and scarring. Like him, the fact that I could feel him wasn't enough. I needed to see him, to touch him, to _know_ beyond a single doubt that he was here, there, and every place in between.

We both hated it, too. I could tell in this kiss, as it had an angry edge. We didn't want to be so reliant on something that was not of our making—not of our own choice. But the inevitability was inescapable. We both knew that. We had accepted it—somewhat. At least, we were going to try and, as we stopped, breathing heavily with open, barely connected mouths and still hanging on to each other, I knew how hard we'd need to—and we would, for the sake of ourselves and the other.

He set me down on my feet and grabbed my hand. "Come. We need to get out of this room. Not only does it seem to have an effect on us, but I can hear the cleaning crew."

I hurriedly clutched the front of my shirt together with a hand and let him lead me, expecting heartbeats, but hearing none. "They're vampires?"

"Yes, a part of The Guard."

Before we turned a corner, I looked at the destroyed, yet still beautiful space. "Can the hall be restored as it was?"

He regarded me carefully out of the corner of his eye. "Yes."

"Who's the architect? Is he—she—still alive and able to do it? Because I really hope so."

He glanced at me, slightly amused at my rambling, before he looked away and picked up speed. We climbed a grand staircase in yet another grand hall—one that I envisioned full of women in exquisite ball gowns while the men donned tuxes. We walked across one of the balconies on either side of it, passing doors intricately hand-carved and each different from the last.

As we turned into a hallway, he finally answered, "Yes, I will be able to restore it."

I stilled, forcing him to stop. "You're _…_?"

"I designed and remodeled it." One side of his mouth lifted smugly. "I see that I have surprised you."

I was _stunned_. I took a good look at him, really taking him in. Even with the tattered clothes, _he_ was otherworldly: the platinum-blonde hair, the strong nose and jaw along with the long, feathered lashes surrounding stunning, garnet eyes—all sensually masculine. I admired his chest dusted with hair shades darker than that on his head and followed the corded extension of his arms to his hands. Yes, he was talented—enormously so. An architect, who spoke multiple languages, and I knew there was more. I waited for the usual feeling of inadequacy, but it never came. Instead, I felt _proud_ … and turned on. I wanted to claw those tattered clothes right off him and mark _his_ marble skin myself as something inside me screamed, _"Mine!"_

I shook my head at the thought and continued walking. Who knew what biting _him_ would mean, and if someone had to watch. _No, thank you. _I didn't intend to find out.

I stopped at an intersection of corridors, not knowing where I was going. I looked both directions. They looked similar. There was also an elevator directly in front of me. I knew we had to go up, but I would rather take the stairs. Enclosed spaces—_not even that_—weren't a good idea with Caius, especially if it was _that_ elevator.

Taking the corridor on my right, I walked quickly, minding my speed as I hurriedly looked for stairs. There had to be. I was _not_ riding another elevator with him.

I shivered at the soft, tickling sensation inching up my spine. Caius was smiling. I_ knew_ it. I could _feel_ it.

"Isabella?" he called out, sounding amused. "Our rooms are in this direction."

I turned—a little too quickly—and was thrown off balance. With eyes widened and a fuzzy sensation in my cheeks, I easily caught myself and headed in the right direction, walking past Caius and ignoring the delighted satisfaction radiating from him.

"Stairs are on the left," he said behind me.

My body twitched. He was so close _…_ and _quiet_. I didn't like it. I stopped and gestured ahead of me. "Lead the way."

That was a bad idea.

Like before when I had walked behind him, I could see the muscles rippling with each stride and swing of his arms—only this time without the dark grey button-up shirt. And as we went up another flight of stairs, I could see the muscular tone of his ass under the black slacks. I looked away, but still found myself glancing back.

Caius chuckled, and my cheeks grew fuzzy again.

He barked out a laugh and turned. "It is odd. I can almost feel when you do this." He caressed my cheek. "It is _…_ nice. Amusing."

"Yeah? Well, I hate it."

He smiled sadly. "You should not, for none of us can no longer blush."

I covered his hand and held it there. When put that way, I could understand the Cullens' admiration for it.

"Come," he said, tucking my hand in his elbow. "I am sure someone prepared a bath for you."

Side by side, he and I went up four more flights of stairs and ended up in the hall with a hole in the floor.

I gnawed at my lip before saying, "I'm sorry for all the damage I caused. I'd offer my help with the repairs, but I'd probably make it worse."

The corner of his jaw ticked once. "It is all right, Isabella. You are a newborn—only a few hours old. It will be a while before you can even open a door without crushing the handle."

"And that fact irritates you, doesn't it?"

He pursed his lips, annoyed. "Yes. How would you like it if something you created was destroyed? And repeatedly."

I winced. _Yeah, that would suck._ Then, I winced again, as I realized it was I—his mate—that would be doing all the destroying.

"Yet," he started, "I believe it will be to my advantage this time. A large part of your training is learning to control every aspect of yourself, which for newborns, includes strength. You will be helping me with the repairs. It will be an exercise, a deterrent, and a punishment."

I nodded. I would be spending more time with him, then.

We reached the last set of doors at the end of the hallway, going around the hole I had created when I had attacked him when I first awoke.

He pointed at the door to my right. "My room."

I eyed it, curious but also a little scared to see the room.

He pointed to the other door, which I knew was brand new by the strong, distinct smell. It also had a note taped to it with _'Caius'_ written across it. "Yours."

I didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. I was both. Definitely both. And maybe, slightly insulted, too.

Caius ripped the note off the door, opened it, and read it quickly. Then, he growled.

"What?" I asked.

"Sarah."

I stiffened. "What about her?"

"She asks that I try to convince you to speak to her before you call Jacob."

I searched his eyes. He wasn't going to try, even though I could tell by the slightly imploring look that he did want me to wait.

"Can I ask why?"

He opened the door, gesturing me inside as he sighed and said, "Jacob is Alpha."

Barely seeing the room, I sat down heavily on the bed. I didn't know why I was surprised, but I was. He was the Alpha already? So soon after _…_? I finally understood why they didn't want me to call Jake. They first had to tell me about Sam, and they were going to try to talk me out of telling Jake about his mom. Although I could understand why they didn't want me telling him _now_, it didn't mean I wasn't going to. The fact that he was Alpha only made it harder to decide, and I hadn't decided yet. How do you tell someone that the mother they thought was dead was now their red-eyed enemy?

I exhaled sharply and nodded at Caius. I would wait—_for now_. I wanted to know why she and Billy hadn't told Jake after he had shifted—when he had learned the truth about vampires. I was also extremely curious how she had even become a vampire.

Before Caius could say anything to me, I got up, marched to the bathroom—thankful that the door was open—and tried not to slam the door. I heard the aged wood crack, anyway, and Caius hiss. I didn't care about the damage or his reaction. I wanted to get that conversation with Mrs. Black—no, _Sarah_—over with. I wanted answers, too. I tore off my clothes, avoiding looking into the mirror in my periphery, and daintily pulled the plug in the tub. A bath sounded nice and all—it even smelled wonderful—but I didn't have time. And I was a little pissed off, as well. I wanted to damn her and Billy—and whoever the hell changed her—for putting Jake and me in this position. I didn't want to be the one who told him. I shouldn't be the one who did nor should I have to.

I turned the shower on, being as careful as I could be, and then hopped in. I sighed as the water hit and rushed over me. Even cold, the water felt wonderful. It was a little weird and disturbing, too. My skin felt … not exactly sensitive, but I was more attuned to each line of spray hitting me, and it was slightly alarming. Glancing around for shampoo, I noticed the large bathroom was done in contrasting light and warm colors—light creams and golds with deep sages and tawny browns.

I didn't care, seeing shampoo, conditioner, and body soap in pretty, little bowls on a stone sill behind me. Whoever had prepared my bath had thought of everything, because I didn't think I could squeeze anything out of a bottle, either. As I conditioned my hair, it dawned on me that it was probably Sarah who did all of this for me, and a hiss escaped me. It wasn't that I didn't like her, I was just unsure of her part in the situation. I didn't know her. I knew her son, who grew up to be amazing, even without her.

_Jake …_ I didn't know how he would react when he found out, and I couldn't understand why Billy had never told him. Okay, maybe I could. I mean, I was fucking terrified to tell Jake. Even though anyone would be happy to have a loved one back in their lives, this situation was entirely different, and it hurt to think of what it would do to him, what it could do to his relationship with his father. Anxiety prickled my neck. This secret could ruin them. Guilt nipped at the thought. How Jake reacted depended on how and when we told him. But could I keep this from him?

I rubbed the wolf tattoo on my hip, near my lower back. I had gotten it after graduation, going with Paul so I could surprise Jake and the rest of the pack. Paul didn't think I'd do it. But I had, never once second-guessing the decision, nor regretting it. I wondered what it looked like now. Victoria had cut into it, and as I thought of how she had cackled when she had done it, hate burned through me, just like it had when she had licked at it. I snarled, feeling my hands turn into claws as the air thickened in the stall.

An abrupt knock resonated in the bathroom, followed by, "Isabella?"

I took a few calming breaths, relaxing my stance and hands before I gritted out, "I'm fine, Caius."

He grunted.

I turned off the shower as I heard him walk away. Then, toweling off and combing my fingers through my hair—not even bothering to try to use a brush—I went to the adjacent closet. It was practically empty, but on top of one of the loveseats were a few outfits. I scanned them and scrunched my nose. Not one pair of jeans or even a t-shirt. I sorted through, knowing I was not wearing a dress or something that resembled a uniform. I gingerly put on a pair of black fitted dress pants and was grateful to hear only a couple tears as I wiggled into them. But I wasn't so lucky with the shirts. All the material was so delicate and silky, and I could barely hook my pants at the waist—no less, button a blouse. Finally able to slide into a mauve, sleeveless satin top that draped at the shoulders, I shrugged into a black, flowing cardigan and perused the shoes.

_Heels, of course._ Grumbling, I hooked a finger under the less-towering heel of the black leather ankle boots and strode out into my room. I cringed as the closet door swung and slammed into the wall. Although I noticed the room's similarities to the bathroom—it's white and creamy stone accentuated with gold gilded frames, the deep and woodsy tones of greens, sages, and browns of the furniture and upholstery—my eyes were drawn to the sitting room across the expansive space.

_Caius …_ He stood near a piano, angrily speaking in another language with an unfamiliar man. Though the man was artfully handsome with dark, slightly wavy hair and a sharp, angular body, my eyes focused upon Caius. He simply shone in the dimly lit room, its wall of windows yawning into the dark, stormy night as they served as a backdrop and only accentuating him and the halo of damp platinum-blond hair. His fresh pair of dark, finely tailored clothing making it even more pronounced, and I itched to touch the brilliant strands, to run my fingers through them.

He froze mid-sentence and turned to look at me, his eyes meeting my own and _…_ enthralling, _beckoning_. I was barely aware of moving across the room as I met him halfway. We stopped, both of us hesitating before hands reached out and sought a connection, that simple reassurance. Our bodies sighed and fell into that luring hole of urgent longing—now, so achingly familiar that I would rather do without it, but wouldn't know what to do if I lost it. Sharp breaths were taken through open mouths to smell and taste the air, which was heady and more poignant with the other's scent because of our showers. Nails and fingertips bit into stone flesh, in both desire and fear, as we tried to resist.

And we won—for now. He took a step back and scooped up my shoes from the floor. He led me by my elbow into an armchair, settled me in it, and dropped to a knee. Reaching inside a boot, he drew out the silk knee-high stockings. He peeked up at me before sliding one over my toes, my heel, my calf. I swallowed. I watched him as he did it again to the other side. The feel of his hands dragging up and then down my calves, the sensuality of it, and the image of him down on his knees before me made it hard to breathe. But it was also those dark, impassioned eyes and his gentle intent to not only touch me but do this for me that made it even more meaningful and evocative.

As Caius unhurriedly slipped a boot over my foot, the man I didn't know and had forgotten about chuckled. "Now, there is a picture to capture."

"Isabella," Caius said, tone hard and sharp as he yanked on my other boot. "Meet Demetri."

Demetri smirked, looking roguish, and then he inclined his head. "Mistress." My brows rose at the moniker. He bowed his head, and his smile grew as he said, "I am at your service."

My eyes widened incredulously, before I looked away and hummed noncommittally. He was devastatingly handsome and had an extremely charming air about him, but I wouldn't be asking for any services.

Caius took my hand and drew me up. "He is the head of the Volturi Guard, and he will be _your_ personal guard."

I glanced at each of them questioningly, before my attention snapped to Demetri. My back stiffened, my body instantly alert and alarmed because I finally noticed that he didn't have a smell. Shaking my head, I resisted the urge to back away and hiss at him. I still snarled. "What _…_?"

"You will have two guards," started Caius. "The other will come to you in the morning. And, yes, Demetri has no smell. It is one of the many characteristics that make him the best tracker known."

"Useful since she is exceptionally quiet physically while being cognitively hard to read. Process shuffling and almost muted," Demetri commented, tapping his temple. "She is also rapidly learning to control and mind her strength." He glanced at my barely-torn clothing and the hand tucked in Caius's elbow, before his eyes flicked to my bedroom. "With a few exceptions, of course."

Caius nodded and hummed. "Yes. The first can be both a good and a bad quality. The second is a blessing."

My brows furrowed at his slightly callous words and the indifferent, almost haughty tone. He was no longer the man from earlier: playful, soft. His demeanor was rigid, his expression hard and cold. The scowl—this time from irritation and worry—marred what was his handsome face.

"Yes," agreed Demetri.

I looked at them, shifted uncomfortably, and said, "Um, okay … I'm standing right here. Want to tell me what's going on?" I gently squeezed Caius's arm. "You're irritated, and it's not with him. You were also angry earlier and, even though I didn't understand what you were saying, I heard my name."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Demetri's smile slip from his face, and I knew it was serious. I searched both their faces. "What is it?"

Caius's jaw clenched, his scowl deepening. "We are having trouble with Marcus. I told you he lost his mate, Didyme, 1600 years ago. Well, before this evening, he did not remember having a mate."

My brow furrowed. "How is that possible?"

"Gregory, a fellow Guard member," answered Demetri. "He has the ability to erase memory."

My brows rose as I turned to him. Did he mean _…_?

Demetri nodded as he supplied, "Any or all memory. Human and vampire. On humans, it is dangerous, as it can cause insanity. Although it doesn't have the same effect on vampires, with our memory capacity, deletion is not permanent. The removal process needs to be done at continuous intervals, and there are times when something—or some_one_—provokes the memory."

I looked away. "Oh _…_"

I didn't know what else to say. It was obviously me who had reminded Marcus of his mate.

"Okay," I said, nodding. "So, I'll stay away from him."

"It is not that easy, Isabella," Caius replied tersely. "You are my mate, and he is my sire. Unless we delete his entire memory that binds him here, he will want to get to know you because of me. He is my oldest friend, and I am his, and he cannot leave. Aro and I will not allow it."

My brow furrowed. "Why not? If it makes it easier _…_"

"The Volturi is a triumvirate. Yet, if we lose one person, the other two are … forced to step down. As each of us want to stay in power, it helps ensure stability—a separation of powers, a check and balance—while preventing a _Coup d'état. _And, can you imagine what would happen—what he would do—if we let him go with the memory of losing his mate?" He gave me a meaningful look.

No, I couldn't imagine the havoc he could cause, not after having witnessed Victoria and Caius's reactions.

He squeezed my hand into his side. "Therefore, it is also for us to keep an eye him."

Again, I didn't know what else to say. I had nothing to offer as a solution.

Demetri interrupted my thoughts. "We also theorize that it simply wasn't you. He had met you before, and he did not think of Didyme, then. It must have been the atmosphere, seeing you and Caius _…_" he paused, glancing at the two of us "_…_ _happy_, along with Eleazar prompting memories." He bowed his head again, in earnest, as he said, "We will figure something out. We always do."

I nodded, trying to convince myself we would. Appreciating how he tried to comfort me with his words, I gave him a small, wobbly smile. I really hoped we'd figure out a solution.

"Now, I must depart." He gave me another bow. "Isabella." He gave Caius a pointed look before he dashed out of room, disappearing into another adjoining bedroom, which was dark.

"What was that about?" I asked Caius.

"He is guaranteeing Sarah's distance, so you can call Jacob."

"Oh." I was slightly disappointed, but more angry at his assumption.

"I figured that no matter what you learned from your conversation with her, it would not change your decision. Your loyalty lies with Jacob _…_" he stopped, grinding his teeth before he continued "_…_ and not with her. Yet, I wonder, for Jacob's sake, will you not consider it loyalty to wait? It is not only best for everyone involved, but also for Jacob. He has endured enough—just as you have—you know this. I ask that you consider both possibilities _and_ all of their consequences, and choose wisely."

I ripped my hand from his arm and hissed. "You don't think I have? His reaction is what I worry about most! He's going to be angry and hurt no matter what—whether I keep it from him or not. And when he learns that I've kept this from him, he may very well hate me!"

We glared at each other as he circled me with me turning with him.

He pointed accusingly at me. "Now,_ that_ is just like Sarah and her little argument. Do you know how selfish you both sound?"

I snarled and slapped his hand away. "Do you know how selfish it is to presume you know what's best for someone? To keep information—that yes, is more than stunning and hurtful, but could be beneficial in the end—to yourself? Is that not also selfish? And I'm willing to bet that my withholding the information is also covering whoever's ass it is that changed her! It's someone in the Volturi, isn't it? You don't want a war on your hands—and I can understand that—but how self-serving!"

He shook his head vigorously and gritted his teeth. "You need to see the bigger picture, Isabella. You are only seeing some of it. If the Quileute attack us and we go to war, _they will die._ They are no match for the Volturi. Could you have that on your conscience?"

My stomach lurched, and I shook. _No, I couldn't._ But could I handle keeping this secret from Jake and, in the end, _maybe_, losing his friendship? And yet, Caius was right—the bigger picture. I would rather lose Jake as a friend, than have him killed.

Caius's body was suddenly flush against the front of mine, his forehead on my own and his hands cupping my neck to keep me there. "I know that I am asking _you_ to endure more, to shoulder more." His eyes darted between my own, an intensity swirling in their ruby depths. "But I believe that _you_ are stronger than he is, especially right now."

I tightly gripped his wrists. I didn't think so, but it was nice to hear, nonetheless.

We stood there, frozen in that position, both giving and taking strength. I understood that he didn't want to ask this of me, because what was painful for me was probably also for him, and vice versa. And though the decision was hard and heavy on all counts—_in every aspect and for each person involved_—the necessary choice was also the right one.

After a few moments, finally firm with my decision, I nodded.

Caius brushed his lips across mine once, and then he straightened. He reached into his pocket, took out a Bluetooth, and lifted it up between us. "Since this will be a particularly hard conversation to begin with."

Instinctively, I reached out for it. He pulled back and raised a brow. "You break it now, it would hardly serve its purpose. Do you not agree?"

I scowled. _Haughty bastard._

As he drew close to me and tucked it into my ear, I glared at him, thinking 'newborn' was a perfect term because I sure felt like one. His face didn't change, but he dripped of amused arrogance. I wanted to pummel him—and bite him.

I stilled. _No …_ I wouldn't think about biting him.

The thought reminded me of all the questions I still had about what had happened in the courtyard, and I said, "You know, there's a lot of things we need to talk about. I have a lot questions, and I need some answers."

He nodded once, his nose distractedly grazing my cheek as he took a step back. "Yes, and I still have some of my own. After your phone call, we will discuss everything."

With a shake of my head to focus and Caius trailing behind me, I walked over to a plush cream and gold settee by the window. I sat down and exhaled, trying to prepare. I soon realized I couldn't, simply saying, "Okay. I'm ready."

Caius hesitated, opening his mouth to say something but quickly snapping it shut. He gritted his teeth and blew out a sharp breath before he said, "Jacob loves you. If there is anything I am sure of, it is that he loves you. He was not entirely okay with the fact that you were changed, but he was not entirely angry, either. He would rather have you as a vampire, than lose you completely."

I closed my eyes and sighed. It was something I wanted to know and exactly what I needed to hear.

I looked up at him and whispered, "Thank you."

He shifted, appearing uncomfortable for the first time, and then he nodded. He bent toward me, pressed on the device in my ear, and said, "Call Jacob Black, home."

I flinched as I heard a digital voice repeat, "Jacob Black, home."

Caius winced and whispered, "I apologize. I forgot to warn you. And, yes, that is the lowest volume setting." He shot me an apologetic look and gestured to the dark room that Demetri had disappeared into earlier. "I will be in my room."

I nodded and spared the wide, arched doorway a cursory glance, trying not to show my interest. He disappeared into his room, its lights flickering on and the doors shutting behind him.

As the device shrilled loudly in my ear—the ringtone unfamiliar—I squeezed my hands together instead of gripping the lovely settee and looked around. It was a wide sitting room, adjoining mine and Caius's rooms, which were on opposite ends. Taking in the three sides entirely made of windows, I found it more like a large Four Seasons room, with more French doors that led out onto a deep balcony.

I tensed as I heard the call pick up on the other end, a familiar voice ringing loud and clear. "Hello?

* * *

_**Author's Note: **__*sighs* Not exactly how I planned and outlined this chapter____—_I wanted to include more scenes and answers for everyone_—_but I hope you're as happy with it as I am. You finally got one of the things you've oh, so patiently been waiting for—some Caius and Bella. Reviews are like sweet, devious distractions. Leave me a kiss, a memory, or a thought, and you'll be teased a week before the next update. Thanks for reading, everyone!  


_**References:**  
**The white, almost-translucent marble can be found at all those places mentioned—__Birla Lakshmi Narayan Temple in Jaipur, India__, and the Taj Mahal—among other places. (Links and pics on IL&W's blog. The Birla temple pic is exceptionally amazing!) _

_**Triumvirate— Originally, __a political regime dominated by three powerful, specially commissioned individuals, each appointed for specific administrative tasks apart from the regular duties and usually equal on paper; though, in reality, this is rarely the case. And, the death of one individual usually resulted in a war between the remaining two (i.e._ _Julius Caesar, Pompeius Magnus "Pompey the Great," and Marcus Crassus. Caesar eventually established his sole rule as perpetual dictator after Crassus's death and his own war with Pompey that followed.) In the late Republic, __two__ three-man political alliances are called triumvirates by modern scholars, though only for the second was the term "__triumviri"__ used at the time to evoke constitutional precedents. *coughs* The Romanians vs. the Volturi *coughs* (Wikipedia)_

_**__Separation of powers__— O__ften imprecisely used interchangeably with the __**trias politica**__ principle. The model for governance of a state was first developed in ancient Greece and came into widespread use by the Roman Republic (Roman __Republic__, not Roman Empire, or Byzantine Empire. There is a big difference as it plays into Italian and world history, thus IL&W and Twihistory.) (Wikipedia)_


	13. Omissions

_**Author's Note:**__ Merry Christmas! (Or Happy Holidays if you don't celebrate Christmas.) I probably won't post again until after New Year's, but I hope everyone has a safe, awesome one. :) As always, a huge thank you for the reviews. They mean so much to me. Many, **many** thanks to PTB, the wonderful Twimarti, and the awesome sweetishbubble. They've helped me as a writer in more ways than one. It's a great thing they do for authors and the Fandom. Be sure to check them out. Hugs for my pre-readers: xconfessedx, from Sparkly Red Pen, and Arianna-Janae, who is the sweetest of friends._

_**WARNING:**__ Horrific but necessary consumption of human blood (sorry), child death (__**extremely**__ sorry), and a load of dark angst (for this, I'm not sorry). *hides*_

* * *

"_Hymn for the Missing" by Red — "Lithium" by Evanescence — "Bittersweet" by Apocalyptica_

* * *

_Chapter 13_

**Omissions**

**ISABELLA SWAN**

I tensed as I heard the call pick up on the other end, a voice ringing loud and clear. "Hello?"

My shoulders relaxed at the familiar voice I was expecting, but I still had to swallow the lump in my throat before quietly replying, "Hi, Billy."

"Um, hello. Can I help you?"

I frowned, not used the formal tone, before I realized that he didn't know it was me because I no longer sounded like _me_. I stomped down sprouting irritation. It wasn't his fault I was changed. I gritted my teeth, trying to get a grip before I sighed. "Uh, Billy _…_ it's Bella."

I heard the air whoosh out of him, followed by a relieved sigh of my name. Abruptly, sounding farther away from the phone, he yelled, "Paul, get Jake!"

I gingerly picked at the bottom of my silk shirt, suddenly nervous, but then, at hearing the familiar thud of the screen door, a smile tugged at the corner of my lips. I could practically picture the chipped red paint falling off the door and speckling the front stoop.

When Billy returned to the phone, he was suddenly distraught. "Bella! Bella? Are you there?"

I cleared my throat. "Yeah."

"Are you _…_ are you all right?"

I knew what he was trying to ask, even though there was no question I was now a vampire. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm _…_" I hesitated "_…_ I'm all right." _I'm … alive._

There was another smack from the door hitting the jamb before I heard, "Bella?"

I grinned, knowing exactly what the new person on the other end did. "That was rude of you, Paul."

He waved it off, and probably with a hand gesture. "I won't have long before Jake comes storming in, and Billy knows we all want to hear from you. Though, you don't really sound like you."

I growled. "I know."

He laughed in that awful, superficial, and condescending way of his. "Ooh, Bambi can actually growl now." He paused, abruptly serious. "So, I take it you don't like it?"

I smiled fondly. This was the Paul I liked and was privileged to see every once in a while.

"I don't know. I kind of gave up on the whole idea a while ago, you know?"

"Yeah _…_ Thank fuck. Look, I can hear Jake closing in. I just wanted to tell you that I'm trying to be one of those who visit you first. Remember what we always said to each other, 'Nothing's gonna change—'"

"'So get the fuck over it,'" I finished automatically. I smiled and shook my head, recalling the day I had first said that to him. I had been so tired of hearing him complain about being a wolf that I had just snapped, and on one of my more pitiful days, he had snapped the words right back. From then on, they became a mantra between the two of us. Paul wouldn't put up with my self-pity and self-deprecating, just like I wouldn't put up with his, forming an odd and unlikely friendship. He had helped me in ways no else could—not even Jake. "You know, I miss yo—"

He interrupted. "Yeah, yeah. Just be ready. We'll be doing some rage therapy when I get there. You probably need it."

I rolled my eyes, but laughed. _He had no idea._

But then again, he did. A sudden image of Paul and me fighting swooped in, causing a whirlwind of memories to flutter up. Paul's therapy had consisted of "fighting and fucking" —his words, not mine. He knew I didn't do the latter, so I had stuck to kickboxing, and usually only with him. Paul, in that uncanny way of his, had been the best at riling me up, getting me to ex_pound_ and release everything I was feeling. He made me realize and accept how I truly felt about some things. One was being out of control—more specifically, not having control. It was something we both had in common, especially now. I was turned into something I wasn't exactly happy with, similar to him when he had first shifted.

"Wait," he said, backtracking. "You're not fucking him already, are you?"

"Paul!"

"Well?"

"No! Of course not!"

He grunted. "Good. Now, here's Jake."

I shook my head. I knew he cared, yet he had no tact whatsoever. Belatedly, I realized he knew about Caius. Before I could ask how he knew about the platinum blond, I heard rustling and the phone being dropped. I smiled, thinking of Jake fumbling before I heard him scream, "Bella!"

My face fell. My chest constricted as my stomach dropped. I missed him. I really, _really_ missed him. Even if he couldn't be here, simply hearing his voice soothed and warmed me. But, I was also _terrified_. I was now his supposed enemy and his best friend, and I didn't know where that left us. It scared me to think that this phone call was the beginning of strengthening of what used to be an unshakable foundation, and here I was, keeping a profound secret from him.

I blinked, expecting tears but having none. I didn't know what to say and if I was making the right choice by not telling him.

"Bells?"

His voice was soft and hesitant, and I realized he was just as scared as I was.

Finally, I took a breath and exhaled. "Jake _…_"

"_Oh, Bella." _

I shook. I could practically see and _feel_ him grabbing and embracing me. I gripped the edge of the settee, hearing it crack beneath my hands, and I cracked along with it. "Jake. Oh, God, Jake. I'm sorry. I'm _so_, so sorry."

I didn't—_couldn't_—say anymore than that, but I never had to. Jake would know; he would understand. I was sorry for everything—for suggesting we cliff-dive that day, for leading Victoria straight to the Rez, for the circumstances we now found ourselves in, for Sam.

_For not telling you about your mother …  
_

"I know, Bells." He sighed. "I am, too."

The last statement was quiet, but I heard the underlying self-blame. I shot up and growled. "You have nothing to be sorry for. It's not your fault! _Do you hear me_? You didn't know. You _couldn't_ have known! She was underwater, dammit! So do not—I fucking repeat—_do not_ blame yourself."

I paced, fuming as I thought about how typical it was of Jake. He would hold everything that happened—Sam's death, my capture—upon himself. In his eyes, if he had done what he was born to do earlier—if he had been the Alpha and protected the _entire_ tribe by killing _all_ vampires—none of this would have happened. And he always wanted to protect me, even when it wasn't possible.

A snapshot of Edward swept up from the recesses of my mind, disturbing the calm space, and a snarl escaped me. Yes, Jacob would always blame not just them but himself. Under that sunny, jovial exterior, he was as bad as I was at self-deprecating bullshit.

He exhaled loudly. "All right. All right."

I knew he was nodding, trying to believe it and convince himself he wasn't to blame, but like me, he would need time to accept it and move on.

"So _…_" he started, sounding uncomfortable.

I hated it. It wasn't him. Or us.

"How's everything there in Italy?" he asked, tone false and upbeat. "Are those Italians treating you all right?"

I huffed. "Jake."

"I know, I know. I can't help it. This is a little awkward." He paused, taking a deep breath. "Okay, let me start over."

Then, in the same happy tone as before, he said, "Hey, best friend! How is it, bein' a bloodsucker?"

I scoffed, but then laughed. "You are such an ass."

He chuckled. "Yeah. I got you to laugh, though. That's what counts. And I bet you're finally smiling."

I nodded. I was, and it felt good. _Normal._

"In all seriousness, though, how are you doing? Have you _…_ have you fed yet?"

I blew out a sharp breath. I was expecting the question, just not so soon.

"I'm _…_ fine, considering I didn't know any better. The Cullens never really explained, and I thought _…_ I thought it would be different." I grabbed my scalp. "My head—_my brain_—is in overdrive. There's so many senses taking over and so much to process. It's disquieting, almost to the point that my head hurts. It's like I'm being ripped in two. I don't know how to feel, what to think. I _…_"

"What?" he prompted. "You, what?"

"I feel _…_" I took in my unblemished ivory hands in my lap, the perfect clothes, my rigid posture, the unfamiliar presence inside of me, alert and simmering. I rubbed my chest, now without my heart beating beneath, as I tried to find the words that could explain.

"Bells?"

I hesitated, not knowing if I should say it and how he would take it. But this was Jake, my best friend, and if I couldn't tell him, to whom could I?

I sighed. "I feel _…_ different. Like some fundamental part of me changed, and I can't get it back. It makes me think of how the pack described what they felt after that first shift—that the essence of_ you_ shifted. I never really understood before—I'm surprised I even remember it—but I do, and I understand now. I know it's not what you want to hear, that it sounds horrible, especially in this situation. But it's the truth, and there's no other way I can explain it."

I waited.

And was met with only silence.

Closing my eyes, I bit my lip and heard it crack. _I had said too much._

Hearing a resonating click resound in the silent room, I looked up. The long hand of the clock marked that it was now 9:16. The ticking of seconds, loud and ominous in the otherwise still room, _scored_. I stared. I swore the ticks were getting slower and farther apart as I watched. I could imagine the battery failing, _dying_. At 9:20, I couldn't take it any longer. "Jake, _please_. Say _something_."

"I _…_ uh _…_" He swallowed. "I understand."

"Do you?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "Like you said, I know that shift. Things became more important, more _…_ meaningful."

Yes, food, survival, _safety_ became more important. _Life_ was so much more meaningful that it was poignant. But, that hadn't exactly changed from before. It was simply more profound—the things that mattered _and_ the situation. There was something about me as person that had turned and been _…_ _remade_, and it seemed we weren't going to acknowledge it.

I wanted to ask if he was angry, but I knew that wasn't the right emotion. It was _more_. More wounding, more along the lines of guilt and regret. It weighed heavily, and it simply wasn't regret for the circumstances, but of the not knowing if you truly wanted things to go back. A piece of me had been altered and then had been replaced with something just as vital, and I couldn't _wholeheartedly_ wish that it wasn't the case. I would miss it, just as I now missed that piece of humanity I had lost.

I never realized how something so seemingly insignificant could matter, that it could be what made you, _you_. I wanted to ask if the fact that I was different mattered to him.

But I knew. _Of course, it did._

"Hey," he said, interrupting my thoughts. "We'll figure something out. I know you haven't changed completely—none of us did. It's _…_ it's just going to take some time getting used to, you know?"

I nodded. "Sure, sure."

_But I wasn't sure._

He laughed, yet it sounded sad. "See? Not everything's changed."

Feeling anxiety, but not only my own, I looked at the closed door with the light shining beneath it.

_Caius._

He was speaking with someone in yet another language, and although I wondered what he was saying and what was happening, he made me think of someone … along with the loss.

I swallowed, trying to stop the clenching in my stomach before I asked, "How's Emily?"

"She's _…_ she's at a loss—with herself, with the house _…_ with the baby."

I gritted my teeth to stop myself from crying out and looked at the ceiling. It was a stupid question and, again, I had known the answer, but it didn't stop me from asking, nor the despair from piercing me with the confirmation of both her and the baby. She had suspected days before I was captured, and it had been her joy and anticipation that prompted me to reflect on the future I wanted—the one I couldn't miss and had decided upon at those cliffs.

Resentment lashed at me, forcing me to stalk around the room as I tried to squelch pain and the desire to destroy something. _Everything_. She hadn't even gotten the chance to tell him! He wouldn't be there. The pack's first baby and the pack's first death. The unfairness, the cruel reality. Along with the stronger and overwhelming emotions, the changes, the differences, that miniscule space in time, the secret that wasn't supposed to be mine—it was all too much for me to handle.

Rage, so sinister in its dark, burning depths, rose and latched around my body. I recognized the sensation surrounding me. It had happened before when I had first found out about Sam. Yet this time, instead of feeling a release, I felt confined. I rapidly strode from one end of the room to the other, trying to shake it off, but it wouldn't let go. It merely fueled me, grating and taunting me to do something about the circumstances as it grew deeper, thicker—more _menacing_.

The room vibrated, its embellishments rattling atop smooth surfaces. The furniture quavered in a frenzied panic. The horrid clock clattered against the walls' answering groans, mocking in its higher pitch.

I seethed, a growl erupting.

"Bells?"

I snarled, startled—but more than anything—furious and ashamed. I had forgotten so easily that he was there, and my uncontrollable behavior wasn't helping his opinion of the new me, nor of the _…_ _race_ I now found myself a part of. Reaching up, I ripped the Bluetooth from my ear, only to crush it easily. Staring at my hand, I watched the pieces fall from my fingertips, finding the movement oddly similar. It echoed what happened—_what was happening_. Life, chance, choice slipped between fingers and disintegrated to dust. My relationship with Jake—once strong and whole—was just as deeply fragile, and the phone call proved as much.

I eyed the room, its stillness glaring in such a way that it was wrong.

I roared, trying to displace the transcendent air. It was a response—the room's, the world's, mine. Everything was wrong! Not balanced. Not right. Not even merely askew, but _…_ _wrong_.

Slowly turning and taking in the room, my mouth dropped open. A sudden, slow feel of descent washed over me. It was death—the creeping sensation and the realization that came with it—and it was neither peaceful nor becoming. A piece of me was dying. My friendship with Jake, my only connection to the life I had … The human part of me _…_

With a loathing I never thought capable of me, I _hated_ it. The room, the world. Myself. Nothing was as it should be. There shouldn't be tranquility, because the world was anything but. I had to get away. I had to escape, _flee_. I ran towards the balcony, its doors slamming open before I reached them—courtesy of my gift.

And I hated it, too, as unknown and uncontrollable as it was.

I passed the threshold and stopped, closing my eyes and tilting my face up. The sound and the raging winds of the storm comforted me like a friend who understood and was going through what I was. The rain pelting my face and body matched the sensation of my soul being punctured. It was fitting, and that soothed and touched me. Outside—out of that perfect room—I felt _…_ _at home_. Even the smell enveloping me—clean, fresh, and salty in its velvetiness—was like Forks.

I soaked it all in, becoming drenched in the emotion, touch, and smell. I savored it—the peace found within the tumultuous storm. I couldn't turn back time, but I sure wished that I could pause it. Just for a moment to have everything stop.

I hissed, my head snapping in Caius's direction. He had been standing on the balcony as well, watching me in silence. Like always, I _felt_ him—could still feel him. But now, he was slowly walking toward me with an inscrutable expression on his face. I feasted upon his otherworldly beauty, so golden yet dark with his black clothes. His suit, ruined from the rain, was unbuttoned, and I could see his shirt cling to every ridge and contour of hard muscle. I swallowed before my eyes narrowed on his hand slipping his phone into his pocket.

He raised his hands and continued cautiously toward me.

I backed away, inching further out onto the balcony, away from him, from the door, even though the very center of me pulled in his direction.

He stopped, his own eyes narrowing. "Isabella."

Desire flared at the sound of my name upon his lips, and I snarled, squelching it.

He took in my stance, it crouched and defensive, before he stared at me and searched my eyes.

I stared right back, trying to figure out what he was thinking and what he would say. I knew he had heard my conversation with Jake, and I didn't want him to tell me that everything would be okay. I knew it wouldn't be. I didn't want him to say that I did the right thing, either, because it sure as hell didn't feel like it.

I wanted to ask him if he was satisfied. I hadn't said a word about Sarah, not that I had the time, control, or desire to do so. But I wouldn't have had the chance anyway, I suddenly realized. If I had changed my mind and tried to tell Jake, Caius would have stopped me.

I shook my head at him, disappointed and furious. I had always trusted people too easily.

His hands balled into fists at his sides before he looked away, his lips forming a grim line and the tick in his jaw protruding with each clench of his teeth. Eyes darting, he searched the dark horizon. For what, I had no clue, but I wasn't about to find out. Yet, before I could take another step back and just _run_, his soft murmur stopped me.

"Forgive me."

"What?"

He met my gaze, and even though his face was hard, his eyes were sad. "I said, forgive me."

Although apologies were expected at a moment like this—when someone was caught deceiving, not exactly lying but omitting—his tone was nearly pleading. The sincerity was there, in his voice, his eyes, his emotions. Compassion and regret radiated from him. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to ignore the piece of me that softened. "Are you asking? Or are you demanding?"

His lips twitched before he frowned and glared. Seemingly cold, he eyed me and took a slow, gliding step. "Both?"

I snorted, but tried to hide a smile myself. Pushing my hair out of my face, I studied him. His presence alone had a more comforting effect than the storm. I didn't truly know him, but he was here, and he was the balm to my soul.

"You are right to be angry. I am, too."

"Oh, really? Why are _you_ angry?" I didn't see how he had a reason to be.

His eyes hardened. "Sarah. She rarely listens. I did not want her revealing herself so early. She should have known better. It was careless of her to come and see you after you had just awoken, but she was simply too excited to see you—someone she knew from her human life and the best friend of her son, no less. Plus, she has no patience."

Why did I have the feeling that that statement was like the pot calling the kettle black?

I shook off the thought. "So, what? You wanted to hide her from me, too?"

Taking one more step, he closed the distance between us and sighed. "Yes."

I looked down and shook my head. I hated being kept in the dark, and even though I could appreciate his honesty, it stung that he would have. But I had to admit that a part of me also wished I didn't know about her, that I didn't have to carry the weight of guilt, knowing she was alive and keeping it from my best friend.

I watched Caius's hands reach out before he pulled them back. God, I knew how he felt. We were both angry, but a part of us wouldn't let us be entirely. The mated side of us needed and wanted the contact, the comfort. I itched to touch him and to have him touching me, yet we hardly knew how to go about doing it and how the other would react. We were simply too new and unfamiliar with each other. It was awkward and maddening, but in a way, reassuring as well; I wasn't the only awkward one.

He shifted and then sighed before reaching out again and gently pulling me against him. Placing my hands on his waist, I leaned my forehead against his chest and breathed him in. My shoulders relaxed, and I felt Caius's face on the top my head, his nose in my hair, breathing me in deeply. I shuddered as he exhaled, a tingle rippling down my spine. His thumb rubbed my lower back.

"I called Jacob after the phone call disconnected." His voice was quiet and muffled in my hair. "I told him you would call him later."

I squeezed him and said, "Thank you." Even though I didn't know when later would be and if I'd be ready.

"He understands."

I shook my head. _No, he didn't. _And if he did, it wasn't in a good way.

Caius squeezed me. "_He does._"

I sighed. I wanted to believe that, but I just _couldn't_.

"Jacob is surprisingly reasonable. He was with your change. Do not doubt him now."

A sob escaped me. I didn't doubt Jake. He was so inherently _good_. When it was between life and death, Jake would always choose life. With him, it was about righteousness, and that was what scared me the most. There was nothing right about him not being told about his mother. Lies—_omissions_—only prolonged the inevitable. The truth would come out eventually, and he might very well hate me when it did.

"I want to know who changed her." The statement slipped from my lips before I could stop it. I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to know, but I felt I needed to. I might be able to convince the person to speak to the others and tell Jake.

When Caius didn't answer, I looked up.

It must have been what was he was waiting for because his gaze didn't falter from mine as he answered, "I did."

I froze.

My heart sank.

I searched his face to see if he was joking or lying, maybe covering for the person who had, but his face was neither deceptive nor remorseful as he met my probing gaze head-on. He seemed almost _…_ _proud_ in his unflinching and resolute demeanor, his chin raised and face expressionless, eyes unfeeling, unblinking. It almost seemed like he was waiting, _challenging_ me to react, and I did. I couldn't help it.

I ripped away from him and hissed. "You! You changed her?"

"Taha Aki, her husband, is my best friend. I was there with him, 13 years ago in Washington, when he found and imprinted on her at the crash scene. She was_ dying_. He asked me to change her." He raised his chin even higher. "So I did. For my friend, who has suffered enough loss, I did. She was the first _and only _other person I have changed."

I leaned forward, my mind sharpening as it focused on the term. "Did you say, '_imprinted_?'"

Caius ground his teeth, probably realizing his slip, before he answered, "Yes. Taha Aki is Quileute. He was the first Spirit Man to change into a physical wolf. Maybe you remember their legends. They call him the Great Wolf."

I dimly recalled the legends, only remembering the third wife and the first encounter with the Cullens, how Jake told me of them at First Beach. There was another memory, albeit a fuzzy one, but it was abruptly pushed aside as a sudden thought struck me.

"Where is he? Taha Aki. Where is he?"

Caius's face hardened. "Washington."

My chest rumbled with simmering disbelief. _No …_ _He didn't mean …?_

Coldly, he nodded and specified, affirming. "On the reservation … training the new Alpha."

My stomach lurched. I groped for the ledge behind me and shook my head. "You _bastards_."

Caius stepped toward me.

I raised my hands and shook my head, not wanting him to touch me.

I couldn't even imagine how Jacob would feel when he finally found out. First, his alive, _human-blood_-drinking mother, and then the man—_an ancestor_ who had probably already gained his trust and admiration, but who was also his supposedly dead mother's wolf _…_ Talk about deception and omissions. And what about Billy? How he must feel, seeing that man every day and watching him work with his son _…_

Caius took another step toward me, his expression severe but hands extended toward me as he tried to speak.

My fingers splayed widely and shook as I begged without words for him to stop. I could barely stand to look at him, let alone have him near me, talking to me, distracting me. What they had done, what they were doing, allowing _…_ it was cruel and selfish and cowardly. The whole lot of them were.

_Just like me. _

The thought was a whisper in my mind, but the truth was a punch to the gut. Bile rose at the back of my throat, and I covered my mouth. _I had agreed not to say anything._ Even though I had known better—or not, as the case may be since I didn't have all the facts at the time—I had agreed. My intentions were good, yes, but they mattered little. I looked down and stared blankly at the ground, trying to figure out how we could rectify the mess they had made, how I would tell Jake and as soon as possible.

_But it shouldn't be me!_ I wanted to yell. Jake needed to hear this from the people involved—from those he cared about most, and it would be a way for them to redeem themselves. It would make it easier for Jake to forgive them.

"Jacob is young. He _and_ the pack need all the help they can get after losing Sam."

"Oh, don't give me that shit! You think that'll matter when Jake finds out? Because I'm telling you right now, it won't." I gripped the sides of my head, totally at a loss on what to do, before I snarled and pointed a finger at him. "And you! You didn't tell me earlier! I mentioned it. I knew it had to be someone here. I just _…_"

_Didn't think it'd be you._

I stared at him, pained. I had wanted to trust him; an irrational part of me had and still did.

Hatred burned and coursed through my body. I had no control whatsoever. My body, my emotions, and reactions—none of it was mine to command. I had no choice on if I was mated and to whom, or even how I felt about him. I knew next to nothing about the man in front of me—what he had done, who he really was—yet, I was inextricably bound and drawn to him.

_I cared for him_, I suddenly realized. In a brief amount of time, I actually cared about him. _Deeply_. It was what made everything frustrating, but more than that, it made his actions affect me all the more.

The previous black chasm of soul-wracking pain, fury, resentment, loneliness, hope- and helplessness whirled around and within me, closing in and threatening to swallow me whole. Like before, I could do nothing to stop it. My hands clenched at my sides. _I didn't want to._

I slowly raised my head, my gaze connecting with Caius's. _I had to get out of here._

His eyes flashed before he snarled and shot toward me.

I turned and jumped atop the stone banister. I didn't hesitate to launch myself into the plummeting, murky black. I wanted to escape. I needed to.

Spinning end over end, I watched specks of light zip across my vision and the ground blink closer with each turn. The wind roared in my ears as it pulled at my clothes. I gritted my teeth, concentrating on getting upright. In an instant—with just the thought—I was.

I smiled, and I was dimly aware of its sinister edge, but I didn't care. I felt triumphant, something inside of me growling in approval. As I saw the ground raise up closer and closer, I knew I wanted to conquer it, as well, to somehow ruin and beat the earth, the forces-that-be with my supremacy. The feeling was heady, intoxicating, an adrenaline rush for my kind.

A familiar hum coursed from the base of my brain to the pit of stomach, flooding my body with strength and power. Rain and wind ceased to beat against my skin. The air shimmered with mist and energy, invisible but detectable as rain streaked across the surface.

_My shield._

Instead of hating it, I reveled in its destructive quality. Focusing on it, I pushed out from the center of me and felt it expand. As the ground zoomed up to meet my feet, I braced for impact and growled. A deafening blast rumbled through the air. The ground shattered around me, soil exploding up and outward as I landed on a knee and fist and drove _down_.

I stopped and stared. My fist was entrenched in the wet clay of the earth as I balanced on the balls of my feet. I listened to the dirt settle and the patter of rain upon the earth. It was peaceful, soothing. The part of me that I had restrained and buried resolved and reconciled with what I had become. I no longer felt at war with myself and that _animal_ simmering just beneath the surface and always whispering in my ear. Crouched as I was, I surrendered to it, meeting it head on before embracing it.

I looked up, finding myself in a twenty-foot hole. A breathy, triumphant growl escaped my lips. I savored the feel of destruction and essence of freedom. Satisfying—the sensation, the thought.

It didn't last.

Rocks began to fall from the edge above, and I knew exactly what—who it was.

_Caius._ He hadn't jumped after me, but he was following me down.

I ran and bound from one side of the earth to the other, swiftly reaching the top. As I swung over the edge, I noted the crater I had created before spotting Caius swinging alongside the cliff. His platinum hair glowed like a beacon against the dark wall of stone, and I couldn't help but appreciate how magnificent he looked, so lithe and sure with each graceful movement. He was predatory, feral as he spun around, his back against the face of the cliff. His pale hair blew back wildly behind his broad shoulders, revealing the snarl upon his perfect lips and the fire in his eyes.

God, even pissed he was gorgeous.

And I wanted him. The instinctive, primal side of me _needed_ him, called for him.

With a growl, he kicked back, away from the cliff, and landed not twenty feet from me. His eyes blazed brightly, fiercely. Even as angry as he was, satisfaction, pride, and desire oozed from him. He wanted to catch me, take me, contain and consume me.

I wanted it, too.

His hands, strong and capable on my bare marble skin, exploring, holding, straining, not just our exposed chests pressed together like before. I wanted hips to hips, flesh to aching flesh, pounding; our legs entwined with hands gripping, nails scoring as he drove into me, hard and uncontrolled; to hear our growls surround us, from pleasure and want.

I craved—it, him, me—_raw_.

Heat seared down the front me, making my nipples hard and the apex at my thighs ache. Caius's pupils dilated, engulfing the crimson completely as his chest rumbled. He knew what I was thinking, what I wanted. He would give it to me, too.

But I wasn't going to let it him. I wasn't going to give in.

I bolted.

I also wanted to keep what freedom I could, and I knew that surrendering to him would only bind us tighter together. I wasn't ready, and I was still angry with him. At the thought of what he had done, I snarled and heard his echo behind me.

I pushed my legs to go faster, my newborn strength making it easy to outrun him. Power surged throughout my body, and the familiar shroud of invisibility veiled my vision, making me feel safe as it ballooned around me. Fallen leaves whirled and zoomed past and around my shield, yet I could still see the details in each, so vividly sharp and beautiful in their crisp oranges and glossy yellows, crinkled and torn. Even the deadened deep brown ones were lovely.

Briefly, an image of a russet wolf's head pitched forward and bobbing as we sprinted through the woods came to mind. I thought of Jacob and how different running on my own was compared to riding on his back, how I didn't have to depend on him. I was using _my_ own two legs and supernatural speed. The very notion combined with the power, the speed, and without the need for breath or the weakness of getting tired was an adrenaline rush all on its own.

I laughed. Running through the forest was exhilarating.

It was freeing.

It was natural.

I broke through the edge of a forest just as beaming lights seared the night. I halted—_froze_ on the spot, my senses instantly alarmed and alert as headlights illuminated me completely.

Paralyzed, I watched the silver SUV—not ten feet from me on the dark yet shiny, rain-battered pavement—swerve, its driver and passenger's eyes wide and panicked, their bodies tense and braced, mouths gaping as screams belted from them. Its back end clipped my side, jolting my mind but barely moving my body. I blinked, before my head snapped in the direction of metal connecting with wood. The sound of crushing aluminum, splintering wood, and blood-curdling screams ripped through the air, disrupting and disturbing the night.

Then the previous peaceful silence swiftly returned, and all was still. Afraid but worried and curious, I inched toward the hissing of an engine, smoke wafting from the hood. I found the stillness and the tinkling of rain odd after such clamor. I stopped and my brow furrowed. Leaning forward, I zoned in on another sound: accelerated, uneven pounding—a whooshing of double-timed thumps and pumps.

My nostrils flared, a scent so luscious hitting me and making my mouth water.

Later, I would wish that I could say I hadn't been thinking, but I had been. I would replay the events of the night repeatedly and wonder if they could have been prevented, or if there would have been a different ending. But I had known the answer, which was ironic because the answer would be the same reply I had for Caius when I learned the story behind his action tonight, and the same reply I would give Jake when he asked, during what would be one of our last conversations: if I could change anything in the past, would I?

_No, probably not._

With a single purpose and hungry-driven thought, I ripped off the door and yanked out the driver. I didn't even look at the man before I sank my teeth into his neck. The delicate human flesh broke easily. Blood so pure and rich ruptured from the wound and gushed under my mouth. I swallowed greedily, moaning at the creamy taste and the way it coated my tongue, my throat. _So warm, so succulent …_

My eyes flashed open as Caius broke through the trees. I pulled back and hissed.

_Mine._

He stopped and raised his hands. With his eyes on mine, he cautiously edged toward the other side of the car. Intently, I regarded him, ensuring he wouldn't encroach too close and take what was mine. He opened the other door and plucked out the woman with the weak pulse, a barely-there murmur in her veins. Certain that he wasn't going to stop me but still eyeing every movement he made, I lowered my head to continue my meal, which was growing cold.

Not partaking himself, Caius strictly watched as I gorged myself. I wanted to question him; he was letting her go to waste. I wanted to groan, my fingers squeezing fragile sinew and making the blood rush and fill my mouth. I wanted to rip the woman from his arms and have her after I had this one.

But none of that happened. Instead, a small whimper floated to my ears—and it wasn't from me.

With a roar, Caius twisted the woman's neck, tossed her aside, and wrenched the car away from me just as my eyes connected on the small, frightened ones in the backseat.

Before I could think, react—_pounce_—Caius threw the car down the street and dashed after it. I followed instinctively, angrily, my mouth pooling with venom, my mind frenzied, befuddled, screaming.

_I wanted a taste. It was mine. How dare h__e.__ I was willing to share, but how dare h__e!_

The silver SUV landed and bounced in place as he tore off the rear door. With his back blocking my view, I didn't see it, but I sure heard it.

A cry before a yelp and a sickening crack.

Unlike with the woman, the sound made me flinch to a stop before bringing me to my knees. My hands slapped forward against the wet pavement as the rust-colored spell I was under lifted, and for one second, the sound echoed in my head and a myriad of images swooped in and flashed across my vision: the cabin, a girl the same age as the one in the backseat, faces of evil and disgusting enjoyment. The images swiftly faded to black with the shocking crack of bone.

My mind went startlingly blank. Silent. Calm.

It was at that moment, I comprehended I felt nothing. Just a cold apathy remained. And it was at _that_ instant, I also realized I didn't like the fact. I would rather care too much and feel revulsion than nothing but indifference. So I searched for it. Within the depths of my soul, I searched for some glimmer of emotion. I was barely aware of Caius moving around me, him shuffling and running, while I sought for something good, something humane—something _human_.

_There._ A girl, human and bland with ordinary brown hair and dull brown eyes, hid in a corner. Deep in the shadowed crevices of my mind and soul, she hugged her bent legs as she rocked back and forth. She was so very vulnerable; she made me ache just to look upon her. But that was it. It was just a twinge of pain, nothing more than a sting of a paper cut, but with devastating results—an emptiness that hardened the heart and plagued the soul.

With a harsh grating noise trailing behind him, Caius came over to me, grasped my arm, and hauled me up, his other hand gripping under the front end of the SUV.

"Move it. We need to get you away before another vehicle comes along." Without a care, he dragged me alongside him and towed the SUV behind us as we trudged through the forest. "Demetri will be here shortly with a few others to clean up the mess you've made." His hand clenched tightly around my arm. "I hope you enjoyed that for the both of us, since I will not have a feeding for a while on your behalf."

I had no idea what he was talking about, and I really didn't care at the moment. I didn't enjoy it—not anymore, not with the bitter aftertaste of guilt in my mouth. I wrapped my free arm around my body, trying to hold on to the emotion, not wanting to let it go and slip away. Caius kept talking, his accent growing more pronounced because of his anger, but I paid him no attention. Instead, I stared ahead and focused on the ache centered on my chest, it slowly being crushed by the emotion seeping in.

Stopping, Caius shook me roughly. "Isabella."

Dazed, I looked up and met his glare, which abruptly softened.

He dropped the car, released my arm, and slowly reached up. His hands cradled my face, before his thumbs began to gently swipe under my eyes and over my cheeks. I wasn't crying—I wasn't able to any longer. It was merely pouring rain. Yet the thought, the image was there. Drenched from head to toe, hair plastered down with clothes sopping, our faces glistened, rivers of rain streaking down and drops gathering on the wet eyelashes that lined sorrow-filled eyes.

_So beautiful_ … him, the illusion, the care behind the action and beneath the regret. It was wistful—the longing, the touch, the idea.

To be able to cry would be _…_ heartbreakingly wonderful. And to have someone wipe those tears _…_ more so.

I hadn't realized that I had closed my eyes until Caius softly brushed his lips against the lids of them. It _felt_ amazing—the momentary spread of warmth. I gripped his wrists, wanting to feel more, more than abysmal emptiness, a pang of pain, or illusive nostalgia. His nose grazing mine caused another burst of tender heat, and I pressed myself closer to him, seeking whatever he could and would give me.

When he didn't move, I lifted my lids and sucked in a sharp breath. I was met with a stormy bottomless sea of garnet, swells of directionless waves, anxious, scared, and angry. And it was there that I saw myself. Reflected back at me in the eyes of a man who chose to feel more than nothing at all was … me. Lost, unanchored me.

Then in the midst of it all, in the blink of an eye, there he was. Under the surface I saw him—lost, unanchored, and vulnerable, but fighting, searching. Whether he intended it or not, Caius just bore his soul to me with his eyes. His destitution—years of it—matched my own, but beneath all the bitterness and hate, I saw a flicker of light, one he had tried to snuff out and bury.

It was hope, a glimmer of hope. Maybe even _for_ hope.

I wanted the same.

Pushing up onto tips of my toes and pulling myself up by my grip on his wrists, I crashed my mouth on his. I felt him stiffen before he returned the kiss. I quickly deepened it, trying to draw out some kind of emotion in myself, to find and _feel_ that burning light I knew we shared. A spark of desire shot through my body as his tongue met and stroked my own, but it wasn't enough. The excitement was momentary, fleeting. He embraced and _squeezed_ me to him, lifting me up before turning us and slamming me up against the side of the car. Another jolt pulsed.

It was with a sad, possessed desperation that waterlogged clothing was swiftly peeled off, layer by layer. Sweaters were pushed back from shoulders, shirts pulled up and then over our heads. Slacks were tugged down. My underwear was ripped off, followed by his. He pulled away, and an ache stung briefly. He dropped to a knee and lifted up my leg. I placed my hand on his shoulder, my other on his head, not to steady myself but to keep some kind of connection with him through touch. My head fell back as he slipped the sock from my foot while kissing, _tasting_ the skin of my shin, the inside of my knee, the flesh of my thigh. A thrum began.

He dropped that leg and my head snapped forward. I watched him repeat the motions on my other leg, but instead of stopping mid-thigh like he had before, his tongue peeked out and trailed up the front of it, gathering the taste of me and rain on his tongue. He paused on the outside of my hip, where he gently nuzzled it with his nose before leaving one soft, open-mouthed kiss. A flame rekindled, and I squeezed his shoulder.

_He remembered, and he ached for me. _

Meeting and holding my gaze, he stood, and although his eyes were black from anger and desire, there was tenderness in the way he pushed back the soaked tendrils of hair from my face. I studied his expression as his gaze followed his hand smoothing down the front me, the backs of his fingers gliding the side of my neck, over my collarbone, and between my breasts. His anger dissipated, his desire flared, and devotion radiated from him. My body ignited.

He kissed me then, with that passion I had found painfully alluring, and while he gripped my waist, he lifted me. I tried to wrap my legs around his waist, but pulling his hips back, he pressed his chest against mine before he hooked his arm under my leg and then did the same with the other, my knees settling at the crooks of his elbows. With his hands braced against the car, he raised me, my back sliding up against the window of the vehicle while his mouth moved from mine to my neck. He sucked the new mark. Pride flared. I moaned and clutched his head, trying to keep him there as I ground into his pelvis, feeling him below my ass. I wanted—_needed_—more.

But he lifted me away, _higher_. My body curved back, following the contours of rain-slick metal before resting atop the roof of the car, and all the while, his mouth skimmed down my body, only stopping to swirl his tongue around my nipple before engulfing it completely and pulling away, tugging with soft enclosed lips and a light drag of the teeth. He continued shifting me up as he moved down my stomach, his tongue flicking into my bellybutton and making me writhe. I reached down and grasped his wrists, his hands now planted on the roof of the car and under my ass. Terror flared. Insecurity lashed.

_I've never … _

"Isabella."

I squeezed his wrists in response.

"Look at me."

It was a murmured request, almost a plea. I raised my head and looked down, meeting his dark stare. His mouth hovered right above where I wanted him but was also too uncomfortable and inexperienced to have done to me. Indecision joined my fear. I felt exposed, not only physically but emotionally, as well. He hummed and then shifted, his face turning so that his nose brushed up my inner thigh just as I felt his thumb slowly graze up and then down my slit, over and then over, achingly slow and sinking deeper with each pass. Within, his thumb circled before gently pressing down and pulling out. My head dropped back and a guttural moan rumbled in my chest and the back of my throat. Brief embarrassment bloomed at the sound, but it left quickly as I heard him deeply inhale before giving me growl.

His hands curled from under my legs and latched onto the top of my thighs, pulling me toward him as he took one long, drawn-out lick. My back arched and a lusty growl escaped my parted lips. With my fingers digging into metal, I writhed as he devoured me, his tongue circling, plunging, flicking, lapping, his mouth gently sucking and pulling or his nose rubbing on a spot that made me burn—him only allowing me to enjoy whatever he was doing for a moment before he started something new. My hands grabbed his head, gripping those now golden-pearl locks glistening and brushing against my sensitive thighs, and my heels dug into his upper back. I pulled myself closer to him, my legs widening, before I rubbed against his face already shoved between my thighs.

He growled.

"_Please."_ My voice shook so badly that the word was nothing more than a broken whisper. The howl of the wind, and the thunder rumbling in my ears, along with the onslaught of rain on my body and what Caius was doing to me set my heightened senses on overdrive. Worse was the fire—that light—within. It was _burning_ me in pleasure and pain. It was the utmost desire, unfulfilled, my body and soul both telling me without mercy what I already knew. I needed more. I had to have him, feel him, _all of him._ With my hands clenching his hair, I whimpered louder. _"Please."_

He was so swift and graceful, I was barely aware of us moving on the roof of the car, him sitting back on his haunches with me straddling him, before I screamed, feeling and hearing me tear.

Caius froze.

And there it was. My own personal omission. Even though I was sure that most thought otherwise, I was violated in only _one_ of the worst ways possible. Not that it mattered, but …

I trembled, burying my face in Caius's neck as an image of a chair leg slithered into my mind. It wasn't for pleasure that they had hurt me that way. Those types of atrocious acts rarely were—if ever. They wanted to lord their power over me and with _one_ act that had ultimate agony, debasement, and shame as the result, while slowly killing my spirit and any hope if I were to survive.

I squeezed Caius, an odd keening sound erupting from me as Victoria's words running in my head. _You bitch. Edward won't want you now. No one will. _

God, I had known she was wrong on all counts when she had said those words to me. It wasn't that Edward wouldn't want me—he already hadn't—it was that I hadn't known if I wanted him any longer if he did, and I had known it wasn't true that no one would want me because of what I had experienced. I knew it simply made everything—trusting, telling, and being with someone—that much harder. Yet, even though I knew all this, it didn't always feel that way.

I felt Caius's clenching and unclenching grip on my thighs, his body shaking beneath mine. He was angry—rightly so—but it wasn't directed at me. He shifted, and I clutched him. He stilled, his hands shaking on my waist, his chest heaving against my own as I felt his sharp pants on my shoulder and his jaw ticking on the side of my head. I hugged him closer. I need him _not_ to move, but I also needed _him_—emotionally and physically—and I knew he felt the same way. My heart ached, and I sought for comfort in the most basic of ways—through touch, by the feel of someone tenderly caring for me, loving and accepting me, and willing to share a burden.

But there was also that damn greedy light still scorching my soul and body, demanding as it throbbed, and it grew worse when he _moved_. I could still feel him inside me, and God, I could imagine what he looked like, gloriously hard and swelling. _The way he filled me …_

Minutely, I shifted and bit back a sob and a moan. Pleasure and fulfillment, an ache and a burst of joy ripped through my body all at once. Caius hissed before his chest rumbled. His hands moved from waist, hesitantly, an arm encircling my waist, the other sliding up and across my back before his hand clasped onto my shoulder. Clutching his head and with my fingers tangling in his hair, I rose slowly, this time the breath of sob escaping as I trembled from the force of emotions racking throughout my body. I wanted to sink back down on him, but I didn't know if I could handle any more. Yet, I craved it all the same.

I felt Caius's face turn into my hair and his nose grazing my cheek as he leaned back to look at me with heavy-lidded eyes. They were blazing black—desire and sadness. I brushed my lips over his reassuringly. _I was fine, and I was ready._ I just didn't think I could do it on my own.

He kissed me then, so damn tenderly, and it contrasted with him slamming me down. We both gasped and pulled at each other, before I quickly rose and he pulled me down again, both of us holding onto each other for dear life as we steadily quickened the pace. It was bliss and agony, the fire building—climbing—as it seared. The sound of me slamming down as he thrust up pounded in my ears, hard and deep. The ball of lust in my belly grew and expanded, and we squeezed each other impossibly tighter, as if we could adhere our bodies, somehow absorb a piece and keep it forever while holding on to our only lifeline.

It was pain and ecstasy, snarls and choked back cries with mouths hovering as the light seemed to fold in on itself, concentrating, before it exploded, and we soared. I screamed. He roared. The fire scalded.

It dwindled to a torch, a beacon. My body, my head, my soul calmed, a knitting sensation—feather-light—diffusing and carefully cinching together the raw edges. And he was etched there, in the very heart and soul of me, woven inextricably.

Later, as I watched him carefully dress me in his shirt, I marveled at the gentle yet stronger thread that bound us together. It was peace, a contentment I had never known, but there was also one little snag, a restlessness fluttering as it nagged my mind. He hadn't met my gaze, and there was something I needed to say.

I brushed a wet strand of dark platinum-blond hair from over his eye and murmured the words he had spoken earlier this evening.

"Forgive me?"

It wasn't that I was trying to keep it from him, or that I didn't want to tell him. We just didn't know each other—we didn't have the time behind us to know each other—and it wasn't as though I had planned this, but I should've warned him. I should've said something.

I watched his body deflate, the tension leaving him, before he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. Our bodies sighed, and we took a moment to just _be_. With arms squeezing me, he leaned back. I lifted my head and slowly met his gaze. His eyes were still blazing black, and though anger and sadness seemed to live there, pride and gratefulness, joy and a quiet peace exuded from the depths of them.

"You have nothing—_absolutely nothing_—to be sorry for, Isabella."

My lip quivered, and, leaning up, I pressed my forehead against his. He had no idea how much I needed to hear those words right now, but for some unknown reason, even though comfort blossomed as he brushed his nose against mine, the words sounded ominous. The restlessness tugged the base of my skull, and as we silently walked back to Volterra, hand in hand, it grew. With each step closer, I realized with an odd sense of foreboding that I was missing something—no, I was supposed to do something.

We emerged from the tunnels that wound under the hilled city, stopping in yet another new hall, and I frowned, ignoring Aro, Jasper, and two others who stood there to greet us. The niggling feeling was trying to tell me something, and I looked at Caius and cocked my head as two simple words began to register.

_Stop him._

* * *

_Reviews are non-omissions. Give me the truth, but kindly and gently …_

_…_


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